ilovefuzz.com

Briefly my cold meds kicked in:

"Yes! Yes! It's over! I'm better again!"

30 minutes later:

"Fuck. Still sick."

Onions and honey work as a charm

So does getting your dick sucked.

Shoot me in the face. Making shitty websites and catalogues is boring as shit.

Onions and honey? Like, together?

That sounds delicious! Ugh, I'm not prepared for band practice and really don't think I want to be in it, but it's the most organized thing I've found.

RASMFRASMFLIMFLAMMING stupid virtual machines.

Working on this project for work, everything works fine before conversion, but it's all jacked up afterwards for no good reason.

I joined a band and they just kicked out the guitarist. I dont understand he was a big reason I joined in the first place.

Tomorrow I have to write five pages (at least) worth of stuff I don't know very well because I haven't had the energy to do any school stuff that wasn't absolutely necessary for the last few weeks. I wrote three today, but also got a haircut and have been on here/distracted. If I almost make the minimum amount of text or make it and then flunk I will be sad. I keep thinking I can't take one more thing going badly, but then three or so things go badly and I feel like I'm drowning. I still have shit left to do from last semester and I don't have the energy to keep failing shit and redoing. The solution is obvious, do stuff before the last minute. I always really, honestly mean to but it never materializes.

Also, my "most active thread" is this one. That makes me wonder what I'm doing a bit. My dad has Seasonal Affective Disorder which I may have inherited. It's not like I'm happy the rest of the year though, even if I was actually okay for a few months this spring. Shit didn't drag me into a hole like it usually does. I imagine that's what a normal and well adjusted person feels like. Wow, I felt like such a sad person typing that. But really, there was still anxiety, sadness and doubt but it WENT AWAY and then it stayed away for a while. I haven't had a day when I was really okay in weeks.

I'm feeling pretty ambivalent towards this thread, also. I don't know if writing this is helping or doing the opposite. I also feel like a major attention whore now.

Birthday Boy wrote: It's not like I'm happy the rest of the year though, even if I was actually okay for a few months this spring. Shit didn't drag me into a hole like it usually does. I imagine that's what a normal and well adjusted person feels like.

Yeah, there are periods every now and then where I'm feeling pretty good for days on end and I'm like, "WOW! Is this how it's supposed to be?! I could do anything like this!".
But I'm not sure. Maybe I'm overly positive at those times. Right now everything's great because I got to go on two little road adventures with my friend this week and see two excellent shows. It's a good time to start something positive, like practicing every day or somethin'. I'm not sure how long it will last though.

Also, there's no such thing as attention whoring in this thread. Don't worry about it.

alexa. wrote:@dubkitty: think we don't do? think we don't play?

no, of course not. and pl4ase don't think that i'm putting myself above you, or that i don't also over-think stuff to the point of self-defeating absurdity at times. you have no idea, e.g., how many potential lyrics get chucked because i'm all "i'm not saying THAT."

alexa. wrote:think those musicians DIDN'T think about it in a manner we do?

to some extent, yes, i expect they do. but not to the point of paralyzing one's work by over-debating its basic premises. at some point you have to decide "this is what i'm going to do with this project" and go, or you'll spend forever just deciding, y'know? i'm also saying this from the viewpoint of someone who feels they've spent far too many years thinking about what to do and far too little time actually doing stuff, so bear that in mind, too.

alexa. wrote:dunno. every great musician I know is like that. there are exceptions ofc, the differing point would probably be around 50%.

i think it's important to give one's work careful consideration. i just felt that BB's initial post sounded like he was getting stuck in the deciding phase, and i've found that sometimes you just have to bust on through. i spent years trying to write the kind of songs i wanted to write...finally i gave that up and started writing the kind of songs that come to me naturally. i've found that to be more better artistically, even if it isn't what my intellect wants. does that make any sense?

Birthday Boy wrote:I still don't buy the argument that seems to be that unhappiness can be proven to be justified or not by looking at outer circumstances. Feelings aren't empirically falsifiable, they're just there.

as a dear friend of mine said to me recently, "people get to have feelings...it's all right.

dealing with a bunch of assholes right now

oh and... my friend lended me his Ibanez Weeping Demon wah... the thing is SO FUCKING UGLY but sound much better than my crybaby 95Q... it actually wahs with fuzz!
so kinda torn between the problem of design and the advantage of good sound... i'm no sissy, but i like when i love how my pedals look like it inspires me more

DarkAxel wrote:dealing with a bunch of assholes right now

oh and... my friend lended me his Ibanez Weeping Demon wah... the thing is SO FUCKING UGLY but sound much better than my crybaby 95Q... it actually wahs with fuzz!
so kinda torn between the problem of design and the advantage of good sound... i'm no sissy, but i like when i love how my pedals look like it inspires me more

It has the Nerf gun aesthetic.
Get one and paint it orange. If it's gonna be ugly it should be all the way ugly. Then it's cool again.

better yet, paint it two or three colors with spray cans for that 1983 punk-rock aesthetic.

Alternatively, you could get it rehoused.

Ran into a hot redhead today. Will either be a cause for spite, hate,rage, etc. or general contentedness.

D.o.S. wrote:Alternatively, you could get it rehoused.

Ran into a hot redhead today. Will either be a cause for spite, hate,rage, etc. or general contentedness.

Fingers crossed for content!