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Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 9:53 pm
by KaosCill8r
PetZounds wrote:Man, I have a D.
And it's like "Woah, this thing is really weird."
"It's all pointy and yucky-looking."
"Why would any girl want this?"
I guess it really is all about presentation.
Maybe a little top hat and a nice tux would make him more presentable.
A nice buff and polish would do it some good.
Maybe even just some ribbon and tinsel.
Festive shit, like christmas lights.
I think it works both ways. Like seriously dude, the vag is one ugly, hairy, smelly piece of soggy meat. Yet we would probably scale the dizzying heights of mount Everest if one was waiting for us up there.
And if I just asked the missus if she wanted some D, she would look at me strange. But only because normally I just come straight out with " wanna root". Works every time. Even when the red baron has flown into town we just use snooker rules. If the red is blocking the pink then you pot the brown.
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 10:39 pm
by Achtane
KaosCill8r wrote:PetZounds wrote:Man, I have a D.
And it's like "Woah, this thing is really weird."
"It's all pointy and yucky-looking."
"Why would any girl want this?"
I guess it really is all about presentation.
Maybe a little top hat and a nice tux would make him more presentable.
A nice buff and polish would do it some good.
Maybe even just some ribbon and tinsel.
Festive shit, like christmas lights.
Like seriously dude, the vag is one ugly, hairy, smelly piece of soggy meat.
I prefer the term, "bologna flower".
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 5:23 am
by snipelfritz
I'm waiting until I get a better job before I post in the "what do you do for a living lounge" thread.
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 1:02 pm
by chuckjaywalk
Because of my Borderline Personality Disorder, I am highly suggestible and I lack a strong sense of identity. I am easy to manipulate. Almost every part of my personality, Hell, my life, is something I picked up from other people. I listen to metal because a friend of mine listened to metal. I eat almonds because the guy who sits next to me eats them. I'm a shapeshifter who gets stuck with little pieces of the people I meet. I pick up affectations and habits. I don't have any idea who I really am.
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:01 pm
by dubkitty
i hear you. my handwriting is based on that of a friend from high school days. yes, i'm that bad.
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:15 pm
by skullservant
Iommic Pope wrote:It's ok man, it gets better.
I'll confess, when we were going through that phase a while back, I would've killed to have gotten that sort of attention from a girl in her early 20s.
I wouldn't have acted on it, I love my wife, regardless of how much she pisses me off. But just to know you still got it and, as you said, someone is interested, goes a long way in satiating your man ego when your life partner has gone off active duties in that department.
Don't stress about it. I'd say you spilled your guts to her due to a bio-sexual urge to procreate with as wide a genetic field as possible, now that you know you can do it successfully with good results. Its perfectly natural.
Just don't think with your dick again.
Not to beat a dead horse, but THIS all the way. All of it.
Iommic Pope wrote:I feel like an old man saying this, but there have been a few girls come through my work place in their 20s that put out that vibe, and it kinda freaks me out. Shit seems crazy to me because I never got that shit from women when I was that age. Maybe it's because I'm "the older" guy now, maybe it's because I was drunk/stoned throughout my 20s.....it's still kinda strange to me.
But not entirely unwelcome. In tiny, harmless doses that don't tear my family apart.
I'm in that phase of being freaked out when any other woman other than my wife does anything out of the ordinary directed towards me. It's as bad as a girl at a restaurant handing me change and cupping her hand under mine to make sure no change fell out. I even jumped.
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:34 pm
by neonblack
Yeah, I cant play it cool to save my life. She can tell that I get flustered and I think she thinks its funny.
And my wife is so tired and stressed all the time from having a 2 year old dragging her around all day that being flirty or affectionate is pretty low on the list of priorities at the moment, so the flirty attention from this girl is a bit of a shock. Ive worked with her a few more times and its more friendly and less overtly flirty so that's good. Less awkwardness all around.
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:37 pm
by neonblack
I will add that taking my kid to the grocery store or something, just son and dad, is like a uterus magnet. We just walk around giving all the ladies baby fever. That's a pretty fun experience, watching all the women swoon. I know it has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with my cute kid, but it's still fun.
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:40 pm
by skullservant
Hahhaha I know that feel of not being able to really play it cool. I used to be able to but not since I got married.
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:42 pm
by neonblack
"Do you play an instrument?"
"Yeah, bass."
"oh, I bet you're good with your fingers" *coy look*
"Er, um, well... I play with a pick"
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:46 pm
by skullservant
oh gosh......
I don't even know how I'd react if someone tried flirting with me nowadays. I used to be able to shrug it off pretty easily but now I'd probably just get that awkward deer in headlights type look
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:48 pm
by Chankgeez
neonblack wrote:"oh, I bet you're good with your fingers" *coy look*
Fingerstylists Make Better Lovers
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:50 pm
by dubkitty
if someone started flirting with me these days i'd die from shock.
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:54 pm
by neonblack
Chankgeez wrote:neonblack wrote:"oh, I bet you're good with your fingers" *coy look*
Fingerstylists Make Better Lovers
I have no clever response. You have bested me.
I was gonna make a joke about tremolo picking, or really digging in, but it seems likely that I'll cross the line into bad taste.
A girl asked me recently what a bass was (I KNOW.) and I said "think of your favorite song. You know the part that makes you want to shake your ass? That's the bass."
Re: The Confessions Thread
Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 5:00 pm
by Chankgeez
I thought that was the cowbell.