The Confessions Thread

[Achtane]

Thanks dudes

[dubkitty]

i would suggest that if you're going to talk with someone you first speak with a therapist rather than a psychiatrist; because psychiatrists are MDs they're more likely to go to pharmaceuticals because they can, while a therapist is more likely to talk with you and see how deep your stuff is. some people need pills to get over a hump; some need them continually; some don't need them at all. best to talk first with someone who doesn't have them as an immediate go-to option.

[D.o.S.]

this dude i'm really into is really into this older girl with a really serious boyfriend

but i like her so i can't even hate her to feel better about myself.

The way to a man's heart is not through his stomach.

Don't take it so seriously. Seduce him!

[ashdown]

i've got an awesome name for my future post-rockish (ideally) band

the problem is assembling the band


also i really havent gotten into GY!BE at all... i hear how they're MINDBLOWING but they seem really boring o me sorry, ILF...
I WILL try to listen to them some moe though.. and i hope i'll overcome this first impression

what was the first song of their's that you heard? my friend started with lift your fists like antennas and hated them.

i second starting with f#a#, in my opinion is their best

[ashdown]

actual confession time: i would say about 2/3 of the time i type up a post but don't submit it

[Schlatte]

actual confession time: i would say about 2/3 of the time i type up a post but don't submit it

+1...

[D.o.S.]

Seduction is seduction, however it manifests itself.

[ongakuka]

I have been browsing for quite some time, but only recently decided to partake in the extravaganza that is ilovefuzz. Shame on me.

[unownunown]

this dude i'm really into is really into this older girl with a really serious boyfriend

but i like her so i can't even hate her to feel better about myself.

The way to a man's heart is not through his stomach.

Don't take it so seriously. Seduce him!

psh that's a terrible idea if he's a douchebag or fairly normal guy he will be down for sex then be like meh that wasn't fun or exciting im going to go try and bang that other chick now peace. Soooooooooooooooooooooo Seduce him! with cookies/ baked goods and your personality and don't put out right away as it takes the fun out of the chase .

ahhh i made snickerdoodles a while ago too. they were fucking delicious but i gave them all away at a free market. they were wrapped in plastic with holographic my little pony stickers on them. i dunno, he's suggested we hang out alone and shit a few times and makes plans for us to do so. but he never hits me up when we're supposed to and i don't call him he's so cool and i don't want to seem stupid or desperate or WHATEVER

IT'S HARD BEING REALLY SHY AND PASSIVE, GUYS.

HERE'S ANOTHER CONFESSION. it's embarassing.

tao lin put on twitter that if you send him your address he'll send you a copy of richard yates under the condition that you review it on amazon. i sent for one. i got it. i really am enjoying this book.

[Achtane]

The way to a man's heart is not through his stomach.

Don't take it so seriously. Seduce him!

psh that's a terrible idea if he's a douchebag or fairly normal guy he will be down for sex then be like meh that wasn't fun or exciting im going to go try and bang that other chick now peace. Soooooooooooooooooooooo Seduce him! with cookies/ baked goods and your personality and don't put out right away as it takes the fun out of the chase .

ahhh i made snickerdoodles a while ago too. they were fucking delicious but i gave them all away at a free market. they were wrapped in plastic with holographic my little pony stickers on them. i dunno, he's suggested we hang out alone and shit a few times and makes plans for us to do so. but he never hits me up when we're supposed to and i don't call him he's so cool and i don't want to seem stupid or desperate or WHATEVER

IT'S HARD BEING REALLY SHY AND PASSIVE, GUYS.

BE ASSERTIVE SUCKA
ITS THE BEST KINDA GIRL

[snipelfritz]

Seriously, confidence is so goddamn sexy. Just remember that for as nervous as you are. He is at least twice as nervous. Men are pussies, we're just good at hiding it.

i would suggest that if you're going to talk with someone you first speak with a therapist rather than a psychiatrist; because psychiatrists are MDs they're more likely to go to pharmaceuticals because they can, while a therapist is more likely to talk with you and see how deep your stuff is. some people need pills to get over a hump; some need them continually; some don't need them at all. best to talk first with someone who doesn't have them as an immediate go-to option.

Yeah, this. If you're dealing with psychological issues that seems to have root causes, you should be seeing a therapist. If you're seeing patterns of uncontrollable moods, and erratic behavior, you should look into a psych-doc. Most of the time though if you're seeing a P-doc, you should also look into a therapist as well. Therapy by itself, can do wonders for the right person.

A smaller amount of people like me have the mental stability of Chernobyl and need meds to remain stable and to simply stay afloat. It's not a matter of a "false sense of happiness," it's not like, "Oh I take this pill and I'm happy all day." It's a long, arduous process of correcting the chemical imbalances in your brain over a long period of time, all the while trying to keep your life from going completely downhill. It's not a matter of being told you're unhappy and that you could be happier; It's a matter of knowing you're on the very brink of existence and one more little thing could throw you back into isolation/erratic self-destructive behaviors.

But if you(I don't even remember how this all started) are given meds, please try your best to stay on them and try not to abuse them. I say this as a complete hypocrite towards the last statement. Because if you've found out multiple times you're better off with the med than without, you know there's something wrong in your head. Nothing you should be ashamed of and nothing you should be afraid to ask for help for, but something that takes constant internal vigilance and outside support.

Sorry, most of this post was really me letting out some things that have been building up over the last few days directing it outwards so it may help others. Confession: I've been feeling like the snail on the edge of the razor for the last few days, and I'm going to have a good long cry now. BPD is fucking taking my life away from me. I'm sick of this four year tailspin that seems to have know end. Even though I've made substantial progress, then I lose a bunch of it being stupid, going off meds, being wreckless, spending 8 months of full-time work's(w/no living expenses) pay, and throwing myself back into acqdamia and trying to create/maintain a healthy social life.

Sorry, I think the benzos are kicking in so I'm just gonna try to cut myself off before the waterworks really start flying. It's just that when I know my life could've been better if I hadn't "developed" this condition and hadn't exacerbated it and continue to. I could've been productive, independent, in grad school or some kind of steady career path, maybe(and that's a big maybe) even happy, but here I am, living with my parents, still hardly able to get myself out of the house, and when I do, acting recklessly because it's the only way I can feel something anymore and escape from the hell the rest of my life has become.

In a nutshell, Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkckckckckckckcckckckckckckckckckckckckckckcccckckckkkkk! I've also started uncontrollably muttering suicidal epithets under my breath again. Not yelling them, like I used to, but mumbling, under-my-breath, with some kind of control.

You know how, after someone suddenly kills themself, everyone around him says, "I never knew he was unhappy," or "He's the last person I'd ever expect to do it." So often, I feel like I'm that guy. Putting on the act every day until it just boils over and I have to act out.

Fuck. Hopefully this is just a little episode brought on by a weekend of three 8 hour shifts and the resulting exhaustion.

[D.o.S.]

Prolly shouldn't fuck too hard with benzo's, dooder.

[The4455]

I hate full contact guitar.

[bob the r0bot]

I hate full contact guitar.

I've never heard of them but, that name makes me want to punch someone.

[snipelfritz]

Fuck how did that post get to be so long?

Prolly shouldn't fuck too hard with benzo's, dooder.

Aha, there it is!

Yeah, they can make me into a temporary mess, but it's more or less like a night of (not even heavy)drinking, but it's a much more chill stone, however the memory fuzziness is just the same. What am I talking about?

It's night like this, that I want to run off to Morocco and become a black market assassin.

In other news, fuck, I forgot where I was going with that shit.