ilovefuzz.com

Nothing has gotten better.

On top of the stuff I posted about last time, my job has cut my hours to the point where I need to switch jobs. So suddenly I can't afford anything anymore and I feel like shit. Literally, everything was going so well at my job then boom, 100% ass. This sucks because I got tickets to see Ghost and lacked the self control to not buy gear, I also had to spend cash on public transport which further hurt my bank account.

Part of me wants to blame the new guy they put in charge because hes a complete dunderhead. Part of me wants to blame myself for not being more available. Part of me feels like I deserve it for not being moneysmart at all.

At this point I dunno what I'm going to do. I feel shackled by trying to get by in a society that's not kind to those who need time to get settled in to being an adult, but at the same time I haven't ever really felt like the best person in the world and feel like I deserve the misfortune. Everything just feels black and hopeless, like why the fuck am I trying anymore? I was better off a lonely loser, sure no progress was being made but so far it felt a hell of a lot better rusting in place than it does to trudge forward.

The only happiness I've really had was the Ghost concert, if only for the emotional release. I was a crying mess during Circle, just a sobbing idiot in the middle of a pit of metalheads, but god damn did it feel good be vulnerable again for 6 minutes.

I would say more but the last thing I need is to be 5150'd, so I'll keep those words to myself.

BitchPudding wrote:Nothing has gotten better.

On top of the stuff I posted about last time, my job has cut my hours to the point where I need to switch jobs. So suddenly I can't afford anything anymore and I feel like shit. Literally, everything was going so well at my job then boom, 100% ass. This sucks because I got tickets to see Ghost and lacked the self control to not buy gear, I also had to spend cash on public transport which further hurt my bank account.

Part of me wants to blame the new guy they put in charge because hes a complete dunderhead. Part of me wants to blame myself for not being more available. Part of me feels like I deserve it for not being moneysmart at all.

At this point I dunno what I'm going to do. I feel shackled by trying to get by in a society that's not kind to those who need time to get settled in to being an adult, but at the same time I haven't ever really felt like the best person in the world and feel like I deserve the misfortune. Everything just feels black and hopeless, like why the fuck am I trying anymore? I was better off a lonely loser, sure no progress was being made but so far it felt a hell of a lot better rusting in place than it does to trudge forward.

The only happiness I've really had was the Ghost concert, if only for the emotional release. I was a crying mess during Circle, just a sobbing idiot in the middle of a pit of metalheads, but god damn did it feel good be vulnerable again for 6 minutes.

I would say more but the last thing I need is to be 5150'd, so I'll keep those words to myself.

I've been where you are. Recently. A year and a half ago, as my marriage and professional life fell apart, I went to a Ghost concert, alone, and did some regrettable things. I vividly remember being so caught up in the crowd and the music that I felt the peace that had been eluding me. Then, instantly, real life came flooding back to me. 3 months later, I had no marriage, no job, and no sanity. I hope it turns out better for you, but I want you to know that no matter what it feels like now, there is something good on the other side of it. You'll get there.

I hope your right.

Cockroaches in my apartment. :c

cyclothymia.

http://approachanxiety.com/2011/06/walk-like-you-have-a-right-to-be-there/

A friend of mine died today. The world is stupid.

Shitty. Condolences.

GardenoftheDead wrote:A friend of mine died today. The world is stupid.

I'm sorry to hear that, it's a terrible feeling.
If you ever feel the need to talk about it or let off some steam, feel free to PM me

I hate anxiety. I have sent a lot of messages into the world and it feels like no one ever replies to me. A guy I used to be friends with back in Kansas City has dragged his feet for a year over sending me a pedal (my Frequency Analyzer) and doesn't reply to my messages. A pedalbuilder said I won a free pedal 5 months ago, but won't deliver or reply to messages, even after I purchased a pedal from them. I traded for my girlfriend's Christmas gift, a cheap Tele I am rebuilding, but the other party isn't replying to PMs or email, even though I know they received my package. I shipped a pedal for repair and ordered a custom from a third builder but they haven't replied in 2+ weeks. My ex-wife isn't replying to my messages regarding my son and the birthday package I sent him. I messaged my sister about the guitars and Lego sets being stored at her house, to see about getting things shipped to me, but who knows how much of my stuff she has allocated to herself in the last year.

