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Had a really vivid dream about my ex ex ex ex last night. Weird.

Hope the damage isn't too bad Walt.

How do you people handle addiction and shit? Every day I say I'm not going to sit in front of my computer and play video games, and every day I end up spending any time not at work playing video games, the literal second I get home. It's awful and I know it's eating me alive and depriving me of doing better things, but I can't stop it. Shit, I don't even think of it just next thing I know I'm playing video games.

Recognize that the video games are not the problem and figure out what would make you happier/more fulfilled at the end of the day and try to do that instead?

I mean I know that I am the problem here. I want to study Japanese/read it/play music/go to the gym/study for my Cisco certifications, but that all takes to the back seat the second I see my PC. It feels like I've fully corrupted myself and I (addicted) don't want myself to be better when I can just play video games.

Just unplug it for the evening and see what happens. Don't "try" to do anything else. Just leave your computer off.

So this might be super personal to me, but building games actually help me a lot. Games like ksp or besiege. When I start to feel weird about not building stuff in real life I go to those games, and then I end up sitting there trying to figure out how I'm going to make something or solve some problem. From there I just kinda make the jump to building in the real world as an extension, basically doing the same thing but with different rules.

That's what really helps me if I find myself playing too much. I get away from RPGs, skinner boxes, and long story driven games and move to games that trade those things for really complex problem solving. I hope that helps, it could be way off base for your particular situation.

How secure do all y'all feel in your jobs? I've had at least one person crying in my office or theirs every day for about three weeks...this is not normal or healthy. Everyone is afraid all the time.

My job sucks and I don't care about it or about trying very hard at it anymore.

Also, guess I lost health insurance assistance without warning 'cause I'm now -$300! Hell yeah!

Invisible Man wrote:How secure do all y'all feel in your jobs? I've had at least one person crying in my office or theirs every day for about three weeks...this is not normal or healthy. Everyone is afraid all the time.

I finally got a job for the first time in 15 years of working that lets me pay my bills on time AND save a modest amount of money. There's no growth in the work, it's highly stressful, and it's not what I really want to be doing, but I'm terrified of leaving it because I feel like this is the only opportunity to not live hand-to-mouth I will ever get. Even with what I'm getting, it's highly unlikely I'll be able to own a home or afford to start a family. It is very difficult to have any kind of hopeful feeling about the future despite knowing that this is a relatively fortunate position to be in.

Invisible Man wrote:How secure do all y'all feel in your jobs? I've had at least one person crying in my office or theirs every day for about three weeks...this is not normal or healthy. Everyone is afraid all the time.

Stress is a management technique sometimes. Is it the overall context of university budgets / US economics and whatnot that is weighing on them? Or is it something micro like how a specific manager / boss handles his coworkers?

Strange Tales wrote:How do you people handle addiction and shit? Every day I say I'm not going to sit in front of my computer and play video games, and every day I end up spending any time not at work playing video games, the literal second I get home. It's awful and I know it's eating me alive and depriving me of doing better things, but I can't stop it. Shit, I don't even think of it just next thing I know I'm playing video games.

D.o.S. wrote:Just unplug it for the evening and see what happens. Don't "try" to do anything else. Just leave your computer off.

Yup. See what happens. If you can't make it through the night without turning it on then you have to treat it like any other addiction and cut it out completely. I had to turn off my home internet at one point because I was really unhappy about how much time I was wasting. I would go out to use it if I really needed something -- you can use your phone or go to the library.

Disarm D'arcy wrote:

Invisible Man wrote:How secure do all y'all feel in your jobs? I've had at least one person crying in my office or theirs every day for about three weeks...this is not normal or healthy. Everyone is afraid all the time.

Stress is a management technique sometimes. Is it the overall context of university budgets / US economics and whatnot that is weighing on them? Or is it something micro like how a specific manager / boss handles his coworkers?

From what I understand, I Man is the one that's regularly given the job of firing people and he doesn't really have a say in it. So, he's gotta bear the brunt of the sadness/anxiety from people due to decisions made from those above him (I think that's how it is based on what I've read, but feel free to chime in, Invisible).

Eh 50/50. Half the time it's my decision, and I feel good about those. Mostly because it takes so much for me to get to that point that I know it's probably long overdue. It's shit like...when someone had a fucking stroke in her office, goes into a coma, is on leave for three months, then came back and gets laid off because her position was eliminated. Or when someone who wants to retire in a year won't have her contract renewed. Or the librarian we had to cut to part-time despite the fact that she's the only librarian...Or or or or or or or a half dozen more from the past two months.

Higher ed is a clusterfuck, right now in particular. And the place I work for is leading the charge, I fear. The president is looking out for himself, as he knows his time is probably limited (college is losing a lot of money), meaning he's here maybe one day a week, and I'm left holding the bag on shit I don't agree with philosophically, financially, or ethically. But that's my job.

I do this for my wife and kids, and am happy to give them a better shake than I had (my childhood was a fucking nightmare--mental health issues, not very safe, scumfuck family, general Detroit-ness). For fuck's sake what does it take to scrape together a living and not need a moral shower at the end of the day?

And DD: it's both. when unemployment is low, college enrollments tend to be, too, especially for 'adult ed' which is largely what this place trades in. Our enrollment dropped to about a third of what it was five or six years ago. But this place in particular does operate on a culture of 'managerial science' (an oxymoron if ever there was one), KPIs, fear, bullying personalities, &c.

I dunno. I try not to post about higher ed a lot...I usually get baited into talking about it by others who are resentful/interested in this stuff...but I lose sleep every night over this shit.

Chankgeez wrote:

Invisible Man wrote:Muddy tunnel

Chankgeez wrote:ew