Dear Behndy, (a place for advice)

[Psyre]

Behndy,

When one is getting a hand job (or simply hand j as we call thema round my house), what is the best/cleanest way to "blow it" if you don't want it getting on the girl this specific time? When I was younger I figured a cup was a good idea, but somehow it ended up getting in her ear that time, so probably no cups anymore. Obviously this is not the ideal solution, but sometimes you just don't want to get messy.

[Joe Gress]

ADELLE, PUT YOUR TITTY UP.

NSFW: show

[sonidero]

So last night I had a dream that started off in some kind of huge building that's a cross between Grand Central Station and a high end boutique mall... I've been to this place several times before in dreams and sometimes I have luggage and sometimes I'm just wondering around looking at stores... In this dream I was carrying a big duffel bag that had my "recording equipment" in it and looking for my ride... I found a guy with a sign that had my ILF name on it and he told me "Right this way, He is waiting" so I followed him out to the curb which was like an airport pick up zone... Waiting in a big red GMC pickup was - Behndy... He put my bag up front and told me his pet was riding shotgun so get I should get in the back and ride in the bed... We started off on our way to Hayward which is where Behndy's place was and crossed the Bay Bridge the wrong way (east to west) while he yelled random questions and small talk through the small sliding window... Shortly after we passed the Mega Ikea and took an exit that was one of the big clover leaf kinds we were suddenly in front of a small dirt road that was leading up to the compound... I jumped out and opened the gate and got the mail and we drove up the dirt road towards the big hillside that Hayward backs up to... We got to Behndy's place which was one of several warehouse/office/studio type buildings that were all connected... We went into the first one and headed strait to the kitchen where B had some kind of de-ionized water collection device he had made and wanted me to drink it in a shared glass thing that looked like one of those helix bubblers but it had two glass straws coming off of it, I was supposed to take a hit of the water... After we hit some water I looked around the kitchen and noticed that everything was from the 70's or earlier and was either in it's original box or there were multiples of them... I guess I was making a face cause B said his hobby was collecting old kitchen knick-nacks and he had bought most of them off ebay 10 years ago and was stockpiling them for the end times... The kitchen had a couple of steps to the right which led up to a little alcove that was just big enough for a queen sized bed, it had beads you could close to hide the bed but they were tied up with thick gold ropes like you'd see on old curtains... The left wall of the alcove/Behndy's room had all his vintage super hero/band/comic t-shirts hanging on a rod with a big blueish tie dyed blanket covering them, the other walls had old black velvet black light posters... When I turned around there was a tour going through the house and people were looking at all the kitchen stuff and tisking this and that and saying the boy must not have any clothes cause they couldn't see any behind the tie dyed hanging... Behndy was gone so I passed through the kitchen to the back area which was a huge open warehouse/playroom area with a big mostly glass garage type door on one wall like they have at fire stations and a bunch of random crap everywhere like you'd see on an episode of American Pickers... There were two twin sized beds with a nightstand in the middle facing the garage door and B was asleep on the right one, he said "that one's yours" and rolled over... It was still light out and I wasn't tired so I lay on top on the covers and just stared out the garage door for awhile, I started to doze off when someone in a High School Mascot looking Cougar outfit came tip toeing in through a door that was on the side on the garage door... They made the shhh sign and crept up on Behndy and started growling, he woke up yelling about "not again I told you he doesn't know our story" and the guy took off his the head and sat on the edge of the bed and put his head on my shoulder all sad... I found out it was a neighbor who was Behndy's "gay" friend but it was Neil Patrick Harris with red hair... B said lets go eat and we went back into the kitchen to eat some Corn Pops out of vintage Kellogs cereal bowls, this is when I noticed that B had cut all his hair and it was a small tight red afro kinda like Carrot Top when he has short hair... I asked what the tour was and B said he couldn't keep all his fans away so he let them tour the house and charged them a fee which went for food for his pet... I looked under the table and Behndy was petting what looked like a cross between a Mogwai and a Wombat but it could talk like a two year old... B said "I have to get back to work" and got up and went to some other part of the house so I went back into the playroom area to unpack my "recording equipment"... When I got there the Cougar was gone but there were some older guys (which I recognize from Austin) milling around and smiling a lot... When they saw my gear they got all excited and told me how lucky I was to be working with a genius like Behndy and they wished they could work with him too but they were happy enough being neighbors and getting to hear his music and watch his plays anytime they wanted... I told them I should get started recording and went to look for B... I wondered down some hallway that was in the back of the playroom and found the room that Behndy has posted on his yt vids and there he was at the computer with ILF on the screen and his head down asleep again... I went over and started shaking his shoulder and said "get up man it's time to record your bass parts for the score, they'll be here soon"??? Behndy just started waving his arm around like he was swatting at flies and mumbling something about "give her more money and she'll go away"... I tried shaking his shoulder again but then I saw the Dingwall and pedal board already hooked up to the amp and as soon as I strapped it on and turned on all the pedals I stood back and went to hit and evil open strum and right then I woke up... 10 seconds later my 5:30 alarm went off and I had to go to work...

There is more detail but you get the drift...

What does it mean Behndy???

[jrmy]

What does it mean Behndy???

It means that your third eye is opened, and you've achieved true enlightenment.

[behndy]

it means that.......

01) your subconscious's image of my life makes me jealous.

02) i need to see if my old guy neighbor is into being my Sechsy Number 2 and can unzip and reveal a beautiful Neil Patrick'esque Interior.

03) i want to live in the "give her more money and she'll go away" world for a bit to see where that goes.

[snipelfritz]

I like how sleeping is a common theme in your dream. Thinking about sleep when you're already asleep.

Also, lol at the part with the cougar sneaking up.

[sonidero]

I like how sleeping is a common theme in your dream. Thinking about sleep when you're already asleep.

Also, lol at the part with the cougar sneaking up.

I always dream about sleeping and sometimes I go to sleep in a dream and dream again...

it means that.......

01) your subconscious's image of my life makes me jealous.

02) i need to see if my old guy neighbor is into being my Sechsy Number 2 and can unzip and reveal a beautiful Neil Patrick'esque Interior.

03) i want to live in the "give her more money and she'll go away" world for a bit to see where that goes.

Yeah probably.... That was the short version... There was a lot more detail; you showed me how you designed and built the water machine, we checked out some of the t-shirts, and we went through some of the stuff in the warehouse/playroom trying to decide what to use in your multimedia play I was there to record for you... Weird...

[phantasmagorovich]

Dear Behndy,


1, Do you think I would get banned if I put sonideros dream in my signature?
3, Will _it_ ever end or at least move onto a different level?


Yours Phanta S. Magorovich,
459 Dirella Street, San Francisco, CA

[behndy]

q) i think it's worth the risk of a dressing down from Thom In Charge. hell.... if you get one, forward it to me. i get a little moist at the thought.

1217x9) depends what we're talking about? life bits? i'm not really sure if i believe secularly or non-secularly. i hope there's something else? and it is a field of nude things to romp through?

oof. man i HOPE so. kinda curious where we all go. be neat to find someone that can share what's on the other side.

[phantasmagorovich]

Your signature contains 6372 characters. The maximum number of allowed characters is 500.

[behndy]

lol. DAMN YOU PREVENTIVE THOMMY!!!

[Chankgeez]

Damn, why can't I have cougars sneaking up on me?