The Confessions Thread

[snipelfritz]

Dubkitty, you're making me sad. It sucks that you're going through so much, but in all honesty, it seems just a little condescending to say some of us don't know pain. That said, I think your age isn't something to be ashamed of. You have experience and wisdom to share that a lot of us would appreciate. We all feel a little bit like outsiders in a way. I've only been here two and a half months and I have a thousand posts. Is it because I know a lot about pedals and contribute a lot of valuable information? No, it's because I hardly have anyone to talk to in real life and until recently, no reasons to get out of the house. My join date is December 31. I was at home alone on my computer in a dark room trolling forums all New Years Eve. If that isn't sad, I don't know what is. I guess my point is don't feel like you're either here or you're not. You don't have to log in everyday, but you're welcome to. I know I'll be glad to see your fuzzy headphone cat any day. Best of luck to you sir. I hope things turn around for you.

I'm not sure when you say "depression" if you mean sadness from recent events, or Major Depressive Disorder which can be triggered by stressful or tragic events. If you think it may be the second one, I recommend seeing a psych doc. I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds, but you sound a little irrational and self-effacing not just "down in the dumps." I don't mean to sound like I'm saying "you need pills," it's just that mental illness has been a big part of my family history and more recently a very big part of my life, so I'm a little hypersensitive to those kinds of symptoms.

This thread turned into what I like to call a "Breakfast Club Moment." Very therapeutic.

Spacey, for some reason when I first read that, I wasn't really paying attention and I read George Jefferson. I feel like either one would be awesome.

[dubkitty]

i didn't mean to sound condescending. it's just that i wish that things could be simple again. i wish i could be like unownunown and believe that life is beautiful, or like jfrey and believe that if i just work hard enough things will be all right, that life and love and the world and me myself are fixable, or better yet are OK as they are. i used to believe that--i said this in the reply i deleted above--but i've seen too much to believe that any more. is it condescending to envy what you perceive as others' relative innocence, or to wish that you didn't know the things you know?

FWIW it's Major Depressive Disorder, and other fun stuff too that i'd rather not talk about. i've been seeing therapists and psych MDs and been on medication of one sort or another for several years off-and-on, but as you may have experienced yourself from the way you've described your situation in the past, the medication is only about 70% effective in the best of times and just effective enough to keep me alive in the worst. the side effects are also problematic...i quit playing guitar for several years in the early 00s because the SSRI i was taking totally eliminated my desire to play a musical instrument and it's fucked with my physical and mental functioning in a number of other ways. thank you for caring enough to express that concern.

[jfrey]

Now that I know it is MDD I feel bad about what I said. I wrote what I wrote as though talking to someone that is perhaps just going through a crisis, or has a poor outlook, or even has just a longstanding "depressive" streak. It is another think entirely though. Please accept my apology.

Justin

[StudioShutIn]

Same here, Dubkitty...I can't pretend to know exactly what you're going through..but I've experienced some similar problems over the years.
As others have said, I appreciate the perspective you bring to the forum and would hate for ILF to lose that...

[sonidero]

As others have said, I appreciate the perspective you bring to the forum and would hate for ILF to lose that...

Take care of whatever you need to IRL but ILF will always be here for you when you need... I'm too old here and I'm 35 so I feel ya...

[snipelfritz]

i didn't mean to sound condescending. it's just that i wish that things could be simple again. i wish i could be like unownunown and believe that life is beautiful, or like jfrey and believe that if i just work hard enough things will be all right, that life and love and the world and me myself are fixable, or better yet are OK as they are. i used to believe that--i said this in the reply i deleted above--but i've seen too much to believe that any more. is it condescending to envy what you perceive as others' relative innocence, or to wish that you didn't know the things you know?

FWIW it's Major Depressive Disorder, and other fun stuff too that i'd rather not talk about. i've been seeing therapists and psych MDs and been on medication of one sort or another for several years off-and-on, but as you may have experienced yourself from the way you've described your situation in the past, the medication is only about 70% effective in the best of times and just effective enough to keep me alive in the worst. the side effects are also problematic...i quit playing guitar for several years in the early 00s because the SSRI i was taking totally eliminated my desire to play a musical instrument and it's fucked with my physical and mental functioning in a number of other ways. thank you for caring enough to express that concern.

Online support groups. A good place to get some things off your chest, it's been helpful for me. Best of luck, buddy.

I just came back from the most bad ass errands run ever! First, booze: whiskey and beer. Second, paying $9 in overdue library fees. Third, picking up shamrock shakes for me and my mommy. The cashier at PickN'Save was all, "OMG, he parties on a Monday. He's my hero!" All the old ladies at the library were all, "OMG, he turns in Kafka books weeks late." Then, the bepimpled teens at their after-school McDonalds jobs were all, "OMG who's this scary(in the sexy way) older dude playing noisy dance-punk as he goes through the drive-through."

[Fuzzy Picklez]

sometimes I sprinkle my pubes into my girlfriend's parents' food.

...
Have they ever noticed hair in their food?

[theactionindex]

DUBKITTY: Although I may be significantly younger than you, and as such, may possess a certain naivete regarding "the big picture" versus how I see the world and what it means to me at this point in my life, in some way, however small or insignificant it may be, I understand where you're coming from and I wish you the best in whatever it is that you need to overcome to achieve a more comfortable state of being. From one human being to another. (My dad's a super fuckin' hippie, so yeah that explains that somewhat...)


Now, back to my regularly scheduled confession.

Confession: So, I hate my boss a lot... but I also just realized that I want to bang my boss.
HATE FUCK

[Seedy]

I just came back from the most bad ass errands run ever! First, booze: whiskey and beer. Second, paying $9 in overdue library fees. Third, picking up shamrock shakes for me and my mommy. The cashier at PickN'Save was all, "OMG, he parties on a Monday. He's my hero!" All the old ladies at the library were all, "OMG, he turns in Kafka books weeks late." Then, the bepimpled teens at their after-school McDonalds jobs were all, "OMG who's this scary(in the sexy way) older dude playing noisy dance-punk as he goes through the drive-through."

The best part was when ZZ Top gave you the keys to the Eliminator, making all this possible.

[DarkAxel]

Pat Metheny's "Secret Story" is seriously one of THE best pieces of music ever recorded to me

[StudioShutIn]

I have the sneaking suspicion that Cee-Lo Green just might be the reincarnation of Ernie Isley...

edit: if Ernie Isley is still alive, then there goes that theory

[snipelfritz]

Either way, if you're ever in a rap contest against him(Cee-Lo) makes sure to bring your dad...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5mVNRsedbY[/youtube]

[brochacho]

Sea animals scare the shit outta me. Crabs especially.

[foomanfat]

Sea animals scare the shit outta me. Crabs especially.

Conquer your fear. Eat them all. They're delicious.

[brochacho]

I can't even look at them without being horrified, and I used to live on a beach. If I touched something that felt like a crab while swimming I wouldn't go back in the water for months.