UGLIEST GEAR

General Gear Discussion - effects, synths, etc.

Moderator: Ghost Hip

User avatar
dubkitty
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 13940
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:03 pm
Location: somewhere between Never-Never Land and Wonderland, in a place called Never Wonder Land

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by dubkitty »

scrolling past that photo, i almost fell asleep. i don't know if that counts as "ugly," but it's sure boring af.
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni

FIFTY YEARS OF SCARING THE CHILDREN 1970-2020--and i'm not done yet

DUBZ LOOPZ 2: THE NEXT GENERATION OUT NOW: https://on.soundcloud.com/9HKgc5xbaaYz6FNL7

DUBZ ÄLTER LOOPZ (2012-14): https://soundcloud.com/dubkitteh-1/sets ... ks-2012-14
User avatar
dubkitty
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 13940
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:03 pm
Location: somewhere between Never-Never Land and Wonderland, in a place called Never Wonder Land

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by dubkitty »

get a load of this. apparently some brain genius at Gibson World Headquarters thought that what the world needs now is sadly not love, sweet love, but instead a guitar cobbled together from DNA strands of the Les Paul, Explorer, and...Teisco "tulip" guitars? what an absolute abomination. ugly and dumb. they could at least have put some interesting pickups in rather than bog-standard PAFs. or an interesting tailpiece. design really is a dead craft, isn't it?
Gibson horror.jpg
Gibson horror.jpg (24.78 KiB) Viewed 1097 times
apparently they're blaming this on old drawings by Ted McCarty, whose family wants Gibson to quit using his name (here, the "Theodore Standard") but don't have the scratch to fight in court for years. so it's bad and dumb all over. possibly the only full-sized guitar ever to look like a student/child's model while costing two thousand smackeroos. yep. 2k for a mahogany slab guitar. at least my White Falcon looks like it's worth $3000. the thing that really offends me most is that it's so low-effort. take the most basic pickup/bridge/tail arrangement they make, stick it in a funny-shaped slab with a 70s Gretsch pickguard (yeah, i know it's barely re-profiled from a LP Special, but i swear it could be from the Booneville Baldwin plant) and the same transparent cherry finish they use on everything (there are also other equally uncreative color schemes), and use what they're amusingly now calling the "Scimitar headstock" and standard dish inlays that don't relate to anything about the rest of the guitar at all. why not the kind of side dots/stripes they're doing on the Futura series and some of the less trad acoustics? after the landlords and lawyers, can this sort of cheeseball creatives be next to the wall? literally no two visual elements of that guitar even go together.
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni

FIFTY YEARS OF SCARING THE CHILDREN 1970-2020--and i'm not done yet

DUBZ LOOPZ 2: THE NEXT GENERATION OUT NOW: https://on.soundcloud.com/9HKgc5xbaaYz6FNL7

DUBZ ÄLTER LOOPZ (2012-14): https://soundcloud.com/dubkitteh-1/sets ... ks-2012-14
User avatar
dubkitty
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 13940
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:03 pm
Location: somewhere between Never-Never Land and Wonderland, in a place called Never Wonder Land

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by dubkitty »

contrast to what FMIC has been doing the last decade with their Paranormal/Parallel Universe/etc. guitars. some of them have been both well thought-out and downright pretty. i really liked the Jazz Telecaster and the one with the gold-foil pickups, and the P-90 Strat with the stop tail in TV Yellow is witty.
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni

FIFTY YEARS OF SCARING THE CHILDREN 1970-2020--and i'm not done yet

DUBZ LOOPZ 2: THE NEXT GENERATION OUT NOW: https://on.soundcloud.com/9HKgc5xbaaYz6FNL7

DUBZ ÄLTER LOOPZ (2012-14): https://soundcloud.com/dubkitteh-1/sets ... ks-2012-14
User avatar
dubkitty
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 13940
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:03 pm
Location: somewhere between Never-Never Land and Wonderland, in a place called Never Wonder Land

