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Fuzzy Picklez wrote:That part I made bold is important.
Nothing will get better if you wait for it to fix itself.
You have to try. You have to communicate and try. Waiting won't solve anything.
If there is another girl around, use it as motivation to fix things more. It's perfectly normal to have wandering eyes. There are lots of cool people around, but hopefully your girlfriend is cooler.

I am much too young to give this advice, but about 6 months ago I ruined a 4 year relationship. If I had really tried instead of waiting, I would more likely than not still be in that relationship. Don't do the same thing as me.

jfrey wrote:

Fuzzy Picklez wrote:That part I made bold is important.
Nothing will get better if you wait for it to fix itself.
You have to try. You have to communicate and try. Waiting won't solve anything.
If there is another girl around, use it as motivation to fix things more. It's perfectly normal to have wandering eyes. There are lots of cool people around, but hopefully your girlfriend is cooler.

I am much too young to give this advice, but about 6 months ago I ruined a 4 year relationship. If I had really tried instead of waiting, I would more likely than not still be in that relationship. Don't do the same thing as me.

The thing is, I've done that stuff. I've done - and continue to do - what I can on my part. And, I've talked to her, but she's so hyper-sensitive to criticism that she takes anything as like an attack. I've already put nearly 7 years into this relationship, and I'm starting to think that if I'm going to get out it has to be soon. I'm going to have another talk with her, and try to seriously convey what needs to change if we're going to stay together. I just hope she actually listens. If she doesn't though, I'm not going to bemoan it.

phantasmagorovich wrote:If you are serious about this I think the discussion has ended.

jfrey wrote:

phantasmagorovich wrote:If you are serious about this I think the discussion has ended.

Yeah, that probably didn't go across right.

I do this thing I call "skipping the emotional middleman". So like if I start to be upset about something but I know that I'll eventually be over it, I just skip to being over it. I always forget that most people don't operate like that. The only time I ever get stuck in an emotional state is when I'm not positive what the next step is. Right now I don't know whether things will work out, or even if that would be the best option. As a result I'm like super stressed. Once I decide on something though I'll already be past all of this.

phantasmagorovich wrote:On a whole different level - this skipping the emotional part does not sound healthy in the long run. Do you always do it or just sometimes if you choose to?

jfrey wrote:

phantasmagorovich wrote:On a whole different level - this skipping the emotional part does not sound healthy in the long run. Do you always do it or just sometimes if you choose to?

Ever since I was a kid. I've always been able to manipulate my emotions, thoughts, and even tastes in things. I actually remember the first day I ever did it. I was five and at my friend Will's house. My mom would usually stay for a while after dropping me off, and whenever she left I would be afraid and beg her to stay. Suddenly one day the concept hit me (I know at five right? lol). You see I always felt perfectly fine again just a few minutes after she was gone, and I realized I could just skip to that. I've never felt fear since that day. It's so automatic now that I don't even think about it.

I skip anger in the same way (hot anger at least, cold anger is different. does anyone else make that distinction?). Sadness is more tricky. If it's minor or not really valid I just skip it, but if it's more profound I sort of create a hypothetical version of myself and put him in a separate room in my mind. Once he works through it then I open up the room, and "remember" working through it. It's sort of like using a multi-core processor to handle certain tasks.

I can do similar things with feelings like pain. If it's a small pain I sort of jump ahead of the signal and just cut it off. If it's a larger pain, I have to sort of "knock" it off track so it doesn't get to the part of my mind that experiences pain. This works with everything except dull consistent pains - like a migraine or stomach ache for example.

Sigh... I probably shouldn't have posted all that. My girlfriend has always told me that the way I think isn't normal, but I'm not sure I've ever quite believed her completely.

phantasmagorovich wrote:But it definitely sounds like you would make a good Jedi!

IEatCats wrote:None of my friends are responding to me about hanging out tonight, which is weird, because I thought I had plans.

MEC wrote:The new eBay design is so fucking horrible it hurts my brain.
I really don't see what was wrong with the old design.

futuresailors wrote:That "oh, that BIN is a pretty good price, but I'll try to get it cheaper through bidding and then it ends up going for double the original BIN and you can't afford it" feeling.