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UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHH

my brother's psycho ex called him with an awesome suicide attempt again. she's like 'i took six ibuprofen and 4 moltrin, listen to this shitty song by black veil brides with me before i go' and my mom works in pharmaceuticals and i'm a pharmacology nerd so we're rolling our eyes and trying to get him to be done with this attention whoring cunt.

the worst part is it is partially his fault. because he called her first. she baits him by spreading gossip about herself, then he bites by calling her and being like IS THAT TRUEE and she's like YEAH AND I FEEL LIKE TOTAL SHIT ABOUT IT, LISTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT DYING

i hate everything. my brother is fucking stupid sometimes.

unownunown wrote:UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHH

my brother's psycho ex called him with an awesome suicide attempt again. she's like 'i took six ibuprofen and 4 moltrin, listen to this shitty song by black veil brides with me before i go' and my mom works in pharmaceuticals and i'm a pharmacology nerd so we're rolling our eyes and trying to get him to be done with this attention whoring cunt.

the worst part is it is partially his fault. because he called her first. she baits him by spreading gossip about herself, then he bites by calling her and being like IS THAT TRUEE and she's like YEAH AND I FEEL LIKE TOTAL SHIT ABOUT IT, LISTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT DYING

i hate everything. my brother is fucking stupid sometimes.

Vaginas are magical with the powers of hypnosis. Really, she took essentially ten ibuprofen?!? That's not a suicide attempt. I almost threw myself in front of a car and I didn't even want to die. I've never told anyone that before.

I'm a mess, but less of a mess than I was 6-9 months ago. The problem is I'm too good at acting like nothing is wrong. God damn, this drunk is starting to take a bad turn. Somebody tell me a funny, racy, yet clever joke.

snipelfritz wrote:

unownunown wrote:UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHH

my brother's psycho ex called him with an awesome suicide attempt again. she's like 'i took six ibuprofen and 4 moltrin, listen to this shitty song by black veil brides with me before i go' and my mom works in pharmaceuticals and i'm a pharmacology nerd so we're rolling our eyes and trying to get him to be done with this attention whoring cunt.

the worst part is it is partially his fault. because he called her first. she baits him by spreading gossip about herself, then he bites by calling her and being like IS THAT TRUEE and she's like YEAH AND I FEEL LIKE TOTAL SHIT ABOUT IT, LISTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT DYING

i hate everything. my brother is fucking stupid sometimes.

Vaginas are magical with the powers of hypnosis. Really, she took essentially ten ibuprofen?!? That's not a suicide attempt. I almost threw myself in front of a car and I didn't even want to die. I've never told anyone that before.

I'm a mess, but less of a mess than I was 6-9 months ago. The problem is I'm too good at acting like nothing is wrong. God damn, this drunk is starting to take a bad turn. Somebody tell me a funny, racy, yet clever joke.

An English Man, A Welsh Man & A Pakistani Man are in the waiting room after their wifes have all had babies.

They call in the English man to go and see his baby.

He comes back out carrying a child that is clearly of Pakistani descent.

English guy goes "I'm not taking any fucking chances"

Weren't expecting that outcome were you!

I Took a job at the Helium Factory... I left after the first 10 minutes... I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

But yes women can be very manipulative, especially towards nice guys, i've suffered this simmilar fate.

Don't let the booze grasp you man, stick on a funny film with some rocking tunes and turn that drunk round!

yeah. some bitches are bitches. and yeah, 10 ibuprofen is not an attempt to kill oneself as much as an attempt to kill ones' headache.

my brother is really too nice/naive for these bitches. this chick is even almost 2 years younger than him, too. but it seems like nice dudes are quicker to date the crazy ones for some reason, at least imo.

i remember i was so happy when they broke up. i thought it was over can i file a restraining order on behalf of someone? and can a restraining order work if they attend school together? can i kill someone who is crazy? will rick james smack a bitch?

