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everyone so far wrote:...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder

everyone so far wrote:...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties

everyone so far wrote:...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies

Waterpilot wrote:Maybe we all should take turns writing a line to an ILF poem called "Douchecanoe."

dubkitty wrote:it'd better be in the style of "Hiawatha." or "Evangeline," or some of that other Longfellow shit. we're gonna need long lines with high syllable counts. and that'll allow us to work in lots of canoes.

everyone so far wrote:...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit