It’s back from the dead! The TB Mega Thread.

[dubkitty]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecanoe...

[Waterpilot]

...winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe...

[MSUsousaphone]

...though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed...

[Deltaphoenix]

while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe

[behndy]

you guys ae NEAT.

[MSUsousaphone]

"you guys ae NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder

[My name is Mudd]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder

While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties

[Waterpilot]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties

The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies

[Eric!]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies

it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit

[behndy]

mad lulz.

(i'm an uneducated philistine concerning poetry, no attempt will be made)

[excane]

WHAT theeee fudgesicle did I just walk into

[My name is Mudd]

Despite the resemblance to a 7th grade remedial English class, it's actually about...

Maybe we all should take turns writing a line to an ILF poem called "Douchecanoe."

it'd better be in the style of "Hiawatha." or "Evangeline," or some of that other Longfellow shit. we're gonna need long lines with high syllable counts. and that'll allow us to work in lots of canoes.

[My name is Mudd]

...by the mighty Mississippi
where the broad-armed maples grew
once-fair maidens speak in whispers
of the days of Douchecano
winds across the prairies
fought morning's hearty dew
silence echos loudly
of the days of Douchecanoe
though oft mistaken for a douchecano
like Bono or JimmyM
the Douchecanoe was highly mobile
majestic waters skimmed
while the once-fair maidens now at the riverside
waiting patiently for one more view,
they come alive quickly, flicking their beans frantically
As they spot Captain Behndy prancing on the douchecanoe.
"You guys are NEAT."
he shouts, not caring for gender
for no sex, creed, race, or steed
can tame the voraciousness of Captain Behndy's Behnder
While canoes of douche ply the waters
The noble craft, as always,
Steer straight and true towards
The bean-flicking (and soiled) native hotties
The murky shores beckon
the wild eyed rookie
as the mighty douchecanoe steers
toward the plethora of cookies
it had, but one mission:
the douchecanoe was purely made
to seek out, with exact precision
SNAX. like...cookies and lemonade and shit

The elusive SNAX were rarely, if
Ever, seen near the Big Water. The
Bean flickers were very careful to not
Let just anyone know of the SNAX stash

[Bassboar]

That there is an epic poem.
Enlish was never my strong point.

[TroySanders]

Slowly twisted, fucked and fisted
Slowly he withdrew
Slow we raise the rainbow sail on
the rainbow douchecanoe