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So an old flame of mine and I have been talking a lot recently... and she sent me some nude pics tonight for no reason. I still feel attached to my ex-fiancée in the midst of this and feel like shit for letting stuff get to this point with this old girl. I know that I'm using her as a crutch and placing my reservoir of intense emotions and love I'm still feeling for my ex onto this other girl and making it harder to separate what I ACTUALLY feel for her and what is just misplaced shit that I haven't been able to vent properly.

That and she is honestly way hotter than my ex-fiancée. She's got a great body and isn't afraid to show it.

I hate myself sometimes.

It makes me more mad because after all the years with my ex-fiancée I have honestly seen more of this other woman. Like, my ex never let me see her completely naked in the light (seriously... I've only seen her breasts illuminated maybe 5 times and the only other parts I've seen are a fleeting glimpse of her vagina and the occasional view of her ass) and this girl just bared all and sent me pictures. What's more strange is that this other woman hasn't even seen me in probably 5 years or more and has no idea that I've gained a shit ton of weight and look all haggard and shit, but she still (I think) wants the dick.

Plus in the last weeks I've talked to her for more hours than I had talked to me ex (in person and over the phone) in the last 2 years.

And I still love my ex. More than anything.

Fuck.

life

it can suck like this

i know it's a shit statement, but "at least you're experiencing this and are not engaged anymore"

conscience is the biggest enemy of man

DarkAxel wrote:life

it can suck like this

i know it's a shit statement, but "at least you're experiencing this and are not engaged anymore"

conscience is the biggest enemy of man

I KNOW, RIGHT?

FUCK.

the_carl wrote:I'm in my third year of college in California, but I've spent all my life prior to this in Boston. I really miss winter and storms and snow and stuff, so sometimes I will max out the air conditioning in my room so that I can sleep under a big pile of blankets and be all warm and snuggly and stuff and pretend I am somewhere other than California.

the_carl, this one's for you:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNh-IAXaB7I[/youtube]

bubstance wrote:So an old flame of mine and I have been talking a lot recently... and she sent me some nude pics tonight for no reason. I still feel attached to my ex-fiancée in the midst of this and feel like shit for letting stuff get to this point with this old girl. I know that I'm using her as a crutch and placing my reservoir of intense emotions and love I'm still feeling for my ex onto this other girl and making it harder to separate what I ACTUALLY feel for her and what is just misplaced shit that I haven't been able to vent properly.

That and she is honestly way hotter than my ex-fiancée. She's got a great body and isn't afraid to show it.

I hate myself sometimes.

It makes me more mad because after all the years with my ex-fiancée I have honestly seen more of this other woman. Like, my ex never let me see her completely naked in the light (seriously... I've only seen her breasts illuminated maybe 5 times and the only other parts I've seen are a fleeting glimpse of her vagina and the occasional view of her ass) and this girl just bared all and sent me pictures. What's more strange is that this other woman hasn't even seen me in probably 5 years or more and has no idea that I've gained a shit ton of weight and look all haggard and shit, but she still (I think) wants the dick.

Plus in the last weeks I've talked to her for more hours than I had talked to me ex (in person and over the phone) in the last 2 years.

And I still love my ex. More than anything.

Fuck.

I'd say that

a) Old flames are perfect for this crutch-thing.
b) You can have a second go I think. A third one would be highly unlikely, but seconds are sound. You might even figure out how much is projection and how much affection in that process. And you can flush your ex-fiancé out of your system.
c) Most importantly: The unfavorable comparison of your ex to this hottie shows that you have already come some way in coping. Now stop saying you still love her.

My own confession:

I had to dig Moon Duo before I could find something in Jesus and Mary Chain.

phantasmagorovich wrote:My own confession:

I had to dig Moon Duo before I could find something in Jesus and Mary Chain.

Maybe I should check out Moon Duo then...

Also, Tom Waits doesn't really do anything for me.

Like, Rain Dogs Tom Waits, or Mule Variations Tom Waits? Because, really, Mule Variations.

theavondon wrote:Like, Rain Dogs Tom Waits, or Mule Variations Tom Waits? Because, really, Mule Variations.

Like Tom Waits Tom Waits
I haven't ever gone through a Tom Waits album, and I've never had the incentive to. It's just like when I hear a Tom Waits song, on the interweb or the new songs on the radio, it's just ehhhh..
"Oh, a Tom Waits song."
Maybe I should give on a listen I guess.

Achtane wrote:

theavondon wrote:Like, Rain Dogs Tom Waits, or Mule Variations Tom Waits? Because, really, Mule Variations.

Like Tom Waits Tom Waits
I haven't ever gone through a Tom Waits album, and I've never had the incentive to. It's just like when I hear a Tom Waits song, on the interweb or the new songs on the radio, it's just ehhhh..
"Oh, a Tom Waits song."
Maybe I should give on a listen I guess.

I like him ok but really God's away on busyness and Chocolate Jesus are the only two I really LOVE

Mudfuzz wrote:

Achtane wrote:

theavondon wrote:Like, Rain Dogs Tom Waits, or Mule Variations Tom Waits? Because, really, Mule Variations.

Like Tom Waits Tom Waits
I haven't ever gone through a Tom Waits album, and I've never had the incentive to. It's just like when I hear a Tom Waits song, on the interweb or the new songs on the radio, it's just ehhhh..
"Oh, a Tom Waits song."
Maybe I should give on a listen I guess.

I like him ok but really God's away on busyness and Chocolate Jesus are the only two I really LOVE

Used to play choc jesus in my old band. That was awesome. The other guy did not want to accept the song is about a gay relationship to a black underage prostitute.

But, really Waits does not do much for me. Mule Variations is pretty cool and I have the Beautiful Maladies best-of-compilation sort of thing which is all I will ever need.

Man, friggin opinions. It's so weird reading people say this, because I love everything he's done and think he's a total genius.

phantasmagorovich wrote:Used to play choc jesus in my old band. That was awesome. The other guy did not want to accept the song is about a gay relationship to a black underage prostitute.

I'm still going with the more literal interpretation of the song, but that's amazing.

I would probably like Tom Waits a lot more if he took his voice and songwriting style and used it over a different style of music rather than his odd, Muppet-esque Vaudville. It's not bad, just difficult to really get into for me personally.

His contribution to N.A.S.A.'s first album is pretty sick and proves he's be just as good if not better in other genres(he doesn't come into until a minute into the song).
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ2znlF5TVM[/youtube]

Confession in Tumblr form:

GardenoftheDead wrote:Confession in Tumblr form:

I am soooo with you.