ilovefuzz.com

Stop not posting.

very sorry, i'll try harder

Good. There is much trying in this thread of late. I approve.

Continue not not posting!

goroth wrote: not not

Who's there?

Not not posting.

Not not posting who?

Not not posting double negative Dylan Thomas.

old casual fuck as I may be nowadays I still hereby commence no not posting on ILF days, with hard ripping rainbow explosion of fuzz joy.

That's some serious rainbow ripping you got going on dude!

Good to see you round here again!

goroth wrote:That's some serious rainbow ripping you got going on dude!

Good to see you round here again!

+1 Old skool ILF

i did quit posting for awhile. my hypomania acted up and i spent several weeks in la-la land, and have also been extremely occupied texting my new gf who lives 200 miles away in West Virginia for hours every day. i was spending my non-texting time online shopping, which isn't good for me. i might actually get a TV because it would be a better way to occupy myself than spending money, though then i'd have to get cable which i really don't want to pay for. but anyway, i'm posting. happy now?

When you get your TV don't watch the shopping channel though!

Good to see you back

We're your shopping channel DK!

LOL, true dat. i have an eBay/Poshmark/Reverb problem though. hi, my name is Bob, and i'm an online shopping addict. i think it's driven by my diagnosis of Bipolar 2 (i.e. manic depression with training wheels on). when i feel shit, buying new (i.e. used/new to me) clothes , CDs, and guitar tchochkes distracts me from my fucked-up thought practices.

As far as I know I'm pretty psychologically well adjusted. I don't really want to go to a shrink just in case I find out that isn't the case. But I definitely fall into the habit of buying shit to get me out of a funk. Or rather, in the hope that it'll get me out of a funk. Sometimes I don't even notice it - it's just low level irritation that I figure I'll solve by buying some shit. I'm becoming more aware of it and trying to do it less. So I can totally imagine that that could get way out of hand if your brain wasn't cooperating.

There is a line between anguish and languish (traced in language).

But it's not a one-way only connection. Especially if you incremental yourself
out of things that don't work or don't continue to work. Especially after you
start to notice that some habits started with actions and reactions that were
right at the time and for a time but no longer work indiscriminately.
A joyful thing returned to indiscriminately loses its spark and luster.

It's situational. No cookie cutter required with nuance noodles swimming in
potential broth. Do you use a spoon or use chopsticks like a watchmaker with
tweezers?

The allure of "the next new shiny" is intoxicating, but it's a slippery slope, and
sometimes, like an ibex, you have to be nimble and trust yourself to gain
purchase to move on without stumbling.

Sometimes it's possible to dip down towards languish but rebound towards sanguine.
The roadmap isn't about continuing to act as if you are still where you were, but
about paying attention and noticing that you are standing in your own footsteps.

at least i'm not Bipolar 1, which is the classic up-for-days fucking everything up bipolar disorder. those folks sometimes spend everything they have and then some. but sometimes it sneaks up on me...i just learned that if i'm so moved by songs or other art that it makes me cry i'm going off the rails. which kind of sucks because i only intake art i find extremely moving, e.g. i love the Grateful Dead but am indifferent to Phish because their songs generally are meaningless. why can i not get tears in my eyes listening to Sigur Rós without having an episode? my psychiatrist says that one thing that sucks about being bipolar is that you have to worry that you're feeling too good.

I've never been formally diagnosed with anything...I went to a few professionals once to try and pin things down and it was never about getting a diagnosis, but managing things instead and I do fine managing things (most of the time). I do get manic though and can totally relate to feeling too good...I also can well up from music. Phish's music can get me teary, but never from words...only from deep improvisation. More than teary it will make me feel elated. I won't watch that show This is Us because it makes me cry every damn time I watch it and I'm not really a fan of being sad and crying.

if the site would stop dragging its feet to load on me, i would do a better job of not not posting