Eurovision 2016

[Iommic Pope]

No emergency dance lessons for Bulgaria?
It's a shame really. I can envision this song blasting out of shit hotels in Fortitude Valley as you walk past them at sit in the morning, with drunken slags vomiting at the cab rank while witless roid raging gorillas try to finger them as they bend over to aim it in the general direction of the gutter.
So, it could be a hit, but they just need to package it better.

[Iommic Pope]

Sweden, I'm loving you, but you need to make sure your entrants finish puberty and don't resemble unlikable mollusc boys with the foreheads of middle aged men.

And how do you follow up last year's entry with this?

Disappointment reigns supreme.

[Iommic Pope]

Germany is, apparently, the home of lame, not quite right, Lolita schoolgirls, and the Laser Tree Forest.
Seriously, Bjork called from 1994 and she wants her schtick back.

And this song sucks.
Hard.

[Iommic Pope]

Ugh.
The French.

Same shit as always: some douchebag who refuses to sing in English.
Whatever.

[Iommic Pope]

Poland again.
Time to feed the bird, the cat, get some more laundry to sort and pour another beer.

[Iommic Pope]

Cyprus bring the new nu metal....sort of.
Like, not playing and mining sucks but I get it. At least tapping occurred in some context.

I am actually impressed.

[Iommic Pope]

Serbia's entry has grown on me.
There is room for bad 90s Bond songs.

Plus this girl is a honey, so you know....

[Iommic Pope]

Lithuania.
I'm still waiting for you to get to the point.

[Iommic Pope]

Croatia, rad dresses and great voices are your strongpoint.

That haircut and that song let the fucking team down.

[Iommic Pope]

Russia, that was an impressive use of the screen effects there.
But no more love songs about Putin, please.

[Iommic Pope]

Spain, that was weak sauce.

[Iommic Pope]

Latvia stole Peter Garrett's dance moves.

[goroth]

Latvia stole Peter Garrett's dance moves.

[Iommic Pope]

Malta, I respect sending a pregnant lady out there but give her a decent song to sing.

And Georgia, the techno desert rock thing still isn't working.

[Eivind August]