Significant others and gear

[Chankgeez]

... She's still kind of being weird about it though.

I think she's just beginning to realize the full extent of your "problem".

[skullservant]

She's known ever since I joined the forum how bad my spending has gotten. At first she was really passive about it, but since we've now got the apartment together and the wedding is coming up she's been putting her foot down more about things which is good, because I need it.

I shipped out the last guitar I sold this morning so that was good. She was with me and it was kind of expensive, but it's the last guitar going out, so.

And I definitely know it's a problem. I DO know, however, that when I'm with her/around her that I'm not looking for stuff to buy all the time cause I'm usually preoccupied with running errands or spending time with her, and it's really nice.

I'd honestly slowed down over the past month with pedals, and after I got the Verellen, the amp GAS was gone. It's like I've been slowly trying to eliminate each part of my GAS which has been expensive, but good. I've got my dream amp, now my dream guitar, and my pedal board has gotten me more satisfaction in the past month than it has over the past year. And I've been actually PLAYING more. Not worrying about what to get next.

[Dr. Sherman Sticks M.D.]

^good point skully. sometimes its nice to have someone gently put their foot down.

helps keep things in perspective. i know its helped me a lot. like alright maybe she's got a point, maybe i dont actually **need** this so maybe i'll chill on it for a couple days and see how i feel then.

my gas has gone waay down in the past 6 months-1year.
I realized on my own that it was more counter productive than i'd like. she just helped me a little bit make it more of a reality.

my flatulence on the other hand..is at an all time high.

[skullservant]

Yeah. I really fucking love her for being stern and stubborn about this shit. Because its really not necessary at all for me to constantly do this like I do. And I think if it wasn't for her I would be fucking broke

[Big Mon]

I lurv lurv... *le sigh*

[skullservant]

I LURV BLOOGHOST

[Big Mon]

I LURV BLOOGHOST

*le fap*

[skullservant]

Thanks for talking about it and not being judgemental dudes. It means a lot.

[smallsnd/bigsnd]

my flatulence on the other hand..is at an all time high.

all good. chicks dig farts. duh

[phantasmagorovich]

I'm a bit late to the party, but something you should really do is show her you appreciate her and that she puts her foot down.

Did you talk it through the way you have been talking to us? I think if she has really become more cross-eyed about the gear spending it is time to talk about it honestly. Make sure she knows that her opinion is heard and valued. We are men, we usually think most of these sentimental thoughts are understood and it's rubbish to talk about it. But it's not. Even if you did not get anything new from the conversation, it is important for everyone to know that the other knows what the other is thinking. With you guys getting married and moving in together it has all become lots more serious, so she's probably trying to see how responsible you are. Getting her bigger or more presents is one way of showing your affection, but I think it would get you farther if you hear what she thinks about all this. Sometimes such things can coagulate and cause problems. Show her you take care of her, talk to her a lot.

Sorry dude, some of this might be projection from my situation a couple of years past, but maybe you can take what you can use and forget about the rest.

[skullservant]

I appreciate it dude, really.

I've been talking it through with her ever since I told her my plan (before winning the auction, post selling one guitar).
After work two days before auctions end I told her that I was selling 3/4 of my guitars to purchase an aluminum one, and that instead of flat out buying it I was trying to do the somewhat responsible thing of selling 3/4 guitars, and some extra gear to pay it off.

I really think that what irked her was:
A) that I didn't tell her initially of my intent to do so
B) I opened up a Bill Me Later line of credit after I had told her about 2 months ago I wanted to not open up any sort of credit card (cause I really don't like owing people things).

I think the mix of those two things are what it's really about. I've been trying to talk to her about it and hear her feelings because I want to make her feel better about it, and I NEVER want to lose her trust, that would be fucking FOOLISH over a guitar.

On a brighter note we opened our PO Box near our new apartment today, and the smile on her face holding the key was priceless. It was awesome... So awesome

[Mike]

The #1 cause of divorce is money, so it is incredibly important that we are all on the same page with our significant others. My wife and I are 100% on the same page with money, and have been for a long, long time. We have been paying down debt since 2007. No vacations, no going out to dinner, no cellphones, no birthday/Christmas/other gifts for each other-- nothing. We are just about done with everything but the house, and that payment is lower than some car payments.

It is important, though, to set aside some no-questions-asked spending money for each partner each month, kind of like an allowance, even as you get out of debt. We do about $25/month each, but we both spend much less. She doesn't spend any, while I have to buy strings and things. That really helps with GAS, though. Want that cool $200 toy? 8 month wait, man.

My wife is so cool about gear, though. She knows that if I am pitching her on something I want, I will eventually get it. I am so thrifty that she knows I wouldn't even consider buying something unless it is either 1. severely discounted, 2. rare, or 3. impossible to make myself. That has lent a ton of credibility to my gear requests.

She's played bass for about 14 months now, and she's starting to get GAS. It's kind of... ermm... Girl GAS®. She wants a new bass and a battery-powered amp, but she also wants musical decorations. She wants framed chord and scale charts hanging in our living room, and she wants a big mounted display of old tube boxes for decorative purposes only.

Mike

[skullservant]

I had to beg my fiance to start a noise project with me. We played our first set last December. It was awesome. We played 2-3 shows after that, again, it was awesome. I built her a pedal that she cherishes, its a RAT into a Tremolo. I let her pick everything out. Pink LEDs, gold flecks on yellow paint. It's HER pedal, and she loves it. I want to play more music with her. She said she wouldn't start a real band with me though.

I've been encouraging her to start a small craft business. She bought felt a few days ago and last night with her best friend made some ornaments. I told her that she should really start considering to put a few tests up on Etsy to see if anyone is interested. I'd like to get her involved in a hoby as well0 I think that's another part of it. She doesn't really have a hoby, just spending time with me. So if she got something she was really excited about persuing like felt crafts, we'd both have something to share stories about and kind of cheer each other on with

[Josh Pelican]

My ladyfriend hasn't cared about my purchases until recently. We're supposed to be moving out next year, so I really need to curb my spending.

I recently received six records from To Live A Lie. She wasn't impressed. I don't think she likes powerviolence.

[skullservant]

Hahahahah it's really funny cause my fiance is so used to my shit now. She LOVES Weekend Nachos, and actually asked me a few times to go to some of their shows when they're in town. I got her REALLY into Pelican, definitely one of her favorite bands now