The Confessions Thread

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Re: The Confessions Thread

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snipelfritz wrote:EDIT: I just need a synth, and a sequencer, and a drum machine. I have the obligatory hipster-macbook already, just no idea what to use it for.


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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by Ayrton »

When I get my salary, the first thing I buy is books. In fact, I have more books than clothes.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by jfrey »

Just two comments on the whole "devaluing" remarks thing.

1) You can't "devalue" another person. Value, esteem, confidence, etc. These are all internal things. Another person can neither increase nor decrease them. If a person "makes" you feel bad, it just means that you were lacking in self-esteem to begin with.

2) It's entirely possible that it is just the women I know, but in my experience women are incredibly worse with those sorts of comments than men. It's like non-stop whenever I go out with my platonic girl-friends. So it seems kind of hypocritical for anyone to have a problem with it.

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EDIT: Oh... that's the opposite...

Ayrton wrote:When I get my salary, the first thing I buy is books. In fact, I have more books than clothes.

:thumb: I do this too. Hardcore. :thumb:

And, my confession of the day - which I have put in two wrong threads so far... But finally, here it is:

The things I do just to be always being "productive" sometimes seem strange even to me.

I'm currently copying a book by hand. With my left hand. I'm right-handed.

I've also switched the mouse of my computer over to the left side, started brushing my teeth left-handed, etc.

So... yeah...

Oh, and I'm reading a math book. You know, for fun...
Last edited by jfrey on Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by snipelfritz »

who the fuck do you think you are DaVinci?
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by smile_man »

jfrey wrote:Just two comments on the whole "devaluing" remarks thing.

1) You can't "devalue" another person. Value, esteem, confidence, etc. These are all internal things. Another person can neither increase nor decrease them. If a person "makes" you feel bad, it just means that you were lacking in self-esteem to begin with.

2) It's entirely possible that it is just the women I know, but in my experience women are incredibly worse with those sorts of comments than men. It's like non-stop whenever I go out with my platonic girl-friends. So it seems kind of hypocritical for anyone to have a problem with it.



Okay, and I'm sure being a white male you know all about systematic oppression and shit like that. I got you dawg, you're right.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by jfrey »

smile_man wrote:Okay, and I'm sure being a white male you know all about systematic oppression and shit like that. I got you dawg, you're right.

Jesus christ I hate when people say things like this.

Principles and logic don't change with your colour, or gender.

What you would call "devaluing" remarks, are things I would never say. Not with a gun to my head. But not because I think they would make a person feel bad or some bullshit reason like that. It is simply classless.
Last edited by jfrey on Mon Dec 19, 2011 11:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by smile_man »

Well, I don't know what you expect people to say when you try an speak from a position that you can't really have first-hand experience in.

I really don't see how you can assume that there are universal truths with regard to how people feel.

If your only concern with saying shit like that is that it will make you seem not classy then I don't really know what to say.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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smile_man wrote:Well, I don't know what you expect people to say when you try an speak from a position that you can't really have first-hand experience in.

I have never had to steal to eat. I still know it to be wrong regardless of my inexperience with the circumstance. A person's experience with such things doesn't necessarily give them sage wisdom on the subject. If anything, it often distorts their perspective. Detachment can sometimes (maybe even most of the time) give you a better vantage.

smile_man wrote:I really don't see how you can assume that there are universal truths with regard to how people feel.

Is self-esteem internal? Is confidence? I would think these ideas are not only universal but also obvious.

smile_man wrote:If your only concern with saying shit like that is that it will make you seem not classy then I don't really know what to say.

I was illustrating that while I would not personally take part in such things, I don't believe there is - without malice - anything that you can vilify in such things. Especially since - from my experience at least - it is something that gets thrown around on both sides of the table.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by smile_man »

jfrey wrote:I have never had to steal to eat. I still know it to be wrong regardless of my inexperience with the circumstance. A person's experience with such things doesn't necessarily give them sage wisdom on the subject. If anything, it often distorts their perspective. Detachment can sometimes (maybe even most of the time) give you a better vantage.


Yes, but you've never -had- to steal, such as you've never been the victim of systematic oppression, specifically in regards to the case I am talking about (I can't assume you've never known any form of oppression, but I think I can safely assume that you've never been subjected to the form of oppression that women experience through being referred to as pieces of meat.)

jfrey wrote:Is self-esteem internal? Is confidence? I would think these ideas are not only universal but also obvious.


Do you get to decide this for people? Self-esteem and confidence can come from one's one mind, but don't tell me for a second that everyone is a brick wall who just takes what everyone says and does not internalize even a little bit of it.

jfrey wrote:I was illustrating that while I would not personally take part in such things, I don't believe there is - without malice - anything that you can vilify in such things. Especially since - from my experience at least - it is something that gets thrown around on both sides of the table.


Forgive me if I'm assuming the wrong thing, but if you're saying that sexism exists for men in the same way as it does for women, it's just not true.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by phantasmagorovich »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSWN6Qj98Iw[/youtube]

This makes me want to visit North Korea and check out the chicks. Even I think that's disgusting.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by smile_man »

phantasmagorovich wrote:[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSWN6Qj98Iw[/youtube]

This makes me want to visit North Korea and check out the chicks. Even I think that's disgusting.


