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[Eivind August]

Thanks for bringing the happiness, jondom!

[brak purp]

I'm here for the Zelda talk. WHat's new in Hyrule?

[Eivind August]

A new shitty timeline, sadly.

[brak purp]

Oh really? Ganon?

[tremolo3]

I'm here for the Zelda talk. WHat's new in Hyrule?

Zelda is a girl.

[Eivind August]

Oh really? Ganon?

Oh man. So, you know Breath of the Wild, right? That was good. That was great. But then they went and gave us Age of Calamity, which was going to tell the story a hundred years prior. But they decided to retcon the whole thing with time travel shit, and it's a fucking disgrace. Like, ok, cool, but gimme that sweet Zelda lore, I don't need your anime bullshit. Who the fuck played Breath of the Wild and thought "oh yeah, it would be sweeeeeet if Hestu like beat everything and made this whole thing not happen". It was a fun playthrough, though.

Spacemen 3 did it better.

[brak purp]

I know what you mean.
I used to believe it was the Capcom influence. Now maybe all the oldtimers have retired?

[Eivind August]

That Capcom dude actually did some good stuff when he was hired by Nintendo, iirc. But I know what you mean. Basically everything this millenium has been hit or miss. It seems like they don't know what to do with the "franschise" [sic]. And, man, just make a fucking Zelda game. Let me swing my sword at some evil shit. Let me fuck up some octoroks. Let me fucking solve some shitty puzzles. Don't pretend like you got sweet ass lore when all you got is some fucking bullshit.

[Dandolin]

wait tho - if you approach the rock face behind Master Kohga, you can blend in and flat-travel to a cave with a dead bomb plant. Switch to dark Hyrule, and take the bomb plant with you to Kara Kara Bazaar. Give a Korok seed to Kachoo (thus rendering the big Hetsu payoff moot), who will lead you to the Baker's tent on the outskirts. Best the Baker in the Game and Watch Chef minigame, and you will be given the Goatberry Pie recipe. Switch back to Labryanna, take the recipe and the code that can be deciphered in the shadows cast by Wart in the Great Bay Temple in Majora's *and the dead bomb plant* to Koholint Island, and give them to the Wind Fish, who will, no questions asked, spout out the finished pie - quite irrestible to Hestu - containing the now living bomb plant, which will instantly activate upon exposure to the chemical by-products of the mixing of Hestu's "saliva" and goatberry juice.

Boom! Game over, all retcons imploded, all copies of every Zelda game ever over-written with a completely remixed TAOL code, happy ending* for EVERYBODY!

*make sure you jotted down the lyrics of the song the Wind Fish sang while the pie was "baking" - you're gonna need it to survive the new boss battle at the end of TAOLremix

at least I think that's how it's supposed to work....