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$harkToootth wrote:Please post craigslist casual encounters stories...I am a sucker for sordid tales from the age of apps/internet...

Marquis De Sade has nothing on strangers from the internet...

These don't really live up to Marquis De Sade, but they definitely are why I stopped doing craigslist casual encounters. I've had four casual encounters from there. At best I had sex.

One time, I met this person at their house. We talked for a while, and we drank for a while. Then we started getting into it, when I started noticing a smell. I'm from a farming community, and one of the local farmers used to burn their dead pigs. This was the smell I smelled, but the window was open. So, I figured it had to be coming from outside (except we were nowhere near my hometown).

The more involved we got, the stronger the smell got, and the less I could blame it on the open window.... I had to leave, there was no way I could do anything where she smelled that bad. I couldn't tell her that was the reason why I was leaving. I told her I just felt too uncomfortable meeting up with someone like this online, and rode my bike ten miles back to my apartment with the bluest blue balls.


Another time I met this person at a bar. We had a few drinks, and went back to her place. She seemed to be completely covered in callouses. Her nipples were more calloused than my hands. She was also about three times bigger than me and liked to play rough.

About halfway through I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I got back the room was still dark, except now there was loud harmonic vibrating and several lights. She was using three dildos. We fooled around for a bit after that, but I left very shortly after.


The other two experiences were okay. The best part about the one was that she had a new kitten that wanted to be friends.

I didn't think women posted on Craigslist.

Since 01010111 opened up and I'm drunk right now... about 10 years ago were kind of a shit show time for me, i bartended at a divey bar then... but once met this gnarly crusty punk girl on craigslist. Several times I biked or drove from my place ~5 miles over to allston to this gross ass punk house she lived in. I'd basically show up, she'd be laying on her bed drinking PBR tall boys and smoking butts with empties everywhere as ash trays, we'd do the deed and I'd either bail after or pass out and wake up later and bail..... I don't think she'd showered in long awhile

Same person but one time we were going at it and I hear from the hallway someone singing "I'm gonnnnnnaa get my dick suckkkkeddd" they opened the door, saw us in action, said " never mind", shut the door and left like nothing happened.

neonblack wrote:I didn't think women posted on Craigslist.

I got lots of offers from weird dudes whenever I posted. They always wanted to suck me off while I watched porn.

The best ad I read was from someone claiming to be an alien and wanting to meet in the woods.

^ +1 on the dudes

imJonWain wrote: Same person but one time we were going at it and I hear from the hallway someone singing "I'm gonnnnnnaa get my dick suckkkkeddd" they opened the door, saw us in action, said " never mind", shut the door and left like nothing happened.

This thread just got it's groove back

Invisible Man wrote:

Iommic Pope wrote:

Invisible Man wrote:http://www.cliterature.org

Everything about that is classy.

Well it's a .org, so.

“I’m fisting your cute shaven pussy now” You say as we both watch your efforts.

Maybe this is why I've never really been into dirty talk. Every piece of advice boils down to "narrate the scene as it happens to the other person. It's hot, trust me."
Like they're unaware? In case she forgot that my entire hand is flailing about inside of her like a shipwrecked man adrift these past two score, desperately reaching for the last bit of food his shaky hands accidentally dropped into the sea? Like they're mentally incompetent? That could be entertaining...

Another thing I learned: when she's sick, giving her a sympathy card that says she needs to get well soon 'cause you're gonna slay that ass tomorrow?
Not a guarantee you're getting laid tomorrow!
Unbelievable, I know...

Did you just turn into Dan Harmon?

Achtane wrote:

Invisible Man wrote:

Iommic Pope wrote:

Invisible Man wrote:http://www.cliterature.org

Everything about that is classy.

Well it's a .org, so.

“I’m fisting your cute shaven pussy now” You say as we both watch your efforts.

Maybe this is why I've never really been into dirty talk. Every piece of advice boils down to "narrate the scene as it happens to the other person. It's hot, trust me."
Like they're unaware? In case she forgot that my entire hand is flailing about inside of her like a shipwrecked man adrift these past two score, desperately reaching for the last bit of food his shaky hands accidentally dropped into the sea? Like they're mentally incompetent? That could be entertaining...

Another thing I learned: when she's sick, giving her a sympathy card that says she needs to get well soon 'cause you're gonna slay that ass tomorrow?
Not a guarantee you're getting laid tomorrow!
Unbelievable, I know...

I'm fisting you just like when I was up to my elbow in a cows ass yesterday because the calf was turnt sideways

yoloswag

#getturnt

JonnyAngle wrote:

Achtane wrote:

Invisible Man wrote:

Iommic Pope wrote:

Invisible Man wrote:http://www.cliterature.org

Everything about that is classy.

Well it's a .org, so.

“I’m fisting your cute shaven pussy now” You say as we both watch your efforts.

Maybe this is why I've never really been into dirty talk. Every piece of advice boils down to "narrate the scene as it happens to the other person. It's hot, trust me."
Like they're unaware? In case she forgot that my entire hand is flailing about inside of her like a shipwrecked man adrift these past two score, desperately reaching for the last bit of food his shaky hands accidentally dropped into the sea? Like they're mentally incompetent? That could be entertaining...

Another thing I learned: when she's sick, giving her a sympathy card that says she needs to get well soon 'cause you're gonna slay that ass tomorrow?
Not a guarantee you're getting laid tomorrow!
Unbelievable, I know...

I'm fisting you just like when I was up to my elbow in a cows ass yesterday because the calf was turnt sideways

yoloswag

Gurl, I can fit my whole hand in a Pringles can. Just imagine what I can do for you

My favorite animal is the silent duck.

#getturnt

Achtane wrote:My favorite animal is the silent duck.

I got that reference.