dubkitty wrote:i feel really sad today. last night i had a dream where my gf came back to me and forgave me and loved me again like before things went all to hell. she was even willing to leave some of her stuff in storage so the house would be more liveable. it's struck me lately how much i'm still not over the breakup...the last time i was out with my friend Jane, Kim's awfulness came up in the context of her taking my cat away (which hasn't happened yet) and i wound up saying "no, she wasn't all horrible" and recounting things i loved about her until i was practically in tears and had to change the subject. which is fucked up considering that she was always controlling, and for the last few years was profoundly abusive. but i still miss the person she once was. it breaks my heart to be here, still cleaning up the rubble of the life we shared.
time always distorts feelings up... that's why some people get a feeling they can get back to someone because they don't really recall what was the reason to split
(and i'm not trying to exclude myself... i also don't say that time can't change thigs up so it might end up better, but sometimes the damage is irreversible... )
on the topic of breakups: i've found out i've been pretty fucked up lately because i have trouble being with myself, i don't appreciate myself and don't feel comfortable alone... funny thing - only with knowing about the issue helped me
oh and btw my latest ex is apparently the greatest and most worthy person i've dated, because she's the one that isn't treating me like crap after the breakup
