The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread...

[dubkitty]

i'm still at the point where i can't concentrate on anything very much. i can't listen to music because it's too evocative, or concentrate enough to read anything other than the supportive messages i've begged for on the forums i frequent and the e-mails i've received. i haven't even tried to watch TV. and i still spent much of yesterday clinging to the telephone talking to friends for housrs. i'm a little better though...when i woke up this morning i had a few minutes of laying in bed with my favorite cat purring next to my legs and enjoying the luxury of knowing nobody was going to be bugging on me, putting me down, or making me feel bad because of who i am. there's two sides to every coin, and an unhappy partner can cause a lot of pain even though you love them dearly.

[Schlatte]

awww dubkitty...

just hold on to the good side of the coin and quit bothering about the other side...
and don't quit reading the supportive posts and e-mails..
we you.

[Fuzzy Fred]

Does anyone else want to kill bands that don't use an amp but go straight into the PA system and I don't mean because they can't afford a good amp, I mean guitar through like 4 multifx pedals into the PA?

Oh and when keyboardists use the stupid angel choir setting for every song?

[McSpunckle]

I can kinda understand the no amp thing... it's less stuff to carry around. On NIN's last tours, that's basically what Trent did for the guitars, and it sounded fine. Of course, he wasn't doing all the cool guitar tones, and Robin Finck was using a real amp, sooo... yeah.

Now, bassists that go bass > DI > PA can go fuck themselves.

[Birthday Boy]

Cigarettes not really hitting the spot today.

Woke up with a bunch of random people in my apartment and some girl next to me. Went and had lunch with my parents which was ok. Got back to my mess around four (someone knocked over my cactus so there is dirt on my floor, and my cactus of 10+ years is at the end of its rope). I've just been sitting on my couch doing nothing since then.

I've started writing and playing with my friend's new boyfriend, and it's going pretty well I think. I'm having a total confidence crash about my voice and writing/guitar skills though. I really want to be the person that just does that kind of thing, but I can't help but have constant doubts about my abilities. I want to be fantastic and make an actual difference in rock music. That pipe dream is necessary for me to get out of bed most of the time. I want to be the kind of lyricist and singer that makes you feel like your whole life depends on the next turn of phrase. I want to make my music mean everything to someone in a different city or country. I want to change people the way Rimbaud and others have changed me. I'm putting too much pressure on myself, or so I'm told.

I have problems doing other things like school to "keep afloat". I'm bored, mostly uninspired and I want to escape.

[Achtane]

I have problems doing other things like school to "keep afloat". I'm bored, mostly uninspired and I want to escape.

This is a good summary of how I feel as well.

[alexa.]

+1 -.-'

[kbit]

I hate when doing the things "you're supposed to do" in life make you feel like your missing out on the actual life experiences you crave. I might just be another angsty young adult, but god damn it, it's so fucking frustrating. Of course I could say fuck society and do what I want and probably live like a nomad but I still enjoy a lot of things society offers, such as being able to use the internet and write this kind of stupid shit, or live how I'm accustomed to living. I don't think I have the gall to do that anyways.

[the Life Aquatic]

i cant have my fucking cake and eat it too. i can get one half of my life going the way i want but the other half fails miserably and brings on my depression and panic attacks, vice versa.
ive tried to cut alot of things outta my life but its easier said then done so ive just given up. shit sucks, i just wanna graduate, get a job and live alone, fuck this bullshit

[Achtane]

I hate when doing the things "you're supposed to do" in life make you feel like your missing out on the actual life experiences you crave. I might just be another angsty young adult, but god damn it, it's so fucking frustrating. Of course I could say fuck society and do what I want and probably live like a nomad but I still enjoy a lot of things society offers, such as being able to use the internet and write this kind of stupid shit, or live how I'm accustomed to living. I don't think I have the gall to do that anyways.

+ a million

[alexa.]

I think I'm beginning to lose my mind..

"finish collage, you're not good enough, you can't be happy without money, you're not good enough, clean your room, come back home early, you're not doing it right, you're lazy, you live only for yourself" -while being hypocrites and not listening to a word I say

Heh.. I don't really know why I just don't say "fuck it" and leave, get a job at a GC or wherever and live..
I'm a coward >_<
I even would finish collage, if only they'd STEP OFF MY BACK WHAT THE FUCK!??!?!



..also, kinda glad to see I'm not the only one who feels the same about those things

[Birthday Boy]

I think I'm beginning to lose my mind..

"finish collage, you're not good enough, you can't be happy without money, you're not good enough, clean your room, come back home early, you're not doing it right, you're lazy, you live only for yourself" -while being hypocrites and not listening to a word I say

Heh.. I don't really know why I just don't say "fuck it" and leave, get a job at a GC or wherever and live..
I'm a coward >_<
I even would finish collage, if only they'd STEP OFF MY BACK WHAT THE FUCK!??!?!



..also, kinda glad to see I'm not the only one who feels the same about those things

Yeah. Music is my way out both emotionally and practically. I just choose to see the two years I have left to a Bachelor in behavioral science as the time I need to get my writing, singing etc together. Then my band is going to "make it" (in my mind), thus saving me from a stupid life I don't want.

I'm actually very happy that I found someone that gets, or at least likes, what I'm doing musically. I just keep having pseudo-panic attacks and general anxiety because what I've been working on has started materializing and it's become about actually doing something with the ideas. The thought of a "final version" of a song is very dramatic to me, because it needs to contain everything I am and that is important to me.

I write for the same reasons Egyptian pharaos built their mortuary temples. Images had the power to make things happen in the world and in the afterlife. For example, a picture of a lion carved in stone was sometimes destroyed literally so the lion couldn't attack the god of the temple's cult (the king). The pictures made things happen.

Edit: I also realize this sounds a bit out of touch with reality, but that changes nothing.

[dubkitty]

i make music because it's a place i can go that's all mine that nobody can take away from me. you could imagine how important that is to me right now.

my girlfriend is coming over with her father to pick up clothes so she can go to work this week. i'm miserable and terrified...i haven't seen her since she walked out on Thursday. i don't know if i can see her withoug breaking down.

[Bassboar]

I can kinda understand the no amp thing... it's less stuff to carry around. On NIN's last tours, that's basically what Trent did for the guitars, and it sounded fine. Of course, he wasn't doing all the cool guitar tones, and Robin Finck was using a real amp, sooo... yeah.

Now, bassists that go bass > DI > PA can go fuck themselves.

I just did that this weekend, but it was a walk in, one song, walk out affair, I'm sorry.

[Fuzzy Fred]

I can kinda understand the no amp thing... it's less stuff to carry around. On NIN's last tours, that's basically what Trent did for the guitars, and it sounded fine. Of course, he wasn't doing all the cool guitar tones, and Robin Finck was using a real amp, sooo... yeah.

Now, bassists that go bass > DI > PA can go fuck themselves.

That what the bassists did too!

And the store even brought out a fucking huge Orange stack they could use but everyone was like "LOLWUT IS AN ORANGE I ONLY USE ACOUSTIC OR AMPEG I'LL JUST GO DIRECT"

I wanted to slit all of their throats. And then there was a U2 cover band, and the dude almost brought the douchey level of Bono. All this dad rock because I was trying to win some raffle and they refused to call people or whatever if they weren't there, but tons of scene chicks to stare at. No idea why there were so many slutty scene chicks, but I approve