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Crosby, Stills, and Introducing: Neil Young!

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dubkitty wrote:i'm really at a loss as to what to do about the gf/ex-gf situation. it's coming up on a month since she left. i'm really split between grieving the loss and being angry at the way i'm being dealt with. she totally won't communicate with me at all other than one-sentence e-mails or short conversations when she's come to pick stuff up from the house. i'm trying to be calm and take the high road, but i've really been left with a fucked-up situation. being confrontational is going to make things worse under any possible scenario, because it'd poison the situation and she can be quite vindictive when provoked; i'm going to have to press the point sometime because there are issues e.g. vehicles co-owned/insured which have to be settled. it's turned out to be the very thing i literally used to have nightmares about...me trying to talk to Kim and her refusing to hear anything i said. i really don't know what to do at all. at this point all i feel that i can do is let it sit until other stuff is sorted out and my situation here is more secure. i have the creepy feeling that she's sitting out there waiting for me to fail.

I feel for you, mate. My gf of almost 7 years and I just split...somewhat mutually but it was her doing. I just wanted to talk about it and work it out. but she made the decision. I'm unsure this is a good thing. In someways, I wanted this. I feel like we peaked, and I dont know if thats a bad thing. The relationship was growing dull, but it was comfortable. We never fought. Shared the same interests. Even played music together.

It's left me in some strange state between what has happened and what can happen. I want it to work out. I want that comfort back. but now there's room to try new things. and frankly, I've forgotten what its like to date. I've forgotten the feeling of finding someone new and being excited and infatuated with her. But is it worth the risk? Should I shoot for someone new and not have it work out to only try again and again or try to pursue my old relationship because it works and im content with her? Weights and scales.

Fuck, some new ass would be nice...but completely unnecessary. and who knows if I'll find anyone! Shes an attractive girl, she'll have no trouble finding someone to fuck if she wanted and I'm afraid that will happen.

Love is complicated. Sorry for only talking about myself, but I have nothing to contribute to your situation. I'm horrible with this kind of stuff. I always write best when I'm upset or depressed. Take advantage of that...write a good song.

i've got lyrics on the stove for three tunes that have been in various stages of completion for the last 2 years, as well as a new tune i was noodling around with last night. so i'll fucking well get SOMETHING out of this LOL.

and i totally relate to everything you say. my relationship had been troubled for some time, but i keep hoping that if we tried it could be something like when we were good together. on the other hand, there's a world of women out there, including a lot of women in my age cohort with nobody to keep them company. and i know just from going around and hanging out at friends' bands' shows and such that some of them are a lot nicer and more attractive than my ex. but they're not her, you know?

I'm pretty sure dating is the one area where the more experience you have, the less sense you make.

snipelfritz wrote:I'm pretty sure dating is the one area where the more experience you have, the less sense you make.

Wise words... very, very wise words.

at this point i guess you could say that i'm keeping my options open. i'm leaving room for her to come back, but there'll be a point where my patience with her "i'm not talking to you" act will be exhausted and i'll tell her to get the rest of her stuff the hell out of my house and settle up the shared property. my friend Dan wants to move out here before the end of the year and start a band with me, so this situation will be settled to my satisfaction before then. i'm not entirely averse to renting a truck, loading her furniture, and depositing it on the lawn of her parents' house where she's now staying if it comes to that. i love her dearly, but i've taken enough shit while she was here; i'm not going to take shit from a distance. and i'm going to have this sorted before i can date...the notion of bringing someone home to a house full of another woman's clothes and stuff is kinda creepy, no? not to mention that i'm going to have to be more emotionally together.

Went and bought a spiffy new bed today, because my old one is fucked. All the while there I kept thinking about sweet rigs I could be buying with that money instead.

dubkitty wrote:at this point i guess you could say that i'm keeping my options open. i'm leaving room for her to come back, but there'll be a point where my patience with her "i'm not talking to you" act will be exhausted and i'll tell her to get the rest of her stuff the hell out of my house and settle up the shared property. my friend Dan wants to move out here before the end of the year and start a band with me, so this situation will be settled to my satisfaction before then. i'm not entirely averse to renting a truck, loading her furniture, and depositing it on the lawn of her parents' house where she's now staying if it comes to that. i love her dearly, but i've taken enough shit while she was here; i'm not going to take shit from a distance. and i'm going to have this sorted before i can date...the notion of bringing someone home to a house full of another woman's clothes and stuff is kinda creepy, no? not to mention that i'm going to have to be more emotionally together.

good to hear.

ashdown wrote:

dubkitty wrote:at this point i guess you could say that i'm keeping my options open. i'm leaving room for her to come back, but there'll be a point where my patience with her "i'm not talking to you" act will be exhausted and i'll tell her to get the rest of her stuff the hell out of my house and settle up the shared property. my friend Dan wants to move out here before the end of the year and start a band with me, so this situation will be settled to my satisfaction before then. i'm not entirely averse to renting a truck, loading her furniture, and depositing it on the lawn of her parents' house where she's now staying if it comes to that. i love her dearly, but i've taken enough shit while she was here; i'm not going to take shit from a distance. and i'm going to have this sorted before i can date...the notion of bringing someone home to a house full of another woman's clothes and stuff is kinda creepy, no? not to mention that i'm going to have to be more emotionally together.

good to hear.

+1!

Start taking the initiative, mate.

i figured that i'd give her a month, which will be over next weekend. at that point i'm going to phone her and say "so, what are you going to do? there's things that have to get settled if you aren't coming back."

That sounds solid to me, dude.

Girls confuse me

Band names that are several words without spaces bother me.

maz91379 wrote:Why can't we be all like whoa so you might or might not find me that attractive but i think you are pretty i'll give you love not fuck other people and do my best to get along with you/ do fun things together. It would be so much quicker and simpler than the whole hold cards close to chest and do the whole Whoa i like you / I like you too thing. I mean like i don't even mean to use this as a quick way to sex . I just want to be on the same page as someone and then build pillow forts cuddle and bake snacks together goddamnit.

In the words of K.V.: A little less love, a little more common decency.