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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:11 am
by Psyre
IEatCats:

I'll definitely keep you in my thoughts man, I have been struggling with anxiety for almost 3 years now. Tried 3 different meds but I couldn't handle the side effects. I have been quite happy with my improvement over the past 6 months. Like Dub said, take deep breathes and just slow down living. Focus on one thing at a time, if you have a hard time getting overwhelmed, one thing that helped me was living on lists instead of trying to keep it all active and organized in your head. Living can be so simple, we all get caught up complicating it.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:33 am
by Scruffie
I keep waking up horribly disorientated (can't walk or think properly for 5-10 minutes) after vivid dreams of loved ones dying by being sucked through windows after somehow water on a second floor pulled them out, waves bash on the windows and smash them in and the wave that makes it in puls them out, i'd normally ignore this but it's getting worse and I keep waking up sweating with tears on my face but I can't figure the fucking dream out, any of you guys got a theory?

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:38 am
by snipelfritz
Scruffie wrote:I keep waking up horribly disorientated (can't walk or think properly for 5-10 minutes) after vivid dreams of loved ones dying by being sucked through windows after somehow water on a second floor pulled them out, waves bash on the windows and smash them in and the wave that makes it in puls them out, i'd normally ignore this but it's getting worse and I keep waking up sweating with tears on my face but I can't figure the fucking dream out, any of you guys got a theory?

Don't drink so much water before bed?

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:41 am
by dubkitty
hard to say without more of an idea of what's going on in the dream. is it the same people every time? in the same place? what is that place? do you recognize it? the UK is unlikely enough of a tsunami target that i'm going to go out on a limb and say that it probably isn't precognitive dreaming unless you have relatives somewhere in Oceania or South Asia.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:41 am
by IEatCats
I really appreciate the comments guys. This is basically what I try doing, but it's really hard to shake the feeling of being watched some nights.

I need to calm down enough that I can meditate. I've been meaning to meditate and read more, hoping it'll help ground me. Maybe cleaning my fucking room would help too.

WEEKEND PROJECTS!

@Scruffie: Dreams of drowning usually represent feelings of helplessness. The fact that it's loved ones could mean that you're afraid of losing them to something outside of your control. The second floor could mean that you're in a secure place in your life, and the water is a worry that seems irrational. The second floor could also represent a large change in your life, some kind of "coming of age" type of thing, which could be contributing to the worry, or "waves".

That's an armchair analysis, though. I like dreams.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:45 am
by dubkitty
i've been having series of weird dreams set in unknown locations involving family members in recent months that often were very disconcerting and upsetting, particularly when they involved my deceased parents. the dreams have similar events happening, but the events advance along the time arc so the dreams overlap with each ending a little farther along and all the uncomfortable preceding bits repeated. i much prefer it when i have one nightmare and it gets the fuck over with.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:49 am
by IEatCats
Weird. My dreams are always scattered, but seem to be really long, like, I don't have more than one dream per night. It could be because of my lack of regular or extended sleep, that I just stay in REM because my body needs a full night of that to recover as best it can. I've had dreams before that are entire weeks or months before. Fuckin' weird, realizing that the last couple days never happened.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:57 am
by dubkitty
i didn't put that well. what i meant is that over several nights, even a couple of weeks, i'll have versions of the same creepy dream every night, similar to what Scruffie is describing. mine often seem to be of Wagnerian length nowadays, but i know i'm not sleeping through the night so they can't be going on for more than two or three hours at most.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:03 am
by Scruffie
snipelfritz wrote:
Scruffie wrote:I keep waking up horribly disorientated (can't walk or think properly for 5-10 minutes) after vivid dreams of loved ones dying by being sucked through windows after somehow water on a second floor pulled them out, waves bash on the windows and smash them in and the wave that makes it in puls them out, i'd normally ignore this but it's getting worse and I keep waking up sweating with tears on my face but I can't figure the fucking dream out, any of you guys got a theory?

Don't drink so much water before bed?

Lol it's not a pissing dream, this is in like two hour naps.
dubkitty wrote:hard to say without more of an idea of what's going on in the dream. is it the same people every time? in the same place? what is that place? do you recognize it? the UK is unlikely enough of a tsunami target that i'm going to go out on a limb and say that it probably isn't precognitive dreaming unless you have relatives somewhere in Oceania or South Asia.