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Re: The Confessions Thread

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smile_man wrote:Yes, but you've never -had- to steal

How does that change whether such an act would be moral or not?

smile_man wrote:I can't assume you've never known any form of oppression

I don't believe I have - my family was very poor for most of my life (they are actually doing very well now though), but I don't consider that a form of oppression, because it isn't as if someone was doing that to us. I probably wouldn't be aware of it if I was though so don't take my word on that. People in general don't give me negative feelings. My girlfriend can make me feel mildly upset or annoyed but that's about it. To be honest I think it hurts her that she can't make me feel more. It isn't intentional, but I have spent so many years - 17 give or take - thinking about how I think, and then thinking about what that means, and then thinking about how I arrived at that meaning, etc. for infinity, that I don't really think or feel things that I don't choose to think or feel. Possibly tangent.

smile_man wrote:Do you get to decide this for people? Self-esteem and confidence can come from one's one mind, but don't tell me for a second that everyone is a brick wall who just takes what everyone says and does not internalize even a little bit of it.

I'm not really deciding that for people. Nor am I saying that you don't internalize things that people say or do. I'm saying that peoples thoughts and feelings are their responsibility to manage. I'm not asking anyone to do anything I haven't done myself - albeit for different situations. Even then, I'm really not asking anything. But, it's something people should consider if they don't want baggage always holding them back from being the people they should be.

smile_man wrote:Forgive me if I'm assuming the wrong thing, but if you're saying that sexism exists for men in the same way as it does for women, it's just not true.

This is an overgeneralization. Sexism does exist for both, although it is not the same thing - and has historically in most cultures impacted women much more than men. This specific example however - about "objectifying" language - is present for both. As I mentioned earlier, I have seen it more so on the part of women than men. And, if that is not simply an exception, then it is hypocritical to be offended by it.
Last edited by jfrey on Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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phantasmagorovich wrote:[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSWN6Qj98Iw[/youtube]

This makes me want to visit North Korea and check out the chicks. Even I think that's disgusting.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWkqBRuwjeY[/youtube]

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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by smile_man »

jfrey wrote:How does that change whether such an act would be moral or not?


Okay, I feel like we've gone off on a tangent here. While I understand the analogy you are using, I don't think it applies to this case.

jfrey wrote:I don't believe I have - my family was very poor for most of my life (they are actually doing very well now though), but I don't consider that a form of oppression, because it isn't as if someone was doing that to us. I probably wouldn't be aware of it if I was though so don't take my word on that. People in general don't give me negative feelings. My girlfriend can make me feel mildly upset or annoyed but that's about it. To be honest I think it hurts her that she can't make me feel more. It isn't intentional, but I have spent so many years - 17 give or take - thinking about how I think, and then thinking about what that means, and then thinking about how I arrived at that meaning, etc. for infinity, that our thoughts and emotions just aren't really in the same place. Possibly tangent.


Maybe a tangent, but you've made valid points nonetheless. My opinion is that you can not say to someone "Don't feel (insert emotion/opinion/whatever) about (insert situation), because I wouldn't feel that way, and don't understand how you would." (I don't know if it sounds like I'm accusing you with that hypothetical statement, but that was not my intention)

jfrey wrote:I'm not really deciding that for people. Nor am I saying that you don't internalize things that people say or do. I'm saying that peoples thoughts and feelings are their responsibility to manage. I'm not asking anyone to do anything I haven't done myself - albeit for different situations. Even then, I'm really not asking anything. But, it's something people should consider if they don't want baggage always holding them back from being the people they should be.


I'm just saying that it can be hard for people to manage something that they are constantly bombarded with almost every day.

smile_man wrote:This is an overgeneralization. Sexism does exist for both, although it is not the same thing - and has historically in most cultures impacted women much more than men. This specific example however - about "objectifying" language - is present for both. As I mentioned earlier, I have seen it more so on the part of women than men. And, if that is not simply an exception, then it is hypocritical to be offended by it.


While I do not deny that objectification exists for all genders, I do think that it in no way impacts men in the same manner that it does women. While mean can be objectified it doesn't follow them around and affect them in every aspect of their public life. To say that women can be sexist towards men in the same way that men are towards women implies that women have the same type of power that mean do, which they really don't. (I'm not accusing you of anything, merely stating my belief)
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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jfrey wrote:Nor am I saying that you don't internalize things that people say or do. I'm saying that peoples thoughts and feelings are their responsibility to manage. I'm not asking anyone to do anything I haven't done myself - albeit for different situations. Even then, I'm really not asking anything. But, it's something people should consider if they don't want baggage always holding them back from being the people they should be.

yes!

smile_man wrote:I'm just saying that it can be hard for people to manage something that they are constantly bombarded with almost every day.


When I found myself, nothing could throw me off. Things even got more-"normal" because people started to treat me differently. So there is truth in the saying that when you change yourself, you've changed the world. :thumb:

Like a young athlete. He has things tough, but when he gains experience, he sees things from a different perspective, also allowing him to act differently, to improve his performance. And when he does improve, things that bugged him in his starting days are not really big deals, cuz he learned how to handle them and how to think and position himself for the given situation.
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