The Confessions Thread

[Achtane]

I would like "Luna" SO MUCH MORE if it didn't have that
"I'm in love with you
SO IN LUH-HUHHHHVE..."
section. It makes me think of shitty 80's ballads.

It ruins the song.

[dubkitty]

i'm thinking that it's probably about time for me and ILF to part ways before the worst comes to the worst. my rapidly-worsening depression is making it impossible for me to suffer fools gladly, and i don't really belong here anyway. i'm at least a quarter-century older than the typical person on this forum, i'm not part of your general shared kultur, and i don't know that anything we have to offer each other is sufficient to bridge that gap. people are already in with the age mockery practically every time i post. and it breaks my heart when i see people fretting about their latest test, or what school they're going to choose. i wish that were the only question i had to consider, rather than: how do i pay for my home? can i bear to be in my relationship of 12 years any more? and if not, can i stand to rebuild my life from the ground up...again? what am i going to do now that it's six months without work? how do you live with a heart that's been well and truly broken--not in a broke-up-with-the-gf way, but in a lost-my-wife-and-one-true-love way that never gets better, just farther away in time--when you've still got another 20 or 30 years left to live, and no bloody reason to at all other than foolish persistence and false hope? it was probably a mistake to come here at all, but i figured "me...MBV...fuzz...ILF." i don't know what to do yet. you'll know i'm going if my posts dwindle to a thread in b/s/t...i'll need to unload a bunch of delightfully noisy self-indulgence.

[phantasmagorovich]

i'm thinking that it's probably about time for me and ILF to part ways before the worst comes to the worst. my rapidly-worsening depression is making it impossible for me to suffer fools gladly, and i don't really belong here anyway. i'm at least a quarter-century older than the typical person on this forum, i'm not part of your general shared kultur, and i don't know that anything we have to offer each other is sufficient to bridge that gap. people are already in with the age mockery practically every time i post. and it breaks my heart when i see people fretting about their latest test, or what school they're going to choose. i wish that were the only question i had to consider, rather than: how do i pay for my home? can i bear to be in my relationship of 12 years any more? and if not, can i stand to rebuild my life from the ground up...again? what am i going to do now that it's six months without work? how do you live with a heart that's been well and truly broken--not in a broke-up-with-the-gf way, but in a lost-my-wife-and-one-true-love way that never gets better, just farther away in time--when you've still got another 20 or 30 years left to live, and no bloody reason to at all other than foolish persistence and false hope? it was probably a mistake to come here at all, but i figured "me...MBV...fuzz...ILF." i don't know what to do yet. you'll know i'm going if my posts dwindle to a thread in b/s/t...i'll need to unload a bunch of delightfully noisy self-indulgence.

This post breaks my heart. I'm totally with you on the 'which school to chose' front, I rather think about how to save my marriage, if only for my daughter to have a good home to grow up in. But I tend to use it as a reminder of how life was back then and it brings a smile to my face. But I am not in a depression. I would definitely miss you, man. Always loved you for your manners and your light ambiguous humour. I do see that a depression is something that does not work well with this kind of pastime though. But maybe you'll want to come back as soon as you are feeling better.

[nad]

Yeah I feel old around here and I'm only 31. But I'm about to (attempt) to try and give up e-life as a whole because this shit is bad for me. Funny when last weekend I said "I'm not going to go online today" I read 2 books.

Also, I hate TV. This is not the confession. I hate TV, haven't had an antenna connection for 6 years now, and I've never had cable (except with roommates in college). So, our picture tube TV died a few weeks ago, so we finally got one o' them fancy bigass flatscreen thingies. I'm slightly allergic to stupid technology (I'm anti-laziness, not anti-progress), but I figured it was time to join the LCD revolutoin. So after watching some Netflix, Monty Python, the new Castlevania, and even a little sci-fi, I was still thinking "meh, this is okay." But then last night I watched summat Planet Earth BBC special thing, and HOLY LIVING FUCK I love my jumbotron.

[bob the r0bot]

i'm thinking that it's probably about time for me and ILF to part ways before the worst comes to the worst. my rapidly-worsening depression is making it impossible for me to suffer fools gladly, and i don't really belong here anyway. i'm at least a quarter-century older than the typical person on this forum, i'm not part of your general shared kultur, and i don't know that anything we have to offer each other is sufficient to bridge that gap. people are already in with the age mockery practically every time i post. and it breaks my heart when i see people fretting about their latest test, or what school they're going to choose. i wish that were the only question i had to consider, rather than: how do i pay for my home? can i bear to be in my relationship of 12 years any more? and if not, can i stand to rebuild my life from the ground up...again? what am i going to do now that it's six months without work? how do you live with a heart that's been well and truly broken--not in a broke-up-with-the-gf way, but in a lost-my-wife-and-one-true-love way that never gets better, just farther away in time--when you've still got another 20 or 30 years left to live, and no bloody reason to at all other than foolish persistence and false hope? it was probably a mistake to come here at all, but i figured "me...MBV...fuzz...ILF." i don't know what to do yet. you'll know i'm going if my posts dwindle to a thread in b/s/t...i'll need to unload a bunch of delightfully noisy self-indulgence.

