The Devil is in the Description

[Dandolin]

Couple of excerpts from an EvilBay seller describing the Sound Tank Black Noise pedal he/she/it is trying to capitalize:

"Seller Notes: “light wear from use in sacrificial rites, never actually touched goat blood or chicken innards, not used to rub goat blood on virgins. ever.”"



And furthermore, the pedal is alleged to produce "loud, raw noise from the bottom of shuggoth or whatever, pure evil in a handy plastic enclosure from taiwan. you know, for kids."

Purest hyperbole I'm sure, as I've never heard (of) said device. I do own a Sound Tank envelope filter that was once coupled with an oscillation overthruster to allow dynamic control of penetration into the Lectroid dimension, so I feel where the seller....

TL/DR I loled. And wondered, could it be oneofus?

Plus, bonus points for Hudsucker proxying.

Is there a thread for suchlike amusing tidbits from the world of commerce?

[Jero]

Funny as it may be, descriptions like that sell items. Unless of course coupled with an equally silly price.

[doommeow]

Still, Hudsucker FTW. If the price was low enough, I'd bid for that reason alone.

[resincum]

I WANT IT

[Dandolin]

It's still out there. If you summon it, it will come. Just don't break the circle.

[Dandolin]

Still, Hudsucker FTW. If the price was low enough, I'd bid for that reason alone.

Sig-able.

[K2000]

I'm pretty sure there is nothing "noise" about that pedal, I think it's a pretty standard distortion unit (?)

[Dandolin]

I'm pretty sure there is nothing "noise" about that pedal, I think it's a pretty standard distortion unit (?)

Yes, agreed, to you and me maybe, extra...ordinary; but to one of the Great Old Ones from beyond the stars, a grey festering blob of infinite malevolence, described as lesser brother of Tsathoggua or spawn of Cthulhu born from his bile and tears, perhaps, the tones from this pedal could be perceived as purest cacophony.

And thus cause for great celebration and spending of gear funds.


35 shekels of gear funds plus interdimensional shipping at least...at least.

[sonidero]

I have one and his description is spot on... It's kinda heavy and sounds good to me... Black Noise was supposed to be their "Industrial" pedal for the mid 90's... I use it with the 7th Heaven for an Ibby Megalith sound...

[BLOOD EAGLE]

Black Noise was supposed to be their "Industrial" pedal for the mid 90's...

I'm pretty sure that's what the cyber drive was for... Though WHO knows what ibanez was thinking with that whole line of pedals

I don't think I'd ever use good and soundtank in the same sentence. It's adequate, it certainly distorts a clean signal ok enough I guess. It's one of the rarer soundtanks.

[sonidero]

Though WHO knows what ibanez was thinking with that whole line of pedals

Everyone wanted to be NIN, Ministry, or White Zombie...

Lethal, rough-edged industrial distortion at its most extreme-the sound of a small amp overdriven way past the limits. Our heaviest, most intense, and just plain loudest distortion pedal.

A small shitty practice amp blowing up is about right... It is loud also...

[Dandolin]

Ah, see, now you guys got me actually wanting this pedal...and a Cyber Drive, which I will rehouse together and use to, well, leave that to me.

And this thread has now officially out-lived it's intended span of existence, the will of Nyarlathotep be done.

[Jero]

Now I want a Black Noise. Shit.

And Dandolin, you can get my Cyberdrive for cheap if you really want one

[Dandolin]

Now I want a Black Noise. Shit.

And Dandolin, you can get my Cyberdrive for cheap if you really want one

[univalve]

Cyberdrive is fixed wah Sound.