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Yeah. Being in love with someone will really blind you to fucked up shit they may do and makes you automatically forgive them. The other person realizes that and uses it to their advantage. Dont let that happen.

TroySanders wrote:Yeah. Being in love with someone will really blind you to fucked up shit they may do and makes you automatically forgive them. The other person realizes that and uses it to their advantage. Dont let that happen.

Solid advice.

She keeps having like, a week of fucking awesomeness and then it just starts all over again.
She's just not aware of what she's doing. She does it with everyone. :/

God dammit.
That's like her only problem, otherwise she's awesome on so many levels. Guess that's why I'm still around.
I'm gonna meet her tomorrow morning to get my stuff back (a t-shirt she took when I was at her place -.-).

Got to find my cool again..

You will find your cool,

people get in yer head sometimes, not much you can do about it.

Sounds like you already know the pattern so the big quesiton is: Is one week of awesome worth months of complete garbage?

I just found out about this this morning, but I could have lost family over the weekend.

Some guy stabbed a woman to death near my family's house in New York and stole her car, but crashed it while he was getting away. He went to the next house down the road which was my family's. He broke in, but luckily didn't hurt anyone. He stole a car from us, but was caught soon after by the police not far away.

I need nothing to happen to anyone I know for a while. I have talked about some of the people on here before. In the past 2 years I have lost 2 close family members, 4 friends, and my dog. 5 more friends in the 4 years before that. I cope better than most people. But it makes me feel old, or like I'm carrying a bit more weight every time. I can't talk to people IRL about it, because they handle things worse than I do and I worry for them.

My two best friends, who I would talk freely with aren't here to talk to. One is out of state in grad school. The other is out of the city, but is also finishing up grad school so she has very little time. And, I don't want to lay anything on her either - she has a kind of lupus and frequently gets very sick, so when we are together I don't want anything to upset her. Also, her mother has a serious illness right now and she may need my support more than I need hers.

I just from time to time feel very tired.

alexa. wrote:She keeps having like, a week of fucking awesomeness and then it just starts all over again.
She's just not aware of what she's doing. She does it with everyone. :/

God dammit.
That's like her only problem, otherwise she's awesome on so many levels. Guess that's why I'm still around.
I'm gonna meet her tomorrow morning to get my stuff back (a t-shirt she took when I was at her place -.-).

Got to find my cool again..

Maybe you should be crazy for a while and see how she likes it...

I always fight crazy with crazy and I usually win. I guess that might not be a good thing.

jfrey wrote:I just found out about this this morning, but I could have lost family over the weekend.

Some guy stabbed a woman to death near my family's house in New York and stole her car, but crashed it while he was getting away. He went to the next house down the road which was my family's. He broke in, but luckily didn't hurt anyone. He stole a car from us, but was caught soon after by the police not far away.

I need nothing to happen to anyone I know for a while. I have talked about some of the people on here before. In the past 2 years I have lost 2 close family members, 4 friends, and my dog. 5 more friends in the 4 years before that. I cope better than most people. But it makes me feel old, or like I'm carrying a bit more weight every time. I can't talk to people IRL about it, because they handle things worse than I do and I worry for them.

My two best friends, who I would talk freely with aren't here to talk to. One is out of state in grad school. The other is out of the city, but is also finishing up grad school so she has very little time. And, I don't want to lay anything on her either - she has a kind of lupus and frequently gets very sick, so when we are together I don't want anything to upset her. Also, her mother has a serious illness right now and she may need my support more than I need hers.

I just from time to time feel very tired.

Very sorry for all the struggles dude. It sucks when you start loosing friends. I hope this doesn't come accross as lame but ILF is probably a great place to get some of this stuff out. People are definately here, and as much BS as goes around there is also a good level of care.

jfrey wrote:I can't talk to people IRL about it, because they handle things worse than I do and I worry for them.

TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!
Thankfully there's ILF.

Also, I really admire you. First for your steel will and your ability to use the body's potential to the max.
But talk to people about your problems. Open up. People can actually find comfort in comforting others in their bad times, so it might actually work out great for both of you.

hbombgraphics wrote:You will find your cool,
people get in yer head sometimes, not much you can do about it.
Sounds like you already know the pattern so the big quesiton is: Is one week of awesome worth months of complete garbage?

Nah, she wasn't in my head (actually depends how you look at it).
The situation is more like this: she's got HUGE potential, but she's not using it, and I'm basically waiting for her to use it.
And I know how to cold-read people, and really, I'm the only person in her life she's honest with. (bummer eh?)

I just hope I'll be strong enough to let it go again. It's not worth it, and she's not making it worth it. :/
I'm just sad about it. Also, afraid that I'm making a mistake and that I should be more patient.

@Caesar: Tried but just fucked up the good moments she had so I quit doing anything stupid. At least I'm a better person cuz of her. I think.

Potential means: You aren't worth anything yet.

But I do see your point and it sounds like you have a good perspective on the whole thing.

Also: I haven't been in a new relationship since 1999 so it's not like I have any idea what I am talking about

Steroids didn't work so we had to get and get my dog put down today

Alright.....

here'S my breakdown i've been expecting for some time now. Frankly... I'm crying as i'm typing this

long distance relationship sucks... i love her so much, but i just can¨t go on... i'm in an endless cycle of school, work and getting back home for the weekend to see her. I almost don't have any free time anymore, i can't really play guitar, i probably wouldn't manage having a band... during the week, i'm absolutely lost, food doesn't taste good, nothing really has a point, i feel terribly lonely, like a husk without a soul, mindlessly working and shit... i'm happy, yeah... during weekends when i see her... otherwise i feel fucking miserable. I've lost so much weight i can walk out of my jeans without unzipping. I smoke more than i eat

i can't imagine letting her go without starting to sob... i don't know what to do

and there's also this girl in here that could help me with feelig lonely... we've been talking a lot lately, i spend five hours freezing in a park, talking with her tonight... but i feel like a fucking jerk because it could be seen like i'm breaking up with someone because of someone else and that'S something i just can't see myself coping with

if any one of you saw me right now... if anyone saw me right now... they would probably act like not knowing me... that's how fucked i am

edit: i had to caall her... we apparently broke up over the phone

this was the worst, most hurtful and tragic thing i've ever experienced, but i probably just had to do it

edit2: 3:46 here, i've been crying for more than two hours now with short brakes... i seem to get better...

edit3: ... not... i can't be calm for not even ten minutes

Bitches suck!

It's a dick thing for me to say, but these things eventually hurt less and less. The more distance you you get, the easier they become. Sometimes simple distractions help. Guitar. Rearrange your pedal board. The distance can give you perspective.

Bitches suck. There'll be another one who won't suck. You're awesome enough that lots of people see it.

That's a very... interesting way how to put it, but yeah, i guess so... i might have just found a drummer wanting to start a post-rock band, i bought a Fuck OD, i'm writing for a student's magazine... those distractions are getting close

Meh. You're a hot dude who plays music. I think there are plenty of girls who would want to get some of that action.