The Doom Room: ILF Edition

[AngryGoldfish]

You're right, after a while you need to prioritise. If you're not willing to make sacrifices then neither should anyone else for your benefit.

[emptyparadigm]

I don't drink, do drugs, or eat meat. I just masturbate with wreckless abandon.

I drink, do drugs, eat meat, and also masturbate with wreckless abandon. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Man, I just broke up with a lady friend and have been surrounded by guy friends who all cannot handle their alcohol. It is really fucking irritating when you look over and see your buddy or gal faceplant into the concrete when you are barely buzzed. Like, wtf people. Learn to handle your shit. I can't remember the last time I was really hammered even though I drink like every other day.

It blows my mind when people my age or older are like this, so I totally feel your pain. I drink daily, but only a glass of wine or a small pour of whiskey to wind down the day. My hangovers are really painful, so I do my best to avoid 'em.

On the other end of the spectrum, I can't imagine going out and getting hammered every day. Moderation is always the key.

How do you guys feel about letting bands borrow gear? Say its a small 3 person semi-acoustic band that is friends with your band, and they always open for you when you play together but at EVERY show they never ever ever bring an amp and always ask at the last minute or sometimes don't ask at all until their getting on stage.

My thought is my personal gear is off limits to anyone not in my band, or if I'm playing a show and someones rig takes a massive shit during their set. Then I'm open to the notion of letting them borrow it, but I'm not open to supplying someone with a rig at every show we play together.

I've borrowed gear from friends when either a) I've flown in from out of town and am gearless or b) my gear eats it at soundcheck. But only from good friends who know/trust me, and who know that if anything happens to their stuff on my watch that I'll happily pay to fix/replace it. Similarly, I've loaned gear to close friends with that same understanding. But bands I don't know? Nope. Bands who are just unprofessional, even if we're "band friends?" Nope.

[deathmonkey]

I was going to say, we did it for a mini tour with a friend's band where we worked out in advance. In the vand there were 4 guitar heads, two bass heads, and then just one set of cabs for everyone. Cabs staid up between bands and you just plugged your head in and went. But these are friends and we all worked it out in advance. I've always been way more inclined to let folks borrow if they know ahead of time that they just can;t get gear to a single show for one reason or another. I'm fine with that.

All these bands have their own gear though and literally just need help for that one show or something. If you don;t have the gear to play a show, sit home and keep practicing until you do. Thats just me.

I don't drink, do drugs, or eat meat. I just masturbate with wreckless abandon.

Also, This. X1000000.

[t-rey]

Ahhh weddings...that was a special night! Almost 5 years ago now, but fuck it was the best party of my life! One peice of advice for all you getting married...on the night, your gonna have a lot of people to party with etc etc...but please do this one thing: take yourself and your wife to a quiet corner for 5 minutes and just watch the wedding and take time to let it sink in, that its all about you guys and the rest of your life!. Although it was the best night of my life, those 10 minutes were the best 10 minutes of the night for us.

Anyway...i need to vent...i've had the worst 10 days...started out with what i thought was a bad flair up of my chrons...stressed over the weekend that this might be the straw that breaks the camels back and i might need surgery etc...not helped by the fact that i could feel a lump down below...so the whole cancer thing was in my head until i went to the doctor, and after a few tests...the good news was it was just a hermeroid. But then, the next day went back to work after a few weeks off, and was called into a two day meeting were a couple of directors of the business and i sat down to restructure the organisation...ended today with the outcome that 60 people will have to interview to get their own jobs, or they are redundant...i feel so dirty and a shamed of what i do for a living!

Now i'm at a bar having a drink by myself before i go home...i just want to get home turn up the amp and just fucking play loud and let all this stress out!

The wife and I had a 'sweetheart' table for our wedding that was away from everyone else. Most everyone there was super respectful of our space and we got to sit and eat and enjoy each other for a solid 20 minutes before really venturing into the chaos that is your own wedding reception. One of the bridesmaids actually waited on us for our food and all of the groomsmen made sure we had a drink in our hands at all times, so that really helped us relax. We had such a blast though - probably 90-100 people so it wasn't super huge and overwhelming.

Sorry to hear about your medical shit. That cancer scare can be a real bitch. Glad to hear everything is reasonably okay.

