ilovefuzz.com

Go back for at least one breakup sexytime.

Yeah... i did that first time i saw her after the breakup

twice in a row actually

we called "just sex" though... i don't have any problem with it, i'm through

fuck it, i'm starting a new phase... nothing can stop me now

change of strategy in the court thing...since we can't make a convincing argument that there's an emergency we're going to have to file for a regular stay-and-rehearing, for which i'll take in the paperwork tomorrow. my attorney thinks i'm crazy for continuing to try to keep my kitty; my ex has offered to give me the truck, release me from any possible remaining obligations, and go away if i'll give her the cat, and by re-opening the order i could wind up getting stuck with a three-year restraining order (she currently has a three-month order), lose the cat, and wind up spending gobs of money i don't have in the battle. but he's all the family i have left now, and he really seems to love and need me beyond my emotional attachment to him...he constantly interacts with me when he's not sleeping, always wanting to be petted, held, touched, spoken to, and acknowledged. and there comes a point in life where one has to say "no more...i've been pushed by assholes all my life, and this is the hill where i make a stand for good or ill." i'm tired of letting go and giving up, of letting my tormentors win because it's the effective thing to do. even if it's a Pyrrhic victory, as it may well be, i feel like i have to try. am i wrong?

my lawyer is great...i think--i KNOW--i frustrate him sometimes with my flaky hippyness and my emotional fragility, but he is willing enough to work with my impoverished situation that when i offered to give him my three Fender guitars, over $1500 worth at used retail, as security against my impending bills he negotiated me DOWN to the one i liked least.

dubkitty wrote:am i wrong?

No. Living things are always most important. Especially cats. Sounds like you and that cat need each other. That's a good reason right there to try and keep him.

7 minutes into Isis song; CD player stops working.

All that build up and no release.

If it was Wavering Radiant, you didn't miss anything.

kbithecrowing wrote:7 minutes into Isis song; CD player stops working.

All that build up and no release.

Ooooh, that's rough. What song was it?

D.o.S. wrote:If it was Wavering Radiant, you didn't miss anything.

Wavering Radiant was their best album. By far.

It was Low Tide on the Fishtank EP. Right before the drums start getting fucked up. Would have been worse if it was off Panopticon, but still sucked.
Still need to listen to Wavering Radiant.


Just skyped with the girl, missing her like crazy and starting to feel the distance get to me.
My wrist hurts from falling this weekend and it's affecting my guitar playing. Feel like selling my guitar because I feel inadequate.
Tired and alone.

Even if this feeling is temporary it's cutting into me.

12 days to finish:
12-15 page research paper
10-12 page research paper
8 page research paper
2-3 minute film
storyboard
script
shot list
5 page dramatic dialogue
Take/study for a midterm.

Oh, and kbith, just get some lotion and skype/phone hand+lotion sexytimes.

If you're really adventurous, try doing it without her catching on.

i really, really need a job, but if i take anything that pays less than my unemployment it'll totally fuck me in terms of trying to keep my head above water. plus the mortgage deferments due to my unemployment are the only thing that makes staying in the house tenable while i wait for Dan to get here from Miami. but i desperately need something to put structure back in my life and give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning and brush my teeth and give a fuck again, other than struggle and shit that i have to overcome. i want to quit surmounting obstacles for a little while and fucking live again.