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IEatCats wrote:I mean, I accept that it's how I am, I just don't like it. I'm not sure why.

It might have something to do with some fucked up repressed childhood shit, but I'm not sure.

Tell me about it. But then again, yesterday I found out how much I was outside the frames of my thought forms and how much more I really was.
The problem is, those thought forms still limit me in a way, and yes, they mostly are there cuz we learned them in one point of our lives. Didn't
have to be a trauma, it could have just been a survival reflex. Cuz when we're younger, we actually scan for behavior that helps people get by in
certain situations and adopt it without knowing the whole picture, and that leads us to where we are now.

But hey, if it were such a problem, we could never evolve. So I just started looking at everything in life as a lesson.
Even tho I AM emo at times, I don't really want to be. I'm just finding out the reasons why this is so and changing them.
Writing down your thoughts makes it easier.
Also, the only thing that will let you know you changed is that you start reacting differently in the same situations you had before. That one motivates me a lot.

I'm not even done with my first week of school and I already hate this semester.

This will be the longest day ever. Part One of six: drop mommy off at the airport is completed.

So much negativity in my twitter feed lately. I've started a new account and I'm taking a hiatus to from my main account just to get away from it.

Tomorrow night a friend of mine is hosting a murder mystery dinner for his birthday, and I can't go because I have pneumonia

I'm having one of those days where all these little things are piling up and causing an avalanche of helplessness. What's at stake really isn't all that bad (showing up to the first day of a lab without the lab book), but it's just annoying how many inconveniences are working against me (having lost my wallet last month, not getting a new debit card in the mail even though it should have showed up a week ago, having to drive my mom to the airport this morning with little warning then running to class without an opportunity to stop at the bank, not having the cash/debit card to pay $10 to get a replacement student ID, not having the student ID to charge the book to my student account).

Like I said, it's just going to result in some minor embarrassment, but it's just one of those things that makes you feel like giving up, going home, getting in bed and watching something stupid on hulu for the next 48 hours

Oh, and I got 3 hours of sleep and feel like shit in general, and I only have $1 which means I can buy/eat one granola bar for a 14 hour day.

When I get sick, my tolerance for bullshit drops to next to nothing. I am sick. I have been so incredibly irritable today it's not funny.

sometimes it's really hard to not buy really cheap pedals even though i know i would do better off saving up and buying nicer ones. I KNOW I KNOW, I SHOULD SAVE UP OR TRADE UP BUT I JUST CAN''''TTTT. i'm going to be queen of cheap chinese clones one day.

unownunown wrote: i'm going to be queen of cheap chinese clones one day.

this statement has some wild non-pedal-related implications.

unownunown wrote:sometimes it's really hard to not buy really cheap pedals even though i know i would do better off saving up and buying nicer ones. I KNOW I KNOW, I SHOULD SAVE UP OR TRADE UP BUT I JUST CAN''''TTTT. i'm going to be queen of cheap chinese clones one day.

As someone who makes barely any money, I feel your pain.

I just want to leap in front of the desk yelling "Kill! Kill!"

snipelfritz wrote:I'm having one of those days where all these little things are piling up and causing an avalanche of helplessness. What's at stake really isn't all that bad (showing up to the first day of a lab without the lab book), but it's just annoying how many inconveniences are working against me (having lost my wallet last month, not getting a new debit card in the mail even though it should have showed up a week ago, having to drive my mom to the airport this morning with little warning then running to class without an opportunity to stop at the bank, not having the cash/debit card to pay $10 to get a replacement student ID, not having the student ID to charge the book to my student account).

Like I said, it's just going to result in some minor embarrassment, but it's just one of those things that makes you feel like giving up, going home, getting in bed and watching something stupid on hulu for the next 48 hours

Oh, and I got 3 hours of sleep and feel like shit in general, and I only have $1 which means I can buy/eat
one granola bar for a 14 hour day.

Skip class. Get high. Grim adv. of billy and mandy. Nap. Pussy. Taco bell.

Sorted.

SPACERITUAL wrote:

snipelfritz wrote:I'm having one of those days where all these little things are piling up and causing an avalanche of helplessness. What's at stake really isn't all that bad (showing up to the first day of a lab without the lab book), but it's just annoying how many inconveniences are working against me (having lost my wallet last month, not getting a new debit card in the mail even though it should have showed up a week ago, having to drive my mom to the airport this morning with little warning then running to class without an opportunity to stop at the bank, not having the cash/debit card to pay $10 to get a replacement student ID, not having the student ID to charge the book to my student account).

Like I said, it's just going to result in some minor embarrassment, but it's just one of those things that makes you feel like giving up, going home, getting in bed and watching something stupid on hulu for the next 48 hours

Oh, and I got 3 hours of sleep and feel like shit in general, and I only have $1 which means I can buy/eat
one granola bar for a 14 hour day.

Skip class. Get high. Grim adv. of billy and mandy. Nap. Pussy. Taco bell.

Sorted.

Meh, too late. Only an hour of school left. Sadly I have no weed, but I think new Delocated is on! As for pussy and t-bell, I've actually had enough of them for a little while more or less. I mean, I don't feel like going to all the trouble involved, and like I said, I don't have any cash. But if it just fell into my lap I'd devour that shit (yes I'm still talking about both).

i think the woman who was e-mailing me isn't writing me any more. i spent the last ten years stuck in a house with a crazy woman, and now i don't even know how to talk to people any more. not that it makes any difference...nobody fuckin' wants me.

dubkitty wrote:i think the woman who was e-mailing me isn't writing me any more. i spent the last ten years stuck in a house with a crazy woman, and now i don't even know how to talk to people any more. not that it makes any difference...nobody fuckin' wants me.