[Achtane]

I like you, dubkitty.

[DarkAxel]

yeah, me too, dubkitty... those age jokes are just JOKES, trust me... you're a part of ILF for me and that's it... age doesn't matter

i'm 19 and even i feel like i don't belong here... i'm the kid from a post-communist country that is frankly probably one of a few people in the country that are interested in pedals this much... i'm a moderator one the biggest forum site here, so i think i know so this is like a home to me - in a way... but on the other hand i'm the "mainstream" one here... the amount of music everybody listenes to i never heard about petrifies me... the attitude towards noise, noisy brutal pedals etc. petrifies me even more... i think i'm the least fuzz lovin' person here

whatever, i'm just talking shit because i don't have a blog... again...

the point is - i don't think you should feel like a stranger here because of your age... but i understand your point. do what you need to do

[jfrey]

@ dubkitty -

Although I don't know you well - having been here a relatively short time, and still not yet acquainted with everyone - and risking that you may dismiss me out of hand as I am only 23... It looks to me like you're losing sight of one of the rules I feel so very fundamental in going through life; take the good and leave the bad. You can't help that many of the people you encounter may be younger than you. It would be the same simply walking down the street. And, the problems of youth are not always so very different than the problems of age. It is merely another face of "ageism" to accuse every younger person of having never experienced loss, or the depth of true emotion, or of the weight of responsibility. Of course one could also say that even with the wealth or size of problems one may face as one ventures further from youth, the life left behind should also have raised you to face it.

As for beginning life again - after anything, whether it is a career, or relationship, etc. - you're falling into the trap of what I call the illusion of pot-commitment. Basically when you're far enough into a poker hand, and your stack is low enough, there's this idea that you are committed to the pot. That if it's all in, then it's all in, no looking back. Pot-commitment is for the most part an illusion. There's always room to start over. All you need is the desire to do so. And, desire, and will, and ambition, and happiness, and every other good emotion, and even just work, are ends in and of themselves, and reason enough to redouble your efforts at life.

So what do you do when life sucks, and you don't know what to do? You work out - every day. You apply to more than a dozen jobs - every day, even if they are outside of your field. You read - every day, and about things you wouldn't normally read. You practice your instruments - every day. You talk to new people, you do new things, you learn about something new - every day. You eat better, you live better, you go to GNC or whatever's near you and get some vitamins. You leave the lights on when you're in a room, you sit with good posture, you get up early in the morning, and you unplug the tv and leave it like that. You go pick up a bunch of books on finance from the library and study. Whenever you 'just can't make yourself do something' you go do it anyway.

When I was very young my father told me "Everything in life is a choice. What you like, what you dislike, who you're with, how you feel, whether you're happy or sad, or just bored. It's your responsibility. And, no one else can be held accountable for your responsibilities or your choices."

Now, none of this has anything to do with staying on ILF. But it does have to do with everything else. I'd say good luck, but if you're relying on luck, then you don't deserve any. It isn’t something that exists either way.

I suspect many people will come down on me for having little sympathy. I have never felt sympathy before and have no idea what the emotion is. I do know however that people that talk about sympathy all the time are more often than not the least productive people on the planet. In the same way that people that talk about trust and the importance of being trusted are 99 times out of 100 people I wouldn't trust with a scrap of paper let alone something important.

[dubkitty]

i wrote a whole reasonable response to that post, but after seeing the added last paragraph i deleted it. you ARE trolling. thanks.

[jfrey]

Not condescending, or rather I don't mean to be if that is how I sound. The thing is I'm not saying you're weird or different or anything like that. I hear people saying these same things every day. And it isn't any one age group, or gender, or anything. And I didn't mean that with "right-mindedness" and all that that anything is possible. It's a simple fact of life that not everything will work out. What I was trying to say is that the perseverance and "right-mindedness" is worthwhile as a goal in and of itself even if it never amounts to anything.

I'll leave it at that, since as you said you weren't asking for advice - I was trying only to explain. My previous response was not written with any malice. I am not the type to share much, but know that I have spoken not from simpleminded idealism or any other such childish notions, but rather from more experience that you would believe could be crammed into my paltry handful of years. I wish you hope.

Sigh.. no. I don't troll. I just don't feel sympathy. I wouldn't want it for myself so I wouldn't presume to feel it for another.

[dubkitty]

well, that response won't make tons of sense now that i deleted, but thanks for clarifying.

[plhogan]

Sucks that Dubkitty was proven right almost immediately.

[Fuzzy Picklez]

Fighting sucks.

[futuresailors]

Confession: This page is bicurious.
Also, sometimes I sprinkle my pubes into my girlfriend's parents' food.

[SPACERITUAL]

I had sex with another black girl last night. When i went to sleep i had a dream that thomas jefferson highfived me.