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behndy wrote:... but i get REALLY bothered by things not in alingment sometimes and feel relief if say i'm out eating friends and i straighten out my vibrators and butt plugs and arrange the condoms into a tidy design.

FIX'D

I've got this obsession to have the most neat board ever. I even like tidy boards more than boards with lots of awesome pedals, but not really practically oriented/neat/thought out.

Chankgeez wrote:

snipelfritz wrote:

DanToneMachine wrote:My favorite Dinosaur Jr. album is Dinosaur

And I'm partial to You're Living All Over Me, myself.

Bug is almost as good.

I have to say, I'm a massive fan of Farm! Easily my favourite Dinosaur Jr album.

After flaking out on everybody over the last few months, several moves and a ton of stupid shit, I tried to kill myself twice.

The only reason I didn't die is because my landlady called the cops when I was banging around while having a seizure.

I am so fucking done. I don't even know what I'm doing posting this.

^ Really sorry to hear that man.

I was worried about you after you dropped off the forum after the Secret Santa thing (I was your Secret Santa).

Don't give up though, man.. Things will turn around eventually. They always do. If you need someone to talk to please PM me or something.

Oh shit, man.


If you feel like loading off, pm me or send me an email.

Glad you didn't succeed.

as someone 55 years old who's been suicidal off and on for years, let me share this: over the course of time i've learned that the situations that made me want to die CHANGED after some period of time. this has happened repeatedly, and it's the way life works. when you're younger it seems like all hope is gone when the stuff you wanted falls apart, but that's not true...i've lost everything i cared about more than once, and eventually things got better. the pain receded with time, and better fortune and i found each other. we're not so smart as to be able to know the future; thus, we can't eliminate some possibility of hope and redemption. where you are now is not the end. don't try to do it again. like they say, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

please talk to someone about getting some kind of psychiatric or psychological help. you don't have to go through this alone, and there are ways at least to reduce your level of suffering. don't let this beat you. you're worth more than that.

dood. get to somebody to talk to. if you can't find a pro right away hit up somebody on here. SHIT GETS BETTER. you're a good person, let somebody help you. through this hard time.

hugz.

Chankgeez wrote:

behndy wrote:... but i get REALLY bothered by things not in alingment sometimes and feel relief if say i'm out eating friends and i straighten out my vibrators and butt plugs and arrange the condoms into a tidy design.

FIX'D

urm.... i don't know if i could handle the thought of stuff that goes inside me being out in the Scary Unwashed World. dildo arrangement is more of a Come Over To Mine's For Dinner Why Does Nobody Ever Accept The SECOND Invitation kind Of thing.

gawd i hate condoms. haven't used them in like 15 years. and that is GOOD.

behndy wrote:... dildo arrangement ....

I'd like to think of this as a possible career option, sorta like flower arrangement ...

or a good name for a band.

for Bubby. Hang in there man, I know how shit can be.

Chankgeez wrote:

behndy wrote:... dildo arrangement ....

I'd like to think of this as a possible career option, sorta like flower arrangement ...

or a good name for a band.

a boquet of dildos. Dildi? Dildoes? What does Dil do?

makes pickles tasty. hmmmmmmmm...

bubstance wrote:After flaking out on everybody over the last few months, several moves and a ton of stupid shit, I tried to kill myself twice.

The only reason I didn't die is because my landlady called the cops when I was banging around while having a seizure.

I am so fucking done. I don't even know what I'm doing posting this.

Dude, help is needed. A close friend left me years ago by deciding to off it.

It DOES get better, even though it might not seem like it at the moment.

Well, I've had OSEEDEEE for most of my life. Got much worse in my teens, took meds for it.

OCD (REAL OCD) can be fucking brutal. I wouldn't say I have/had a severe case of it, but it was enough to affect me on a regular day-to-day basis.

It's a term that's thrown around by everyone, who really have no clue what it really is. If your desk is nice and tidy, GAWD that person must have OCD

OCD probably (almost definitely) contributes to my obsessive pedal hoarding but things like kicking off my shoes, arranging things in my house, and the constant repetitive thoughts are NOT fun

totally. that's what i was trying to say before we got into the Dildos vs Silverware discussion (ew. dildos AS silverware? SALTY.). i do NOT think i'm truly OCD, i feel for peoples that have to deal with that, sounds horrific and i can not relate. but i do get a tad obsessive about things, and i'm poorly developed socially in a lot of ways, and sometimes the easiest way to say that without having a whole huge conversation is "i'm a TAD OCD.". even though it's not really accurate.

fuck. 'm all fucked up about my grrL. dunno what to do. shit has been weird and distant for so long.... haven't been happy for about 3 years. i love her, but shit's not changing and i don't like it... she seems ok with it which is KINDA fucking me up more.

urf. emo kid BULLSHIT.