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by dubkitty »

it's kind of sad what Gibson is doing nowadays. they're essentially doing what FMIC has done with the Gretsch lineup since Joe Carducci retired: slight variations on the same old themes in what can only be described as Fender colors, and hyper-expensive slight stylistic revamps of the old reliables...335s with quilted tops and rather nifty fret markers. there's an Epiphone Firebird in Sonic Blue now. which actually is quite cool, but that's another story. their ads keep popping up on Facebook with Les Pauls in Candy Apple Red, purple sparkle, and other decidedly wack finishes for a LP. and as we've seen their new ideas are even more awful than their late 70s/early 80s "innovations."
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni

FIFTY YEARS OF SCARING THE CHILDREN 1970-2020--and i'm not done yet

DUBZ LOOPZ 2: THE NEXT GENERATION OUT NOW: https://on.soundcloud.com/9HKgc5xbaaYz6FNL7

DUBZ ÄLTER LOOPZ (2012-14): https://soundcloud.com/dubkitteh-1/sets ... ks-2012-14
User avatar
Kacey Y
IAMILF
IAMILF
Posts: 2313
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2013 3:39 pm
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by Kacey Y »

dubkitty wrote:get a load of this. apparently some brain genius at Gibson World Headquarters thought that what the world needs now is sadly not love, sweet love, but instead a guitar cobbled together from DNA strands of the Les Paul, Explorer, and...Teisco "tulip" guitars? what an absolute abomination. ugly and dumb. they could at least have put some interesting pickups in rather than bog-standard PAFs. or an interesting tailpiece. design really is a dead craft, isn't it?
Gibson horror.jpg
I could see this basic shape being cool, if executed totally differently. Like leaning way more into something quirky, flashy, 60's Teisco style, but the headstock is just a hard nope.
Appalachian Queer Punk Moms Local 138
User avatar
echorec
IAMILFFAMOUS
IAMILFFAMOUS
Posts: 4817
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2014 1:31 am

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by echorec »

Kacey Y wrote:I could see this basic shape being cool, if executed totally differently. Like leaning way more into something quirky, flashy, 60's Teisco style, but the headstock is just a hard nope.
You may, inadvertently, be describing Wandre guitars. ;)
User avatar
dubkitty
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 13940
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:03 pm
Location: somewhere between Never-Never Land and Wonderland, in a place called Never Wonder Land

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by dubkitty »

if you gave that shape as an idea to Schecter or Eastwood they'd come up with something interesting, but the Gibson is like a clown wearing a suit and tie.
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni

FIFTY YEARS OF SCARING THE CHILDREN 1970-2020--and i'm not done yet

DUBZ LOOPZ 2: THE NEXT GENERATION OUT NOW: https://on.soundcloud.com/9HKgc5xbaaYz6FNL7

DUBZ ÄLTER LOOPZ (2012-14): https://soundcloud.com/dubkitteh-1/sets ... ks-2012-14
User avatar
coldbrightsunlight
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 13654
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 12:20 pm
Location: UK

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by coldbrightsunlight »

dubkitty wrote:get a load of this. apparently some brain genius at Gibson World Headquarters thought that what the world needs now is sadly not love, sweet love, but instead a guitar cobbled together from DNA strands of the Les Paul, Explorer, and...Teisco "tulip" guitars? what an absolute abomination. ugly and dumb. they could at least have put some interesting pickups in rather than bog-standard PAFs. or an interesting tailpiece. design really is a dead craft, isn't it?
Gibson horror.jpg
apparently they're blaming this on old drawings by Ted McCarty, whose family wants Gibson to quit using his name (here, the "Theodore Standard") but don't have the scratch to fight in court for years. so it's bad and dumb all over. possibly the only full-sized guitar ever to look like a student/child's model while costing two thousand smackeroos. yep. 2k for a mahogany slab guitar. at least my White Falcon looks like it's worth $3000. the thing that really offends me most is that it's so low-effort. take the most basic pickup/bridge/tail arrangement they make, stick it in a funny-shaped slab with a 70s Gretsch pickguard (yeah, i know it's barely re-profiled from a LP Special, but i swear it could be from the Booneville Baldwin plant) and the same transparent cherry finish they use on everything (there are also other equally uncreative color schemes), and use what they're amusingly now calling the "Scimitar headstock" and standard dish inlays that don't relate to anything about the rest of the guitar at all. why not the kind of side dots/stripes they're doing on the Futura series and some of the less trad acoustics? after the landlords and lawyers, can this sort of cheeseball creatives be next to the wall? literally no two visual elements of that guitar even go together.
Late to the party but daaamn that's bad. The shape is great, then the headstock magically ruins it. You're so right it looks like a student model somehow. Looks like a tiny baby joke guitar despite being normal size... :picard: I like experiments but the smooth long headstock with the angles on the body, is one of the worst guitars I can think of in combination.
füzz lover. Friend. Quilter evangelist.