Work sucks. Managerial jobs suck way worse than anybody thinks - I haven't had to fire someone yet, even though I wanted to (but the owner is a big softie so he still works here) I know it's going to be really hard when that time comes.

trying to get a quick doom out tonight before i have people over to make bacon weave taco shell venison tacos

WAT

I get shitfaced.

This. Not really - I used to though. Up until like two years ago I still took pride in the fact I got blackout drunk and threw up at least once per year

I still love drinking. I just don't get wasted like I used to. The hangovers are epic and not worth the alleged fun the night before.

ha. I used to help my friends brew beer in grad school.

Every new job I've ever had:

Coworker: Hey, you want to come to happy hour with us?
Me: Sure
(Once we get there and i order iced tea)
Coworker: Get a beer, I'll buy!
Me: No it's cool man, I don't drink
Coworker: You don't drink? What, like a lot?
Me: No... Like not at all
Coworker: What do you do for fun?
Me: ....

you get used to it.

That's stupid. It's amazing how narrow minded people can be about lifestyles and lifestyle choices...

I drink rarely, at most once or twice a month, and even more rarely do I drink more then 2 beers. My birthday is the only exception I don't enjoy being drunk, I don't like feeling wobbly, I like feeling chill and relaxed. I prefer more natural remedies for the need to let loose.

Yeah...I kinda prefer smoking to drinking anymore. But I will probably cut that out soonish. Can't imagine the wife will be tolerant of it in/around the house once we have a little human.

I don't drink, do drugs, or eat meat. I just masturbate with wreckless abandon.

Seems reasonable.

[live-i-evil]

hehe what do you do for protein. i like that.

but seriously live-i-evil - you don't eat meat? sup with that. it tastes great. you really should eat meat.

[new05002]

Venison was killer last night. Don't worry about Brett his amp is composed of bacon

[Ancient Astronaught]

You're right, after a while you need to prioritise. If you're not willing to make sacrifices then neither should anyone else for your benefit.

I am willing to make sacrifices for other people in need, but this isn't a case of need its a case of laziness and unprofessionalism. I also don't expect anyone to sacrifice for my benefit, that is an unrealistic expectation. Like I said I cover all my bases and bring backups, if all that falls through then I am out for the count for the set and I have to accept that.

I've borrowed gear from friends when either a) I've flown in from out of town and am gearless or b) my gear eats it at soundcheck. But only from good friends who know/trust me, and who know that if anything happens to their stuff on my watch that I'll happily pay to fix/replace it. Similarly, I've loaned gear to close friends with that same understanding. But bands I don't know? Nope. Bands who are just unprofessional, even if we're "band friends?" Nope.

These are acceptable exceptions to me, If i was playing with a band that was flying in and once the date was booked they contacted us asking if they could borrow gear and acted with professionalism and tact then i would be willing to help them out. Also if someone was sound checking and their gear bit the dust I would go out of my way to help them if I can, I've done it numerous times before, its just showing up to every gig expecting someone to let them borrow gear that bugs me to no end.

I was going to say, we did it for a mini tour with a friend's band where we worked out in advance. In the vand there were 4 guitar heads, two bass heads, and then just one set of cabs for everyone. Cabs staid up between bands and you just plugged your head in and went. But these are friends and we all worked it out in advance. I've always been way more inclined to let folks borrow if they know ahead of time that they just can;t get gear to a single show for one reason or another. I'm fine with that.

All these bands have their own gear though and literally just need help for that one show or something. If you don;t have the gear to play a show, sit home and keep practicing until you do. Thats just me.

This is another acceptable exception to me, especially when touring. You have very little space in the van and if theres multiple bands touring together saving space is a precious commodity, and if they are bringing their own heads I have absolutely no issue with them borrowing cabs. And like you said single show exceptions arent a big deal to me, but 4 in a row asking to borrow gear is a bit absurd.

[Ancient Astronaught]

This is how I feel today....

[live-i-evil]

Venison was killer last night. Don't worry about Brett his amp is composed of bacon

Had to get the protein in there somewhere

This is how I feel today....

