ilovefuzz.com

JERKED CHICKEN.

wait.

howwwwww can you tell someone is a vegan?

just wait 5 minutes, they'll tell you.

behndy wrote:howwwwww can you tell someone is a vegan?

just wait 5 minutes, they'll tell you.

YEP. EXACTLY.

what do vegan zombies eat?

GRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINSSSSSSSS.

What's the difference between Keanu Reeves and Christopher Reeves?

How much fun do priests have?




Nun.

behndy wrote:JERKED CHICKEN.

wait.

What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?

What do you call a canine that practices mindfulness?

A man sits at the bar, enjoying his beer. Suddenly, a monkey pops out of nowhere and cums in his beer. The man, in shock, asks the barman: "Did you see that monkey that just came in my beer? Do you know who owns it?" The barman replies: "No. I just started working here, but the piano man over in the corner there has been here for years, so try asking him". The man walks over to the piano man and says "Excuse me, but do you know the monkey that came in my beer?", to which the piano man replies: "I don't know, but if you hum it I can try to play it for you"

tonewood

UglyCasanova wrote:A man sits at the bar, enjoying his beer. Suddenly, a monkey pops out of nowhere and cums in his beer. The man, in shock, asks the barman: "Did you see that monkey that just came in my beer? Do you know who owns it?" The barman replies: "No. I just started working here, but the piano man over in the corner there has been here for years, so try asking him". The man walks over to the piano man and says "Excuse me, but do you know the monkey that came in my beer?", to which the piano man replies: "I don't know, but if you hum it I can try to play it for you"

So stupid

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"

"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."

The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."