Switchers, blenders, etc.

[ALLisNOISE]

Shoe string budget: Boss LS-2
You can run in series or parallel (with a volume for each loop), A/B between loops, or use it as a master bypass of a single effects chain (A or B). You can’t reverse the loops though, and you can only choose one of these options at a time, changeable only by bending down to turn the knob. So, if you want two or more of these options at once, or you don’t want to have to bend over to select A/Bypass or B/Bypass, you may wanna look elsewhere, but that being said, they can be had for cheap on the used market if you’re patient, and there’s no reason you can’t have a whole board full of furious white & black routing power!

Deluxe Budget:
The Boss ES-5 or ES-8
It’s a MIDI programmable effects command center, with series/parallel, loop re-ordering, and the ability to change the parameters of you other gear via MIDI, and store all of thes options in bankable presets which you could switch on the fly, and if needed, at the touch of a footswitch, move from “preset” mode to “pedalboard” mode, allowing you to use the switcher to toggle individual loops on and off rather than entire chains.
...and, if I’m not mistaken, each footswitch can be setup as momentary or latching, meaning you could have a burst of fuzz or dollop of chorus for as long as you held down the switch.

Side note to this: while not an effects router, per se... the Line 6 Helix HX can do a smidgen of this with added bonus of routing signals chains with a crossover or... dun dun duuunnn! An envelope! You could play quietly for phasey Reverb and dig in for delayed filter freak outs.
If you just want stand alone routers like this, there are a few companies that do the crossover splitter, KMA Tyler is the one that sticks out to me the most. I don’t know of too many companies still making an envelope controlled router, but there was the Zvex Loopgate and it looks like the Spaceman Mission Control has some element of this.

But yeah, there’s a ton of stuff out there for every budget that can combine all the weird effects we have in new and beautiful ways! I only talked about the LS-2 AND ES-8 because I personally use them. Check out the Wounded Paw Blender pedals. Ohhh! and SaturnWorks. He seems to specialize in custom signal routing! If you can’t find exactly what you’re wanting, I bet he could custom make it.

And finally, if you’re brave enough... look into matrix mixers! While you tend to see them utilized more in the context of harsh noise, they can be made to “behave” with beautiful reseults. The VFE Klein Bottle is a pretty fun example that blended “frequency specific” routing with a matrix style sing along flow.

TL;DR
Plug into this thing to make that thing sound like another thing.

[Heraclitus Akimbo]

I'm a big fan of the patchulator, which does most of what you talk about. Super-easy to try out different series of pedals, and your signal path is what's in front of you, if you don't want things cloaked in the veil of MIDI. Plus it looks cool.

[frodog]

I've been using the ZVez Loop Gate and an ABY box for a while now, it gives me some of the options you're looking for. First in my chain there is an RMA Tetanus Booster, basically always on, splitting the signal off to the B input of the ABY (Y is out). Then the main signal goes through a fuzz (varies which one) and into the Loop Gate, which goes to input A . In the loop (fed by Y) are all my pitch/mod/filter/delay effects. At the point where the loop returns though, it's split again by a stereo delay. So one output potentially goes on through the LG and two more 'dry' pedals to amp A, while the other goes through its own delay/verb to amp B.

I'm confusing myself too trying to explain this, but basically I have three options.
1: Split the signal at the start, select input B, keep LG off = parallel (wet/dry).
2: Split signal with LG, select input A = series (w/ optional stereo delay).
3: LG on in Mix mode, select input B = Tetanus directly into the loop, bypassing the first fuzz, but turning the gate on lets me either fade or chop that into the loop signal return.

This setup doesn't give me any order switching and such, just opportunities to have different dirt on each amp, as well as wet/dry or all mixed together. Well, modulated delay and verb is only available on the B side, and glitch/HM-2 is only on side A (no I don't have a turntable on my board.. yet). I'm sure if I replaced that simple ABY with a Patchulator or something I could do a lot more, but not sure if I need that. An advanced switcher would probably make life easier in the long run, but yeah it would be expensive and require a total board revamp.

