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Achtane wrote:

imJonWain wrote:on a more serious note anyone ever owned a fleshlight? or thinking about it?

I have a story from today, actually.

This morning, my gf threw a bubble mailer onto the bed with "I got you a present!"
I opened it and another mailer fell out, this one labeled "merma...asturbator".
The object inside was kinda heavy. I looked at her. Then, i gathered my courage, ripped it open and came face to face with this horror.

NSFW: show

https://www.amazon.com/SHEQU-Masturbator-Mermaid-Pocket-Masturbation/dp/B01HBA5GM8

We both cracked the fuck up. This is a thing. Someone designed this. A factory somewhere in China is just chock full of these. Wow.

So later in the afternoon, we did a thing. A good time is had by all. We're laying there, and she suddenly gets up and goes to the drawer. And pulls out...the fish.
A mixture of fear and morbid curiosity coursed through me. I was not prepared, but then, who would be?

Next thing I knew, I was balls deep in a rubber fish. Paralyzed. I didn't know what to do. There was a peculiar and overwhelming sense of shame to this act, like a full-body version of when you're jerking it and get some jizz on your hand. And yet, a streak of novelty as well. I was laying there while she fucked me with this...this hellspawn oceanic. Wait, am I being raped?! This is weird!

I thought that it would be amusing to mount it on the wall like those stupid singing bass.
Then, I made up my mind. I steeled my will.
I've done a lot of depraved shit. And now I'm gonna come in a fish.
It took a lot to avoid laughing or crying, and it was hard to finish. All I could think about was what if I die like this?
But we prevailed.
She is a very special girl.

MEC wrote:

Achtane wrote:

imJonWain wrote:on a more serious note anyone ever owned a fleshlight? or thinking about it?

I have a story from today, actually.

This morning, my gf threw a bubble mailer onto the bed with "I got you a present!"
I opened it and another mailer fell out, this one labeled "merma...asturbator".
The object inside was kinda heavy. I looked at her. Then, i gathered my courage, ripped it open and came face to face with this horror.

NSFW: show

https://www.amazon.com/SHEQU-Masturbator-Mermaid-Pocket-Masturbation/dp/B01HBA5GM8

We both cracked the fuck up. This is a thing. Someone designed this. A factory somewhere in China is just chock full of these. Wow.

So later in the afternoon, we did a thing. A good time is had by all. We're laying there, and she suddenly gets up and goes to the drawer. And pulls out...the fish.
A mixture of fear and morbid curiosity coursed through me. I was not prepared, but then, who would be?

Next thing I knew, I was balls deep in a rubber fish. Paralyzed. I didn't know what to do. There was a peculiar and overwhelming sense of shame to this act, like a full-body version of when you're jerking it and get some jizz on your hand. And yet, a streak of novelty as well. I was laying there while she fucked me with this...this hellspawn oceanic. Wait, am I being raped?! This is weird!

I thought that it would be amusing to mount it on the wall like those stupid singing bass.
Then, I made up my mind. I steeled my will.
I've done a lot of depraved shit. And now I'm gonna come in a fish.
It took a lot to avoid laughing or crying, and it was hard to finish. All I could think about was what if I die like this?
But we prevailed.
She is a very special girl.

You should cut and paste this as a "Amazon Verified Purchase" review.

Faldoe wrote:Interesting direction things are going.

I'm looking into get a cock ring. Anyone ever use one? I was thinking of getting a few and putting them all on at once. Kind of like stacking dirt pedals.

JonnyAngle wrote:My wife once told me to get a butt plug because she thought it would stop me from farting

JonnyAngle wrote:My wife once told me to get a butt plug because she thought it would stop me from farting

Inconuucl wrote:

JonnyAngle wrote:My wife once told me to get a butt plug because she thought it would stop me from farting

But then your ass will explode. Not worth it.

neonblack wrote:She was totally testing the waters dude. Next thing you know, it's "let me wear this strapon. For your prostate health."