Okay, this first happened about 6 months back and I figured it was a one off but the reccuring water dragging someone out a window now makes me think otherwise.
First time it was my mum, we were in our holiday cottage which is right by the sea (it was reversed layout wise inside for some reason) first I saw cars outside getting dragged in and the water was coming over the barrier that's there to stop flooding then she was on the sofa and the water smashed the water and pulled her in without a glance and my dad turned to me and said she's gone.
The most recent one I didn't recognise, it was some weird deserty landscape, not a memory... there was a weird prelude too involving me loosing my phone in the local park near where I live but it was deserty.
In this one the water came up to the second floor of whatever house this was and smashed in every window upstairs and down, I woke my dad up and he moved out the way but a girl I had a fling with was trapped in a room banging on a door while I stepped away as the water came in then she stopped banging and I woke up.
Nothing to do with flooding, never had floods bad like this in my life
This does coincide with what happened to me last year though when I lost my dog, my life (my parents sold my house without telling me so I was left homeless) and having to live alone.
I'm sure it has a meaning, I just have to break it as its fucking me up.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:10 am
by Scruffie
IEatCats wrote:I really appreciate the comments guys. This is basically what I try doing, but it's really hard to shake the feeling of being watched some nights.

I need to calm down enough that I can meditate. I've been meaning to meditate and read more, hoping it'll help ground me. Maybe cleaning my fucking room would help too.

WEEKEND PROJECTS!

@Scruffie: Dreams of drowning usually represent feelings of helplessness. The fact that it's loved ones could mean that you're afraid of losing them to something outside of your control. The second floor could mean that you're in a secure place in your life, and the water is a worry that seems irrational. The second floor could also represent a large change in your life, some kind of "coming of age" type of thing, which could be contributing to the worry, or "waves".

That's an armchair analysis, though. I like dreams.

Arm chair analisis is what I need, I can do it for other people, but not myself, as I imgine my brain is hardwired to forget.

The second floor worry makes sense for the current one but not the previous, i'm certainly worried and I miss my parents but it doesn't add up...

Loosing them outside of my control though does, I lost probably my best friend as she just got a boyfriend, now we never talk or meet while before we were very close...

I wont say this lightly but i'm legitametly scared to sleep, my dreams have become so vivid and fear so real it's actually unpleasent to rest, I can't afford any more pill prescriptions either... I've not had this since I was a child.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:14 am
by dubkitty
the cheap and relatively obvious analysis is that you feel overwhelmed by the, erm, onrush of life events, with the secondary indication that you feel really connected to your father (he's the person who's always there in the dreams, yes?). if i was going to try to derive a "what should i do?" from this it would be to talk with/get together with your father, perhaps to talk about how this part of life of life is heavy and to try and get some perspective from him.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:18 am
by Scruffie
dubkitty wrote:the cheap and relatively obvious analysis is that you feel overwhelmed by the, erm, onrush of life events, with the secondary indication that you feel really connected to your father (he's the person who's always there in the dreams, yes?). if i was going to try to derive a "what should i do?" from this it would be to talk with/get together with your father, perhaps to talk about how this part of life of life is heavy and to try and get some perspective from him.

Sadly i'm not connected to him (not that I mean we have a bad relationship, we get on well), nor do I feel a subconcious need to be, it's not my parents that's the worrying thing, it's these other people in the dreams that make the impact, family just seem to be there becuse they're regulars, stars of the show if you will cause I know them the best.

He was barely in both, cameos if you will haha.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:24 am
by dubkitty
well, there goes THAT theory. though it's possible your subconscious is telling you something you don't feel...that's why it's called the subconscious, after all. i'm still sticking with the flood = overwhelmed thing, though.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:33 am
by Scruffie
dubkitty wrote:well, there goes THAT theory. though it's possible your subconscious is telling you something you don't feel...that's why it's called the subconscious, after all. i'm still sticking with the flood = overwhelmed thing, though.

I get that, but in a way, I feel I know my subconcsious when it pops up, this is something else, something less obvious which is the problem, I know when I wanna talk to my parents and do, ignore the second floor, it was the first floor in the other dream, it's something to do with water smashing windows and dragging people out, but something that woud scare me and i'm not usually scared by dreams and its also not loosing people from my life...

The disorentation is what worries me, I feel awful during it and can't function, it may be withdrawl from prescription drugs (Valium, Zimofane & Mitofene).

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:43 am
by dubkitty
oh, yeah, that's definitely possible. going off Valium or other drugs in that class abruptly will fuck you right up. having to quit taking Ativan all at one was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life.