It’s back from the dead! The TB Mega Thread.

[MSUsousaphone]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit
The elusive SNAX were rarely, if
Ever, seen near the Big Water. The
Bean flickers were very careful to not
Let just anyone know of the SNAX stash
Slowly twisted, fucked and fisted
Slowly he withdrew
Slow we raise the rainbow sail on
the rainbow douchecanoe

Then enters ex King Cane
Charged to protect the raw cookies fair
"WHAT theeee fudgesicle did I just walk into" he dismays
As he fixes Captain Behndy's rigid Behnder with a glare

[Eric!]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit
The elusive SNAX were rarely, if
Ever, seen near the Big Water. The
Bean flickers were very careful to not
Let just anyone know of the SNAX stash
Slowly twisted, fucked and fisted
Slowly he withdrew
Slow we raise the rainbow sail on
the rainbow douchecanoe

Then enters ex King Cane
Charged to protect the raw cookies fair
"WHAT theeee fudgesicle did I just walk into" he dismays
As he fixes Captain Behndy's rigid Behnder with a glare

der Behn-dehrz vas so elated
To happen upon one of the last remaining fuzz-hoarders
They gabbed about death while their fishin' rods were baited
And then cast into the waters, seeking tentacles to let roam south of their borders

[excane]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit
The elusive SNAX were rarely, if
Ever, seen near the Big Water. The
Bean flickers were very careful to not
Let just anyone know of the SNAX stash
Slowly twisted, fucked and fisted
Slowly he withdrew
Slow we raise the rainbow sail on
the rainbow douchecanoe

Then enters ex King Cane
Charged to protect the raw cookies fair
"WHAT theeee fudgesicle did I just walk into" he dismays
As he fixes Captain Behndy's rigid Behnder with a glare

Now I don't mind....this is GOLD.

[Waterpilot]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit
The elusive SNAX were rarely, if
Ever, seen near the Big Water. The
Bean flickers were very careful to not
Let just anyone know of the SNAX stash
Slowly twisted, fucked and fisted
Slowly he withdrew
Slow we raise the rainbow sail on
the rainbow douchecanoe
Then enters ex King Cane
Charged to protect the raw cookies fair
"WHAT theeee fudgesicle did I just walk into" he dismays
As he fixes Captain Behndy's rigid Behnder with a glare
der Behn-dehrz vas so elated
To happen upon one of the last remaining fuzz-hoarders
They gabbed about death while their fishin' rods were baited
And then cast into the waters, seeking tentacles to let roam south of their borders

...the sun reddens their shoulders
their rods inches apart
tales of cookies, fuzz and tentacles
danced slowly in their hearts...

[MSUsousaphone]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit
The elusive SNAX were rarely, if
Ever, seen near the Big Water. The
Bean flickers were very careful to not
Let just anyone know of the SNAX stash
Slowly twisted, fucked and fisted
Slowly he withdrew
Slow we raise the rainbow sail on
the rainbow douchecanoe
Then enters ex King Cane
Charged to protect the raw cookies fair
"WHAT theeee fudgesicle did I just walk into" he dismays
As he fixes Captain Behndy's rigid Behnder with a glare
der Behn-dehrz vas so elated
To happen upon one of the last remaining fuzz-hoarders
They gabbed about death while their fishin' rods were baited
And then cast into the waters, seeking tentacles to let roam south of their borders
...the sun reddens their shoulders
their rods inches apart
tales of cookies, fuzz and tentacles
danced slowly in their hearts...

The tensions mount, the days beyond count
Their hearts were all a flutter
Cookies long forgotten wither in the sun
As ex King Cole tried to make sense of Captain Behndy's stutter

[snipelfritz]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit
The elusive SNAX were rarely, if
Ever, seen near the Big Water. The
Bean flickers were very careful to not
Let just anyone know of the SNAX stash
Slowly twisted, fucked and fisted
Slowly he withdrew
Slow we raise the rainbow sail on
the rainbow douchecanoe
Then enters ex King Cane
Charged to protect the raw cookies fair
"WHAT theeee fudgesicle did I just walk into" he dismays
As he fixes Captain Behndy's rigid Behnder with a glare
der Behn-dehrz vas so elated
To happen upon one of the last remaining fuzz-hoarders
They gabbed about death while their fishin' rods were baited
And then cast into the waters, seeking tentacles to let roam south of their borders
the sun reddens their shoulders
their rods inches apart
tales of cookies, fuzz and tentacles
danced slowly in their hearts
The tensions mount, the days beyond count
Their hearts were all a flutter
Cookies long forgotten wither in the sun
As ex King Cole tried to make sense of Captain Behndy's stutter

Then without moments notice
and without warning's start
Behndy's bender bended forward
punch'd King Cane through the heart

Through not without surprise
and bleeding out his torso
"You must be the true king of SNAX"
said Excane and died as so

