The Confessions Thread

[Achtane]

I read North Korea's news every day because it's so entertaining sometimes.

"His field guidance produced such a moving story as 'Coast Artillerywomen and Medicated Cream'"

"Sandy dust was observed in various parts of the country."

"A class education hall has been newly arranged at the People's Palace of Culture in Pyongyang. It is composed of the anti-american wing, the wing of class education principles and the anti-Japanese wing. Also exhibited are materials showing that the united states has been the sworn enemy of the Korean people from olden times. "

[tuffteef]

if they hadn't been murdered by the cia(ringo and paul are actually robots) they would have gone shit just like the rolling stones with their maroon five rip off shit.

Love the Beatles, but IMO(warning:controversy ahead) John did go to shit for the most part in his post-Beatles career.

Paul actually progressed and moved music forward, George was just awesome in all regards, and Ringo...was Ringo. How can you hate that lovable mug?

chest bamp

[Officer Bukowski]

...you can always blame it on them having a huge vagina and deny it ever happened.

I lol'd

this I pretty much exactly how I would handle that situation

but seriously, nah. I'm not down with fat chicks. I don't want to hurt their feelings but I wouldn't get with one.

[D.o.S.]

...you can always blame it on them having a huge vagina and deny it ever happened.

I lol'd

this I pretty much exactly how I would handle that situation

but seriously, nah. I'm not down with fat chicks. I don't want to hurt their feelings but I wouldn't get with one.

See, you say that...

But once she gets on top, it's over. Fall in love, or be asphyxiated. So you reach and you grab and you even find delight in some of these mounds of material. Yet all the while you resist-how you resist!-letting three hundred pounds take you over.

[Fuzzy Fred]

...you can always blame it on them having a huge vagina and deny it ever happened.

I lol'd

this I pretty much exactly how I would handle that situation

but seriously, nah. I'm not down with fat chicks. I don't want to hurt their feelings but I wouldn't get with one.

See, you say that...

But once she gets on top, it's over. Fall in love, or be asphyxiated. So you reach and you grab and you even find delight in some of these mounds of material. Yet all the while you resist-how you resist!-letting three hundred pounds take you over.

Apparently, once you go for fat chicks, its called hoggin. My friend told me that, because he likes fat chicks, so him and other weight enthuthiasts go hoggin.

To me, if I ever called going after a girl "hoggin" that would kill any boner i could ever have

[D.o.S.]

My roommate left last night and told the other two of us "if I come home with the fat blonde girl, kick me out. Just kick me out."

Not to be a sexist pig or anything.

[Fuzzy Fred]

If you can't be a sexist pig on ilf, where can you be a sexist pig?

[D.o.S.]

Your mom's house!

[Fuzzy Fred]

Your mom's house!

...

my mom's dead you dick...

[D.o.S.]

MEANS SHE'S DOWN FOR EVERYTHING!



If you're not bullshitting me though, that sucks.

[Fuzzy Fred]

nah, I'm kidding, i have a messed up sense of humour.

anyways, my mom hates when i act like a sexist pig, so if you ever went to my mom's house, she would make you act like a decent person, or she'd probably hit you with something

[D.o.S.]

YEAH SHE'D HIT ME WITH TWELVE GALLONS OF LOVE JUICE!
AND THEN I'D BRING YOU IN TO THE ROOM FOR A CANDID FAMILY PHOTO!
OR, SHOULD I SAY, A PHOT-OH!

NSFW: show

you sick fuck.

[Fuzzy Fred]

YEAH SHE'D HIT ME WITH BRICK!
AND THEN I'D BRING YOU IN TO THE ROOM FOR A CANDID FAMILY PHOTO!
OR, SHOULD I SAY, A PHOT-OH!

NSFW: show

you sick fuck.

fixed

[D.o.S.]

real confession: I always forget how good Kid A is when tracks off it just come on. What an incredible record.

[Grrface]

I'm actually considering selling plasma in order to fund pedal purchases. I mean, I'm not using it, so why not?