[omarwhite]

buzz electronics out of England makes some quality loop switchers that are programmable.

[ALLisNOISE]

I liked the Patchulator when I had it, but my biggest gripe was that the patch points weren’t... normalized, I guess. It would’ve been neat to have your signal passed through once a patch was unplugged, or at the very least, not crackle and buzz when repatching. That’s just a wish of mine though and would most likely take away from the wider versatility that it affords.
It doesn’t really offer parallel patching, though, unless you have stereo/dual I/O elsewhere on your board.
They’re are a few companies making tiny, MXR sized mixers like Montreal Assembly and Red Panda. Those are super helpful for controlling multiple signal chains, and I personally use the Montreal Assembly Fewtility One to route my guitar and a few drone synths to my board.
But you said you were looking for all in one, and I really feel like the “super” switching systems from Boss, RJM, or GigRig are really the way to go. They do offer all of the routing options you’re looking for. I’d say if the guy you’re currently working with doesn’t feel like he can accomplish your idea, give these systems a closer look.

[jirodreamsofdank]

I've been looking at the Gigrig Quartermaster series since I don't want to do any programming of loops or anything.

[ALLisNOISE]

Yeah, sorry that SaturnWorks didn’t work out for you!
As far as the Fewtility One goes, I think he only makes a few every great once in a while. You may want to reach out to him. It’s rad though. One hardwired input and one hardwired output; the other two can be switched to either ins or out, so you can do 3 at 1 or 1 at 3 or anything in between.


The Red Panda isn’t quite as flexible, but no less versatile.


I’d love to get one of these to use in tandem with the Fewtility to process 3 parallel effects chains!

[rfurtkamp]

ES-8 does EVERYTHING you're describing.

EVERYTHING.

Not cheap, but parallel chains, series chains, moving stuff around on a per patch basis, manual control, enough patches to choke horses, and MIDI.

[BoatRich]

ES-8 does EVERYTHING you're describing.

EVERYTHING.

Not cheap, but parallel chains, series chains, moving stuff around on a per patch basis, manual control, enough patches to choke horses, and MIDI.

Does the ES-5 do blending and stuff too? The 8 is overkill for me but I remember the 5 being limited

[rfurtkamp]

The 5 doesn't have nearly the capacity (both in terms of number of loops, 5 versus 9 on the ES-8, and in the amount of stereo/parallel chains).

When I got the 8, the 5 didn't exist either.

But objectively, one isn't going to get cheap on something that offers on the fly switching on a patch by patch basis - or else there'd been a Hotone version already!

[rfurtkamp]

Layout on ES-8 lets you reassign things (per-patch as well) to crazytown, but it's as small as it can reasonably be given what it is (since we're talking 20+ cables for signal alone).

Use is intuitive - patch setup can be done with the editor or in the box (neither hard), and manual mode (unless you assign that footswitch to something else) is a tap away for individual on-offs.

Can set trails on a per-patch basis as well, etc.

It's the crazy programmable patchbay I always wanted and then some for absolute sonic hell.

I even use one of the expression outs with the built-in LFO to control sweep on my Lexicon Vortex, again, on a per-patch basis.

[rfurtkamp]

I wasn't gunning for pretty, but functional and...well..yea, functional!

[rfurtkamp]

I know of nothing else that meets your qualifications as far as function.

[omarwhite]

I wasn't gunning for pretty, but functional and...well..yea, functional!

what is your reasoning for having it on the rear of the board? curious as to why it's not up front for ease...

[rfurtkamp]

On a good day, I have one working foot. It's a switcher.

The only footswitches I can use on said good day are the VERY low-profile ones (Boss FS5/6/7s) with soft touch.

I have a brace of them running out of the back of it as well.

That's a pedal platform on a milk crate.