The Confessions Thread

[bubstance]

Y'all have had that distinct "voice of God/universe/energy/whatever" speaking to you out of the nothingness, right?

I dream about my exes all of the time. I dated this one girl for 5 years coming up on a decade ago and I still dream about her 4/7 nights a week for all of the years since it ended. They're not positive, either; mostly I dream about how she cheated on me and wake up not just sad but actually /angry/ at myself.

Anyways, on my own for the last month and still having the dreams, but now I also dream about the recent girlfriend. Wake up every day exhausted and angry. It drives me crazy just wishing I could bleach my own brain and Eternal Sunshine myself.

Cut to a week or so ago: my mother introduces me to one of her co-workers. She's amazing, I love talking to her. I have never talked to a woman as freely as I do with her. Neither of us is really in the "dating" mindset or even "getting physical with someone" mindset, but it's still refreshing.

So I'm sitting there talking to her at 2AM, and the voice comes in clear as day:

"You will fail here too."

I know, I know, "wah wah wah cry a little more you baby bitch"...

But that shit still hurts.

[BetterOffShred]

Tell your brain to shut up. My brain does the same stuff man for sure. It really takes practice to shut those parts off.. I just keep trying. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.

If she's talking to you at 2 am.. she's probably willing to see where it goes ..

[spacelordmother]

If she's talking to you at 2 am.. she's probably willing to see where it goes ..

YUPPP

[Paul_C]

If she's talking to you at 2am, she's probably waiting for you to make a move.

[bubstance]

If she's talking to you at 2am, she's probably waiting for you to make a move.

If she's talking to you at 2 am.. she's probably willing to see where it goes ..

YUPPP

Yeah, this seems to be the consensus among the few people I've talked to about the whole thing, and that worries me. I have these long conversations with her, even being told things about how "if I'm not into a guy I'll let him know" and STILL the dark part of my brain is just screaming at me.

"SHE DOESN'T MEAN THAT."
"SHE'S JUST BEING NICE."
"SHE WOULD SAY THIS STUFF TO ANYONE."
"EVEN IF IT ALL MEANT SOMETHING, YOU DON'T DESERVE A WOMAN LIKE THIS."
"YOU WILL RUIN THIS."

Not trying to be a bummer or "woe is me", I just /never/ write these things down in any capacity.

[BetterOffShred]

See the first sentence of my original response.

Tell your brain to shut up.

You gotta hang it out there if you want to get ahead in life or just break even it seems like. Just tell her you're into her and want to see if she would be interested in letting you take her to dinner. Or something similar. You don't have to be perfect. She isn't.

[Paul_C]

If she's talking to you at 2am, she's probably waiting for you to make a move.

If she's talking to you at 2 am.. she's probably willing to see where it goes ..

YUPPP

Yeah, this seems to be the consensus among the few people I've talked to about the whole thing, and that worries me. I have these long conversations with her, even being told things about how "if I'm not into a guy I'll let him know" and STILL the dark part of my brain is just screaming at me.

"SHE DOESN'T MEAN THAT."
"SHE'S JUST BEING NICE."
"SHE WOULD SAY THIS STUFF TO ANYONE."
"EVEN IF IT ALL MEANT SOMETHING, YOU DON'T DESERVE A WOMAN LIKE THIS."
"YOU WILL RUIN THIS."

Not trying to be a bummer or "woe is me", I just /never/ write these things down in any capacity.

Maybe if you idly bring up some of the above in conversation she'll make the first move.

[bubstance]

I know it may seem insincere due to being on a page on an internet forum, but thank you both for your words. If even people I don't know are telling me some of these things, maybe there's something to it.

I'm helping her move out of her current situation in a few days; like me not too long ago she's living with her ex and trying to physically separate after mentally leaving him 6 months ago.

I made some chocolate liqueur to give to her as a sort of housewarming gift because I don't know how to be nice in a normal way.

"I LIKE YOU, DRINK THIS BUT PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M TRYING TO GET YOU DRUNK SO YOU'LL FUCK ME OH SWEET JESUS I SWEAR THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M DOING."

Maybe should add that in the ~week I've known her we've had around 36 hours of conversation. Basically every time we talk it winds up being 3AM and 6 or 7 hours has passed. I have not slept much, but part of me doesn't really care.

[BetterOffShred]

Booze is good, feels are good, long chats are good. All systems go.

[Achtane]

I started working in a factory last week and am already starting to lose my grip on sanity. It's eight hours of the same 20-30 second long series of movements, seven, eight, nine hundred god damn times a day. Endlessly. As quick as you can.
Standing at the same spot all day. No opportunities to sit except during the 20-minute lunch break, which is really 10 minutes due to travel time.
I can check my watch, then check it again an hour later and only five minutes have gone by.
No music or headphones allowed, only earplugs to mute the drone of machinery.
I feel shattered after each shift.

But the real horror is...it's STILL better than working retail.

[BetterOffShred]

So I took a class on robotics when I was getting a B.S. of engineering, and it's interesting to see the fundamental reasoning for robotic integration into manufacturing. It's not because humans are shit at things, it's usually because the task is such that repeatability is key, but actual involvement for said repeatability is low. So they automate. I'm not saying your task is such, but it's just interesting. I assembled weird oil heaters for a while right after i graduated and it was fairly mindless but clearly not something you could automate. Too many variables.

I dislike automation.

[comesect2.0]

this new neck im jamming on has more prominent frets and that changes everything because Ive been playing with low dull fretts for a few years....thought I was Stevie ray vaughan for 2 min's

[comesect2.0]

have a great weekend muffmunchers!

[tremolo3]

I like The National.

[spacelordmother]

I like The National.

I fucking love the National.