It just feels like everyone is trying to take advantage of me. I'm tempted to just sell my stuff on Reverb from now on and only trade with hbomb.

Is the tele from someone here?

Does someone need a visit from the ghost of Xmas future?

neonblack wrote:Is the tele from someone here?

Does someone need a visit from the ghost of Xmas future?

Yeah, it is. My last email from him was on the 13th, claiming he would ship on the 14th. No messages or replies since, via email or PM.

chuckjaywalk wrote:I hate anxiety. I have sent a lot of messages into the world and it feels like no one ever replies to me. A guy I used to be friends with back in Kansas City has dragged his feet for a year over sending me a pedal (my Frequency Analyzer) and doesn't reply to my messages. A pedalbuilder said I won a free pedal 5 months ago, but won't deliver or reply to messages, even after I purchased a pedal from them. I traded for my girlfriend's Christmas gift, a cheap Tele I am rebuilding, but the other party isn't replying to PMs or email, even though I know they received my package. I shipped a pedal for repair and ordered a custom from a third builder but they haven't replied in 2+ weeks. My ex-wife isn't replying to my messages regarding my son and the birthday package I sent him. I messaged my sister about the guitars and Lego sets being stored at her house, to see about getting things shipped to me, but who knows how much of my stuff she has allocated to herself in the last year.

It just feels like everyone is trying to take advantage of me. I'm tempted to just sell my stuff on Reverb from now on and only trade with hbomb.

Dude! I will trade with you all the time yo!
sucks so much when people shut you out on contact.

if it wasn't for my wife and kids and the good people of ILF I would have not contact in my life outside of work.

hbombgraphics wrote:

chuckjaywalk wrote:I hate anxiety. I have sent a lot of messages into the world and it feels like no one ever replies to me. A guy I used to be friends with back in Kansas City has dragged his feet for a year over sending me a pedal (my Frequency Analyzer) and doesn't reply to my messages. A pedalbuilder said I won a free pedal 5 months ago, but won't deliver or reply to messages, even after I purchased a pedal from them. I traded for my girlfriend's Christmas gift, a cheap Tele I am rebuilding, but the other party isn't replying to PMs or email, even though I know they received my package. I shipped a pedal for repair and ordered a custom from a third builder but they haven't replied in 2+ weeks. My ex-wife isn't replying to my messages regarding my son and the birthday package I sent him. I messaged my sister about the guitars and Lego sets being stored at her house, to see about getting things shipped to me, but who knows how much of my stuff she has allocated to herself in the last year.

It just feels like everyone is trying to take advantage of me. I'm tempted to just sell my stuff on Reverb from now on and only trade with hbomb.

Dude! I will trade with you all the time yo!
sucks so much when people shut you out on contact.

if it wasn't for my wife and kids and the good people of ILF I would have not contact in my life outside of work.

What gets under my skin is that I would be quick to forgive if I was just given timelines or something. Instead, it is just silence. I'm pretty understanding, I just need to know what to expect. Silence just makes me anxious. Honestly, if I can recover my guitars and most of my Legos from my sister, get the pedal I ordered and the repair back, and the guitar I traded for, I will be happy. The rest can just fade away.

SIlence sucks, especially when you can see someone got your message and is just ignoring it.

And I know you are being straight up about this because I have sent you several, "Hey I can't ship that when I thought I could" messages and you are always very cool about it.

hbombgraphics wrote:SIlence sucks, especially when you can see someone got your message and is just ignoring it.

And I know you are being straight up about this because I have sent you several, "Hey I can't ship that when I thought I could" messages and you are always very cool about it.

Yeah, delays happen, just let me know so I don't check my mailbox three times a day, you know?