ilovefuzz.com

My mother is being incredibly obnoxious. She's sitting on my bed having a conversation on the phone when I still want to sleep. She knows it's the only way to get me clean.

Begrudgingly of course. Very begrudgingly.

but i don't love myself. i despise myself. always have. and how am i supposed to feel any better about myself NOW?

dubkitty wrote:but i don't love myself. i despise myself. always have. and how am i supposed to feel any better about myself NOW?

Write a kick-ass rock opera about it.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYFlkFY4jJY[/youtube]


But really, confidence sucks. It's a foreign language to me, same with pride. Anyone who doesn't hate themselves isn't worth talking to.

If you don't love yourself now, become the person you will love.
Simple really. ^^

Aaaaaand confidence doesn't suck, false modesty and cockiness do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssf7P-Sgcrk

Is your location supposed to be a Flight of the Conchords reference?

Is ILF slow lately or is that just me being bored and checking on it every five minutes all day?

Achtane wrote:Is ILF slow lately or is that just me being bored and checking on it every five minutes all day?

It's not slow. I've been online for the last three days straight... checking every ten minutes.

Achtane wrote:Is ILF slow lately or is that just me being bored and checking on it every five minutes all day?

I think it's a little bit of both. I'm feeling the same way.

i just thought i would let you know that i haven't shot myself. as much as i would like to.

i'm trying to find some kind of way to look forward to a possible future. but the thing is, i really don't want to. you could call me a pussy, or a coward. my shrink would call it a failure of "willingness."

in the meantime i'm coping--or "coping"--by talking for hours on the phone with my friends, posting on forums so i can talk with friends there about it, and rolling around in fitful Klonopin-induced sleep. i was better enough today that i could sit in the living room with the cats, who are dreadfully confused and traumitized and don't understand why Mommy won't come home. it's all just so fucking sad. the fact that the relationship was breaking down and this was more or less inevitable doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.

snipelfritz wrote:Is your location supposed to be a Flight of the Conchords reference?

it was random
and I like marmalade forest more

i hope i'm not being just a whiny bummer to y'all.

HA! I know!
Just try this. works 100%
Get an activity, heck - several of them, and just do it. keep yourself really busy so you don't have time to think.
That's kinda the reason listening to Watts helped me, he has some really tough stuff to work through, so
that kept me occupied. like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fz0scdFG3h0 "pain, philosophical discourse series" or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-mkia0RE6A "illusion of the ego".

If that's not your thing, try learning physics (or whatever you like) on khan academy , or doing all those things
you never did cuz you were too busy. Running, swimming, whatever, just go and do!

^

i understand the pains of thinking too much. just dive into something so you're distracted enough, it sounds shitty but its better than wallowing

Alan Watts was a fantastically smart dude.

So Earthbound Audio is going out of business, huh?

-> mojo factor rising, prices going through the roof?

i'd buy Supercollider but all they have left is the shitty orange on black/black on orange finish plus i'm getting my money together for El Capistan... so yeah that's an effect that got away from me...