If you look at it the right way, circumstances might be pushing you to step off the familiar path completely and on to a brand new one. You won't have an impressive backline or feel the SPL behind you, but going virtual could change your game. Minimal weight/bulk, ease of transport, and the potential to sound great through substantial house PAs tick your main boxes.
Your role in your band reminded me of a duo I saw come through my town – they were more proggy/noisy than doomy/sludgy but plenty heavy regardless. The guy in your position played a Chapman Stick through an Axe-FX with no stage amps... and before anyone goes

, the bottom line is that his sound was
massive: mightily overdriven and in-your-face, as present as I'd ever heard an electric stringed instrument be at a local level and definitely at that joint. Every component of a normal signal path – amp, cabinet, mic, soundman – would've had to have been 9.9/10 to achieve what this guy did just running a line direct from one box to the board.
It's not necessary to have an Axe-FX to do this – the latest batch of pedalboard-style modelers could get you there. And take into account what someone in your role could do with one of them: split your signal in the box (possibly by frequency range), process low and high signals separately (with different amp/pedal models and effects), and mix them to taste at the output. If you don't want to rely on house monitors, carry one full-range speaker just for yourself and set it up in front of you or to your side. (Use the same speaker to program your sounds and you'll always be hearing something familiar live.) From club to club, your sound will be more consistent the less you rely on individual soundmen and their varying abilities.
This isn't the coolest proposal ever made to someone in your genre – as you wrote, you'd have to change some ingrained thoughts about gear and appearance – and not everyone meshes with this kind of stuff – I've only dabbled with it personally – but considering the parameters of your situation, you really could blaze a trail (if just personally, but maybe musically, too). Just an idea.