SHIT!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright. I'm off to bed now. Good night all.

unownunown wrote:yeah. some bitches are bitches. and yeah, 10 ibuprofen is not an attempt to kill oneself as much as an attempt to kill ones' headache.

my brother is really too nice/naive for these bitches. this chick is even almost 2 years younger than him, too. but it seems like nice dudes are quicker to date the crazy ones for some reason, at least imo.

i remember i was so happy when they broke up. i thought it was over can i file a restraining order on behalf of someone? and can a restraining order work if they attend school together? can i kill someone who is crazy? will rick james smack a bitch?

i remember the good old days when some freshman girl in highschool was depressed because her boyfriend, who was a senior, broke up with her. she responded by crying in the bathroom at school before she decided to set a roll of toilet paper on fire and inadvertently almost set the entire bathroom on fire. those were the days...


but my irritation comes from my boss at work. he knows i go to school from 9-5 and then he has the nerve to put me on the schedule from 5-12. what a guy. and my sister is a raging bitch. never thought a 13 year old would tell me that i'm going nowhere with my life. i wish rick james would smack a bitch.

Scruffie wrote:

snipelfritz wrote:

unownunown wrote:UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHH

my brother's psycho ex called him with an awesome suicide attempt again. she's like 'i took six ibuprofen and 4 moltrin, listen to this shitty song by black veil brides with me before i go' and my mom works in pharmaceuticals and i'm a pharmacology nerd so we're rolling our eyes and trying to get him to be done with this attention whoring cunt.

the worst part is it is partially his fault. because he called her first. she baits him by spreading gossip about herself, then he bites by calling her and being like IS THAT TRUEE and she's like YEAH AND I FEEL LIKE TOTAL SHIT ABOUT IT, LISTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT DYING

i hate everything. my brother is fucking stupid sometimes.

Vaginas are magical with the powers of hypnosis. Really, she took essentially ten ibuprofen?!? That's not a suicide attempt. I almost threw myself in front of a car and I didn't even want to die. I've never told anyone that before.

I'm a mess, but less of a mess than I was 6-9 months ago. The problem is I'm too good at acting like nothing is wrong. God damn, this drunk is starting to take a bad turn. Somebody tell me a funny, racy, yet clever joke.

An English Man, A Welsh Man & A Pakistani Man are in the waiting room after their wifes have all had babies.

They call in the English man to go and see his baby.

He comes back out carrying a child that is clearly of Pakistani descent.

English guy goes "I'm not taking any fucking chances"

Weren't expecting that outcome were you!

I Took a job at the Helium Factory... I left after the first 10 minutes... I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

But yes women can be very manipulative, especially towards nice guys, i've suffered this simmilar fate.

Don't let the booze grasp you man, stick on a funny film with some rocking tunes and turn that drunk round!

not to swing it
but man those jokes reek
PEE YEW!
crickets

tuffteef wrote:not to swing it
but man those jokes reek
PEE YEW!
crickets

They were the first 2 jokes I heard on the Comedy Central Edinburgh Comedy live on the TV at the time.

To be fair, it's next to impossible to tell a classic joke in writing and have it be funny, with no delivery, it'll almost never work.

i'm completely inspirationless and even if i wouldn't be, i couldn't write a decent song for my current band... i totally differ from their style when it comes to actual song composing

oh and i just FUCKING HATE the MOTHERFUCKING TIT-ASS CUNTSHIT CONDITIONALS... now i've been learning english for 13 years and i'd say i have a decent skill for a foreigner... but that's the ONE THING that's been fucking with me and i can't really get on with... i always just throw random woulds and ifs and different tenses together and just hope it works

I fucking hate Muse.

ms1012 wrote:I fucking hate Muse.

FUCKING +1

The4455 wrote:

ms1012 wrote:I fucking hate Muse.

FUCKING +1

FUCKING + FUCKING 2

Muse is ok. They've definitely gone downhill recently.

I hate it when people say "I could care less" meaning the care very little. If you can care less, that means you do care to begin with. It should be "I couldn't care less" because then you've reached the absolute pinnacle of apathy.

hmm, "pinnacle of apathy" kinda sounds like a cool album title.

snipelfritz wrote:Muse is ok. They've definitely gone downhill recently.

I hate it when people say "I could care less" meaning the care very little. If you can care less, that means you do care to begin with. It should be "I couldn't care less" because then you've reached the absolute pinnacle of apathy.

hmm, "pinnacle of apathy" kinda sounds like a cool album title.

I could care less, but that would take too much work.

snipelfritz wrote:when people say "I could care less"

THIS BOTHERS ME GREATLY

Speaking of good album titles, I walked around the neo-hippie store here and saw a box of incense called "Patchouli Forest". Man, that would be the greatest jam band/hippie festival name ever.