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futuresailors wrote:

phantasmagorovich wrote:So, I cannot decide if this goes into happiness... or spite..., so I will put it here.

Me and my wife have now moved out, I spent the last four days painting walls, getting drunk, carrying crates filled with my ~800 books and my few clothes. She moved into her new place, I have put my shit in my new-place-to.be but I can't move in yet because my landlady is mad at me cause I thrashed a pole on the street in front of the house while trying to park the fucking truck I was using to haul my shit over there but she didn't want me to move in before first of september anyway, bitch tells me as I move in first of august like i thought we had agreed. And then later on we were at a party and this buddy of mine amok-sleepwalks and cuts open his fucking hand. He feel asleep on a chair and at some point starts sleepwalking while he dreams of slaying his co-workers. So we have to drive him to the hospital and only get to bed at like six in the morning and my wife doesn't even want to help me make fun of the doctors and makes me feel like an idiot for making fun of how stupid they all looked. And the next mornig we start to paint the whole fucking house. The same house I got about a year ago. There is some post with a picture of it - that was the same day I got some knives and a Hoof. So fuck all we paint the house until we both fall over from sleep depravation and then we wake up because our feet are sticky and it turns out our dog puked on our feet under our blanket while we were asleep and we have to get up in the middle of the night to clean ourselves and turn the mattress around (no blankets, everything is at our new homes, remember) and then we have a wild awesome goodbye fuck which almost made me cry but instead i hit and bit and fucked her. Next day the dude from the real estate company tells us we fucked up the painting and he wouldn't give us our deposit back until the bloke shows up that moves in after us and tells the real estate guy he doesn't care about the walls but he wants the doors painted which by law is something the owner has to do, so we got lucky and the real estate dude got fucked. Then our car is broken but filled with stuff that needs to be put in the waste plant. So we have to repair that shit and now I am sunburnt and finally drunk sitting in a café in cologne that has WLAN.

phantasmagorovich wrote:[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4yBvvGi_2A[/youtube]

snipelfritz wrote:

phantasmagorovich wrote:[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4yBvvGi_2A[/youtube]

good lord, that was hilarious. I lol'd so hard when he said, "so the contents don't squirt in your face." Also, don't monkeys open bananas from the other end somehow? Fucking heathens.

futuresailors wrote:

snipelfritz wrote:

phantasmagorovich wrote:[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4yBvvGi_2A[/youtube]

good lord, that was hilarious. I lol'd so hard when he said, "so the contents don't squirt in your face." Also, don't monkeys open bananas from the other end somehow? Fucking heathens.

My girlfriend opens bananas from the other end...

Seriously. I guess you can pinch it and it'll pop right open.

DarkAxel wrote:

futuresailors wrote:

snipelfritz wrote:

phantasmagorovich wrote:[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4yBvvGi_2A[/youtube]

good lord, that was hilarious. I lol'd so hard when he said, "so the contents don't squirt in your face." Also, don't monkeys open bananas from the other end somehow? Fucking heathens.

My girlfriend opens bananas from the other end...

Seriously. I guess you can pinch it and it'll pop right open.

your girlfriend is becoming some kind of a legend around here, doesn't she

btw i do it too... because when you don't do it, it can sometimes damage the banana shit inside - if it's older than it should be for example

tuffteef wrote:bananas are amazing

maz91379 wrote:But using one for pot is just lots unpleasant .