[Waterpilot]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit
The elusive SNAX were rarely, if
Ever, seen near the Big Water. The
Bean flickers were very careful to not
Let just anyone know of the SNAX stash
Slowly twisted, fucked and fisted
Slowly he withdrew
Slow we raise the rainbow sail on
the rainbow douchecanoe
Then enters ex King Cane
Charged to protect the raw cookies fair
"WHAT theeee fudgesicle did I just walk into" he dismays
As he fixes Captain Behndy's rigid Behnder with a glare
der Behn-dehrz vas so elated
To happen upon one of the last remaining fuzz-hoarders
They gabbed about death while their fishin' rods were baited
And then cast into the waters, seeking tentacles to let roam south of their borders
the sun reddens their shoulders
their rods inches apart
tales of cookies, fuzz and tentacles
danced slowly in their hearts
The tensions mount, the days beyond count
Their hearts were all a flutter
Cookies long forgotten wither in the sun
As ex King Cole tried to make sense of Captain Behndy's stutter
Then without moments notice
and without warning's start
Behndy's bender bended forward
punch'd King Cane through the heart
Through not without surprise
and bleeding out his torso
"You must be the true king of SNAX"
said Excane and died as so

"GOLD!", King Cane exclaimed
His soul buring bright
Excane is power now
in a douchecanoe he takes flight

[behndy]

lol. that is truly epic. in the appropriate use of the word epic. i giggled, then i laughed, then i was saddened, then i felt a warm flushy glowing feeling, then i laughed again.

i love each and every one of you. so HARD.

*whisperd*

MURRRRDER HARD.

[alexa.]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit
The elusive SNAX were rarely, if
Ever, seen near the Big Water. The
Bean flickers were very careful to not
Let just anyone know of the SNAX stash
Slowly twisted, fucked and fisted
Slowly he withdrew
Slow we raise the rainbow sail on
the rainbow douchecanoe
Then enters ex King Cane
Charged to protect the raw cookies fair
"WHAT theeee fudgesicle did I just walk into" he dismays
As he fixes Captain Behndy's rigid Behnder with a glare
der Behn-dehrz vas so elated
To happen upon one of the last remaining fuzz-hoarders
They gabbed about death while their fishin' rods were baited
And then cast into the waters, seeking tentacles to let roam south of their borders
the sun reddens their shoulders
their rods inches apart
tales of cookies, fuzz and tentacles
danced slowly in their hearts
The tensions mount, the days beyond count
Their hearts were all a flutter
Cookies long forgotten wither in the sun
As ex King Cole tried to make sense of Captain Behndy's stutter
Then without moments notice
and without warning's start
Behndy's bender bended forward
punch'd King Cane through the heart
Through not without surprise
and bleeding out his torso
"You must be the true king of SNAX"
said Excane and died as so

"GOLD!", King Cane exclaimed
His soul buring bright
Excane is power now
in a douchecanoe he takes flight

existing beyond life and death
the good ex King Cane flies and knowledge spreads
of the new snax tentacle king
who ponies worship and to whom satan sings

[TroySanders]

Douchecanoe, Douchecanoe, stallion at sea
together we dance a douche-jubilee
Douchecanoe, Douchecanoe, forever adrift
forever the pleasure, the douchecano gift

[MSUsousaphone]

Fin

[Jero]

So glad I decided to check this thread today

[Eric!]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit
The elusive SNAX were rarely, if
Ever, seen near the Big Water. The
Bean flickers were very careful to not
Let just anyone know of the SNAX stash
Slowly twisted, fucked and fisted
Slowly he withdrew
Slow we raise the rainbow sail on
the rainbow douchecanoe

Then enters ex King Cane
Charged to protect the raw cookies fair
"WHAT theeee fudgesicle did I just walk into" he dismays
As he fixes Captain Behndy's rigid Behnder with a glare
der Behn-dehrz vas so elated
To happen upon one of the last remaining fuzz-hoarders
They gabbed about death while their fishin' rods were baited
And then cast into the waters, seeking tentacles to let roam south of their borders
the sun reddens their shoulders
their rods inches apart
tales of cookies, fuzz and tentacles
danced slowly in their hearts
The tensions mount, the days beyond count
Their hearts were all a flutter
Cookies long forgotten wither in the sun
As ex King Cole tried to make sense of Captain Behndy's stutter
Then without moments notice
and without warning's start
Behndy's bender bended forward
punch'd King Cane through the heart
Through not without surprise
and bleeding out his torso
"You must be the true king of SNAX"
said Excane and died as so
"GOLD!", King Cane exclaimed
His soul buring bright
Excane is power now
in a douchecanoe he takes flight
existing beyond life and death
the good ex King Cane flies and knowledge spreads
of the new snax tentacle king
who ponies worship and to whom satan sings

Douchecanoe, Douchecanoe, stallion at sea
together we dance a douche-jubilee
Douchecanoe, Douchecanoe, forever adrift
forever the pleasure, the douchecano gift

Fin.

[snipelfritz]

D'awww, I was kind of hoping for a giant volcano that spewed snacks everywhere called the douchecano.

[Eric!]

D'awww, I was kind of hoping for a giant volcano that spewed snacks everywhere called the douchecano.

We don't want it to drag ass. There shall be more. THE CURSE OF THE DOUCHECANO.