Sorry to hear that duder. After seeing wiring pics of my amp this is how I feel:

[AngryGoldfish]

I can understand where people are coming from when they borrow gear or mistreat it in some way. They don't see it as a musician's livelihood or passion, they just see them as a nuisance; a means to an end at best. Now, that doesn't excuse them, but like I say, I can understand where they're coming from. When I was 16, I was the same. I wouldn't look at an amp with awe or respect, I would just see it as a confusing thing with lights and knobs that I wish I could have done without. I was a respectful young lad, however, and was generally shy, so I never asked to borrow other people's equipment or treat other musicians with carelessness.

[Ancient Astronaught]

Sorry to hear that duder. After seeing wiring pics of my amp this is how I feel:

HAHAHAHA I know EXACTLY the feeling your describing.

[Droneforbreakfast]

I can understand where people are coming from when they borrow gear or mistreat it in some way. They don't see it as a musician's livelihood or passion, they just see them as a nuisance; a means to an end at best.

definitely.

i will lend any of my guitars without problem, that's cool, as long i know the person in question will treat it well... still, not to just any douchebag who i don't know and appears in front of me asking for my guitars, but still, i'm not as adamant with instruments, because there's not much that can go wrong there.

... now.... when it comes amplification, pedalboards, etc., i don't even like ANYONE lugging them around except for me, unless it was, imagine, someone like you guys who i know would treat that sort of gear with the respect it needs, let alone play them. i know where the cables need to go, i know how much time it has to warm up for before it sounds brutal, i know if there's something wrong happening to it beforehand, or if something is not quite right like a cable gone bad or whatever, and how to handle the gear properly in general. and i know the basics, like not plugging it in without a load or whatever, letting it warm up, not moving it until it has cooled down, lots of people don't even know that, or just don't give a shit. you just never know.

[moose23]

Then don't let them use it. It sounds like they need to learn an important lesson. I thought they might be friends struggling with gear, which would be something I've been through. Gear shouldn't hold you back from performing, that's my opinion. Sometimes you need a hand to get your ass on that second ledge.

Fully agreed with Dan here, we usually have one band supply cabs and basic kit and that'd get rotated and if someone is stuck someone else will help them out but anyone who never brings their own heads/breakables doesn't deserve to play so fuck em. It's nearly funny how many people I know at the moment who have full rigs but their heads need new power tubes so they're headless. Thankfully we have two communal spaces here so there's always someone to help out but yeah there's a line that needs drawing and these guys sound like they're crossed it.

Rarely if ever would there be guitars/basses/breakables lent unless it's a foreign band flying in or a last second emergency.

I eat meat, take drugs, drink, masturbate etc but doing my best to cut down on my alcohol intake this year. I'm 33 and can handle a lot of alcohol but I'm bored of it after 16 years and finding a few weeks with no drink makes me a much happier and productive person. Hopefully it'll last. Was veggie between 2002 and 2009 but now I just eat healthy and have a good few veggie meals every week.

[new05002]

new packages of flats for the LP and the baritone

[dazedbyday]

How do you guys feel about letting bands borrow gear? Say its a small 3 person semi-acoustic band that is friends with your band, and they always open for you when you play together but at EVERY show they never ever ever bring an amp and always ask at the last minute or sometimes don't ask at all until their getting on stage.

My thought is my personal gear is off limits to anyone not in my band, or if I'm playing a show and someones rig takes a massive shit during their set. Then I'm open to the notion of letting them borrow it, but I'm not open to supplying someone with a rig at every show we play together.

It sounds like they are starting to abuse your generosity. I would just tell them nicely that you feel like they have had more then enough time using your gear to get stuff together and they can't borrow gear anymore. This is very similar to the other band story/question you asked the other day. It is a matter of being courteous and professional. As you said if you don't have the gear to play shows then don't. That being said I have seen bands play shows with practice amps. It wasn't the greatest sound but if you perform the hell out of your show then it can work. But to constantly rely upon another band to support your band is pushing too far and taking advantage of the other band's generosity.

My band has lent gear and borrowed gear at shows mainly because it is a bitch to move equipment around this city. It has mainly been drum equipment with the shells/stands being shared but everyone has always used their own kick pedal and cymbals. I have also let other bands borrow my bass amp and cab which the bass player in my band uses anyway. I just tell the band borrowing it that it has a strict if it blows up while you are using it then you need to pay me for a new one that night. But my guitar equipment is off limits and is only for me.