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I'm locked out of my house (on my birthday of all fucking days) and are starting to get lightheaded from the heat and the walk from work . worst of all is that my SO is doing her psych research gig until 6 and my landlord is not answering. I feel hella stupid right now. :|

...happy birthday...

This is how my day is going.

sending Good Vibes to EveryOne on this Page.

I'm too old for where I am.

I'm so fucking tired of feeling the pressure from everyone I know to get a job and start my life already. It feels like this whole week has just been one large vice slowly squishing me like a bug. Whats worse is I get chest, joint and head pain when I stress so all of this is translating into IRL pain on my body to the point where I don't wanna even get up in the morning.

And its not like I don't want a job, far from it. I'm just done with searching for a few reasons.

Other than the reasons I've stated above, I'm tired of doing face to face interviews that go super well with no call backs. I feel like, if your not gonna fucking hire me, don't bother calling me in. Don't jerk me around. If there's a bright side to that, its that I don't stress at interviews because I don't expect to get hired at all. Buddha level chill. Expect nothing till hired. But it still aggravates me and makes me wonder why I fucking try and go through all this job placement help when there are no jobs resulting from them. Its all well and good that I can interview and shit, but I don't think anyone wants to be the guy that say "Yeah, I get a lot of interviews, but zero jobs." LAME.

The other thing is even if I do get the job, I'm pretty much certain that it'll only last 6 months at best. Something will happen that will get me fired because of ether my condition or my morbid depression. And even if I tell my interviewers or potential bosses that I have depression as a warning, odds are I won't get hired because they arn't willing to risk it. I don't blame them ether, I wouldn't hire me.

At this point the only things that make me feel like I'm worth anything are my friends on ILF, my fiance, my son and my band. I only ever feel alive whenever I'm here, with my family or playing on stage. Nothing else feels right. Working an office doesn't feel right. Being someone I'm not fucking scares me.

I don't know what the fuck to do anymore.

BitchPudding wrote:I'm so fucking tired of feeling the pressure from everyone I know to get a job and start my life already. It feels like this whole week has just been one large vice slowly squishing me like a bug. Whats worse is I get chest, joint and head pain when I stress so all of this is translating into IRL pain on my body to the point where I don't wanna even get up in the morning.

And its not like I don't want a job, far from it. I'm just done with searching for a few reasons.

Other than the reasons I've stated above, I'm tired of doing face to face interviews that go super well with no call backs. I feel like, if your not gonna fucking hire me, don't bother calling me in. Don't jerk me around. If there's a bright side to that, its that I don't stress at interviews because I don't expect to get hired at all. Buddha level chill. Expect nothing till hired. But it still aggravates me and makes me wonder why I fucking try and go through all this job placement help when there are no jobs resulting from them. Its all well and good that I can interview and shit, but I don't think anyone wants to be the guy that say "Yeah, I get a lot of interviews, but zero jobs." LAME.

The other thing is even if I do get the job, I'm pretty much certain that it'll only last 6 months at best. Something will happen that will get me fired because of ether my condition or my morbid depression. And even if I tell my interviewers or potential bosses that I have depression as a warning, odds are I won't get hired because they arn't willing to risk it. I don't blame them ether, I wouldn't hire me.

At this point the only things that make me feel like I'm worth anything are my friends on ILF, my fiance, my son and my band. I only ever feel alive whenever I'm here, with my family or playing on stage. Nothing else feels right. Working an office doesn't feel right. Being someone I'm not fucking scares me.

I don't know what the fuck to do anymore.

Hey dude, don't give up the fight. And also fuck other peoples expectations of you. You will never please everybody no matter how much you try so just please yourself and the family you have chosen for your self. At least then you know someone will be happy. YOU!
Keep your negative thoughts in check. They never help they just hinder. Be a better friend to yourself. You deserve it mate. Just focus on your own goals and dreams for you and your chosen family.

Hugs man. Bigtime.

Just effing stressful sometimes. I need a break.

Job searching sucks. It took me 6 months after I found a job out of college. Something will come. I am strong believer that everything in life happens for a reason. Maybe you didn't get those jobs because your "dream" job is going to be posted next week and you are going to nail the interview and get it.

untilshewokeme wrote:Job searching sucks. It took me 6 months after I found a job out of college. Something will come. I am strong believer that everything in life happens for a reason. Maybe you didn't get those jobs because your "dream" job is going to be posted next week and you are going to nail the interview and get it.

17 months to find a "real" job for me. It was not the least stressful period of my life, that's for sure.

USPS says my package was delivered. My mailbox begs to differ.

UPDATE:
The ebay seller didn't insure it. AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ear infection. Fucking classic.

UglyCasanova wrote:Ear infection. Fucking classic.

Dude, I got one on Thursday. I'm all prednisolone, amoxicilline and codeine for a few days. Started hurting at like 9PM, went straight to SOS Médecin (it's a non profit funded by the state which takes care of the continuity of the medical public service). You probably have heard of them in Michael Moore's Sicko. The Parisian doctor to which Micheal says "Why get there so fast, it's only a tummy ache!" or something along those lines while they hop in the car is from SOS Médecin.

They gave me a consult and enough meds for the night and morning, before I could go to the pharmacist. Taken care of so soon that it hasn't hurt since Friday afternoon.

I LOVE LIVING IN A COMMUNIST COUNTRY.

You're preaching to the choir. Free healthcare FTW! I'm seeing a specialist on Monday. I get it every winter, so they might as well just put me up for next year too.

untilshewokeme wrote:Job searching sucks. It took me 6 months after I found a job out of college. Something will come. I am strong believer that everything in life happens for a reason. Maybe you didn't get those jobs because your "dream" job is going to be posted next week and you are going to nail the interview and get it.

Shit, I've been searching for like over a year.

But serious problem time: I want to go the liquor store then pick up Thai food, but they are both two blocks away in opposite directions!