I make music sometimes:

https://nitrx.bandcamp.com/

https://mediocrisy.bandcamp.com/

https://fleshcouch.bandcamp.com
User avatar
dubkitty
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 13940
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:03 pm
Location: somewhere between Never-Never Land and Wonderland, in a place called Never Wonder Land

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by dubkitty »

it would work a lot better with a smaller body size and headstock relative to the scale length, and a 24-fret neck or a 25.5" scale like most Teiscos seem to have used (or both!) would also help. a shorter headstock alone would go a long way.
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni

FIFTY YEARS OF SCARING THE CHILDREN 1970-2020--and i'm not done yet

DUBZ LOOPZ 2: THE NEXT GENERATION OUT NOW: https://on.soundcloud.com/9HKgc5xbaaYz6FNL7

DUBZ ÄLTER LOOPZ (2012-14): https://soundcloud.com/dubkitteh-1/sets ... ks-2012-14
PanicProne
FAMOUS
FAMOUS
Posts: 1065
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2010 2:16 pm
Location: Swengland
Contact:

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by PanicProne »

Whenever I'm feeling down, I come to this thread for a good laugh!
User avatar
dubkitty
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 13940
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:03 pm
Location: somewhere between Never-Never Land and Wonderland, in a place called Never Wonder Land

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by dubkitty »

i saw someone on the Let's Talk Guild forum, which i joined recently, bragging on the Ted he'd just acquired. not wanting to harsh his happiness, i held my tongue, but i'm boggled that people out there other than suits at GibCo actually like it.
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni

FIFTY YEARS OF SCARING THE CHILDREN 1970-2020--and i'm not done yet

DUBZ LOOPZ 2: THE NEXT GENERATION OUT NOW: https://on.soundcloud.com/9HKgc5xbaaYz6FNL7

DUBZ ÄLTER LOOPZ (2012-14): https://soundcloud.com/dubkitteh-1/sets ... ks-2012-14
User avatar
John
IAMILF
IAMILF
Posts: 2077
Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2012 12:50 am

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by John »

friendship wrote:death to false bleep-blop
User avatar
dubkitty
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 13940
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:03 pm
Location: somewhere between Never-Never Land and Wonderland, in a place called Never Wonder Land

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by dubkitty »

that seems like it was beamed in straight from 1977.
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni

FIFTY YEARS OF SCARING THE CHILDREN 1970-2020--and i'm not done yet

DUBZ LOOPZ 2: THE NEXT GENERATION OUT NOW: https://on.soundcloud.com/9HKgc5xbaaYz6FNL7

DUBZ ÄLTER LOOPZ (2012-14): https://soundcloud.com/dubkitteh-1/sets ... ks-2012-14
User avatar
01010111
IAMILFFAMOUS
IAMILFFAMOUS
Posts: 4772
Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2009 3:48 pm
Location: Frogtown

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by 01010111 »

That's hideous, but I would rock that any time
User avatar
sutarappa
committed
committed
Posts: 495
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2009 10:00 pm
Location: Come on in...

Re: UGLIEST GEAR

Post by sutarappa »

Such a doom 5 string
There is a character limit.
Post Reply