How long is thy dong? 2018 DAD DICK EDITION

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HOW LONG IS YOUR DONG? The 2018 Dad Dick Edition! Large dongs need not apply.

1-3 inches (it's the ILF norm. You're ok with it being small because, honestly, you're not going to get laid, so who cares?).
1
5%
4-5 inches (you have a large penis. We get it! SO WHAT!! Do you use it??? Bet you don't buddy!!!).
0
No votes
6 inches (This makes you the equivalent of a sexual god. At this point, we don't believe it but we're willing to look at photo evidence).
4
21%
Any over 6-7 inches (I'm a liar for voting here. I know it, you know. ILF has determined only small penises exist here. Soooooooooooooo....yea. You're still not going to get laid bruh).
4
21%
I don't have a penis but I wish I did.
1
5%
I don't have a penis and I'm happy about that, so like, fuck you assholes.
2
11%
ILF is obsessed with cocks.
7
37%
 
Total votes: 19
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by coldbrightsunlight »

echodeluxe wrote:Well, this certainly is a thread.

:lol: It certainly is.
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by basti moon »

theactionindex wrote:
More like, how deep is your butt? Where's that poll? Hmmmm?!



...Sha-la how deep is your butt I really need to know..

I'm the only one who heard that?
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by Bassus Sanguinis »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnWn6Wewuug[/youtube]


....because Bwana Dick
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by behndy »

dicks are so weird. we put way too much worry and value into something that we can't really change.

like, if you're a fatty? work out a bunch, eat better. got weird bewbz? save up some money and get a tit job. just have an oddly busted up face naturally? get some work done. small or thin or ninety degree bent cock? TOO BAD FOR YOUUUUUUUU.

and that's just if it freaks you out. sometimes that shit adds CHARACTER SON.

my favorite Cock Justification Stories -

a latin guitarist sorta bud of mines one time - "yeah. my shit's not that long. but it is WIDE. 's like a crushed BEER CAN."

Messican Dooder that worked at a restaurant with my little brother would always walk up to him with his fist balled, just his pinky sticking out and say -

"yeah meng. you a big white boy. maybe you got a big dick. that's okay. "

*poke him in the shoulder with extended pinkie*

"mine maybe small..."

*poke. poke poke.*

"... but it's HARD. it's always HARD."

*poke poke POKE POKE-"

"OH GAWD STOP JAMMING YOUR PSEUDO-DICK INTO MY ARM."
Eric! wrote:YOU'RE like having two pedals in one
with your...momentary fuck switch and all..
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by Ancient Astronaught »

Which way to do I vote for between 7 and 8?!?! :idk: I don't want to sound cocky, but I don't want to under-rate myself either. :cry:
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by behndy »

hah. COCKY. i see what you did there.
Eric! wrote:YOU'RE like having two pedals in one
with your...momentary fuck switch and all..
theactionindex wrote:QUADRACOCK BEHNDERFUCK
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okay, Plan B - PANICImage
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by Ancient Astronaught »

behndy wrote:hah. COCKY. i see what you did there.


hahaha at least SOMEONE noticed. :excellent: :lol:
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by Gone Fission »

No separate polling for shower vs. grower or for girth?
D.o.S. wrote:Broadly speaking, if we at ILF are dropping 300 bucks on a pedal it probably sounds like an SNES holocaust.
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UglyCasanova wrote:brb gonna slap my dick on my stomp boxes
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by behndy »

Ancient Astronaught wrote:
behndy wrote:hah. COCKY. i see what you did there.


hahaha at least SOMEONE noticed. :excellent: :lol:


you've got a teddy bear shoving a Smoking Hot Bigger Than He Is Phallic Symbol into his face over and over as he handie-motions it staring at me.

HOW COULD I NOT NOTICE.

and yesh. i am way more a grower than a show'er.
Eric! wrote:YOU'RE like having two pedals in one
with your...momentary fuck switch and all..
theactionindex wrote:QUADRACOCK BEHNDERFUCK
music, videos, in progress - http://www.youtube.com/c/behndy

okay, Plan B - PANICImage
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by Ancient Astronaught »

behndy wrote:
Ancient Astronaught wrote:
behndy wrote:hah. COCKY. i see what you did there.


hahaha at least SOMEONE noticed. :excellent: :lol:


you've got a teddy bear shoving a Smoking Hot Bigger Than He Is Phallic Symbol into his face over and over as he handie-motions it staring at me.

HOW COULD I NOT NOTICE.

and yesh. i am way more a grower than a show'er.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

and as am I.... I needz a loose some wait.
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by the_carl »

behndy wrote:dicks are so weird. we put way too much worry and value into something that we can't really change.

Historical perceptions are also interesting. Back in the day the Romans were all about tiny penises and wrote poems making fun of people who were too big. Martial VI.36, for example:

Your penis and your nose are so large, Papylus,
that you can smell it whenever you have an erection.

I'm not sure if that still counts as an insult overall today.
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by Jwar »

Imagine how long our dicks would be if we put them all together! Or if we just stood in a circle (a jerk circle of sorts) and kind of...I dunno...sword fought or something.
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by rustywire »

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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by Gone Fission »

jwar wrote:Imagine how long our dicks would be if we put them all together! Or if we just stood in a circle (a jerk circle of sorts) and kind of...I dunno...sword fought or something.


Reminds me of this vid at about 1:00:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8zeaYFQMJM[/youtube]
D.o.S. wrote:Broadly speaking, if we at ILF are dropping 300 bucks on a pedal it probably sounds like an SNES holocaust.
friendship wrote:death to false bleep-blop
UglyCasanova wrote:brb gonna slap my dick on my stomp boxes
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Re: How long is your dong? NOW WITH POLL OPTIONS

Post by THEBEERHAMMER »

Tom Dalton wrote:I was an inch longer before I got circumcised.
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