bad jokes

[D.o.S.]

"Diddy.... your dick tastes like SHIT."

[CyaNitrate]

That beats mine:

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

[UglyCasanova]

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.

A little girl was at the hairdressers.
She was enjoying a lollipop and continued sucking on it as she sat down in the chair.
The hairdressed told her: "You're going to get hair on your sweets" and the little girl replied: "I know. I'll get boobs too"

[Thylacine Dream]

Q: What's brown and sticky?


A: a stick.

What's brown and rhymes with "snoop?"

Dr. Dre


What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The hospital bed.


What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

*GAGS*

[Thylacine Dream]

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

[D.o.S.]

gold plated gold right there.

[lordgalvar]

What do they play at an Oklahoma funeral?

Karaoke.

[MEC]

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey wanna see something cool?"
Bartender says "sure"
So he pulls a tiny piano and stool out of a bag, followed by a little man.
The little man promptly sits down and starts playing the piano.
The bartender says "Dude, that's amazing, where did you get him"
The guy tells the bartender a story of how he met a troll that gave him one wish.
The Bartender seems impressed, but the guy points out that the troll is hard of hearing.
The Bartender says "How do you know that??"
And the guy says............"YOU THINK I ASKED FOR A 12 INCH PIANIST?"

Dude got trolled hard.

[MEC]

An 80 year old man walks into the pharmacy with a prescription for Viagra
and ask the young pharmacist if he could cut them quarters for him.

The pharmacist chuckles and says " At your age, there's no way a quarter of a
pill is going to get you anywhere near hard enough to please the ladies.".

The old timer replies " Who ever said anything about pleasing any ladies?
I'm just trying to keep from pissing on my shoes.".

[UglyCasanova]

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

SILLY!

[ChetMagongalo]

man & girl go out to drive under moonlight they stop at on at a side of road.
he turn to his girl and say:
"baby, i love you very much"
"what is it honey?"
"our car is broke down. i think the engine is broken. ill walk and get some fuel."
"good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what. i love you sweaty"

so the guy left to go get full for the car. after two hours the girl say "where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now". then the girl here a scratching sound and voice say "LET ME IN"

the girl doesnt do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and man door hand hook car door

LOL

Why can you never hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because the P is silent.

How did the xbox 360 get its name? It's so good you do a 360 and walk away.

[UglyCasanova]

How did the xbox 360 get its name? It's so good you do a 360 and walk away.

So you'd walk into the Xbox? 360 is a full rotation. Don't you mean 180? In that case your joke makes no sense and I guess that does make it a bad joke

[UglyCasanova]

I didn't want to believe that my father was stealing from his job as a construction worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

The bartender says: "I'm sorry, we don't serve time travelers here". A time traveler walks into a bar.

The mother, who was pregnant again, asked her daughter: "Do you want a brother or a sister?". The daughter replied: "What I really want is a rocking horse, but I don't think your cunt can handle it"

[behndy]

one snowman to the other -

"do you smell carrots?"


why does Santa have such a big sack?

HE ONLY COMES ONCE A YEAR.

[hbombgraphics]

one snowman to the other -

"do you smell carrots?"


why does Santa have such a big sack?

HE ONLY COMES ONCE A YEAR.

Why is Mrs. Clause so Grumpy? Because Santa only comes once a year and it's always down someone else's chimney.