ilovefuzz.com

A lot has happened the last few months, but I'm posting in this thread to focus on the positives.

The big negative has been my partner's health. She is getting treatment and will be for the rest of her life, but at least we know what we are dealing with now.

The gooder news:
I got promoted. Third time in 4 years with this company. After a long career of not getting recognition, this company has given me every raise and promotion I've been up for. It's a real change.
I'm volunteering with the high school band. I'm not super useful, but I can help the percussion players with their instruments.
I love my cats.

The ILF news:
I'm giving up on Eurorack. I have no knack for it and it just leaves me frustrated and disappointed.
I haven't flipped a pedal in almost 3 years.
I'm reducing my guitar headcount from an unmanageable amount to 3: Strat, Reverend, Rickenbacker. Still figuring out if the Ric will be a 6 or 12 string.

Eyy shoutout to the OGs!

Getting on meds for my mental health + getting an offical diagnosis of ADHD has made a huge impact on my life. Now that I've got the right meds, I can concentrate better, I've been able to deal with my emotions in a healthy way and overall have a much more positive outlook than I did at the start of the year.

My son started high school this year, which is a head trip. I'm only 32so it hasn't been that long for me....at least 2012 doesn't FEEL like it was that long ago. Being a father is weird as fuck but my kids are awesome so its all worth it.

Me and Mrs. Pudding's anniversary is coming up Saturday. 6 years married already, and every god damn day I'm reminded of how important she's been to me in getting well and sorting out my life. She really helped me grow up when I was scared to. She showed me growing up doesn't mean losing who you are, it just means you get to refine whats there to the ideal version of you minus any immature baggage. I love her so so much. I'm so lucky I get to spend my life with her.

My band has been really popping off as well. We've managed to play a show a month at least (sometimes two) since last November. Really made a mark in our local scene and we hope to branch out soon. But fuck man, it feels good to be making music with people who have a similar work ethic to mine who also understand the vision. We have another EP prepped for release early next year + an album we're working on that we hope we
ll be able to get recorded later next year. I'm so grateful to have this outlet. I would have been dead a long time ago if it wasn't for music.

I miss this site too. It makes me so happy that this is all still here. So much of my early years when I started playing can be tracked on this site. I really grew up with a lot of you fools. I still remember posting on here at like Midnight my time not thinking anyone would be up, and suddenly I gained a bunch of European friends. I learned so much here about gear, music, bands, and so much of that went on to inform how I make art and do what I do.

I miss you guys a bunch. I hope this site never dissappears. ILF foreverrrrrrrrrrr <3

My last post was exactly a month ago.
I'm single now.
I own a Geddy Lee Minimoog.
I'm a modern-day warrior.

Just got a new kitten. My black cat Sam has just started to warm up to her. They’re sleeping on my partner’s pillow rn.

I saw Gost and Perturbator play last weekend. It was an amazing show and my first show in six years

I just managed to rehouse a beat-up Game Boy Advance SP in a first attempt! Now it has a nice golden Zelda theme chassis. And fortunately the display still looks as clean as on the first day. My 15 year-old son is going to receive this one as a gift for Christmas along with the old Game Boy Color "Zelda Oracle of Seasons".

i’ve been totally wrapped up in working on project guitars and guitar projects since February, and hadn’t even plugged in a board since then. i finally got myself to quit working for a minute and played the blue DeArmond with the Gold Tones through the Normie Board, the new Catalinbread Pads, and the SMMH. at one point i left the delay running on infinite cycling and i had completely forgotten how much i love doing that. i know i have a good loop when i can leave it on for hours and not get sick of it. if i was a scheduled kind of guy i’d start doing Play Days, but i’m not that organized.

I found a cheap practice space a couple blocks away and decided to rent it, on a whim. I've just been going there to play guitar real loud, which I don't have the opportunity to do elsewhere. I get to go once a week, after work. I realized that it's been [redacted] years since I've been in a room with nothing else to do and nothing to distract me from playing guitar.

I'm really out of practice because I haven't been playing much this year, so most of the time it's really sloppy, bad riffs, and then eventually I start doing Frippertronics shit with my DD-20, which is pretty fun. I'm recording it with a little Zoom handheld, but I haven't listened back to the recordings and not sure if I will.

It doesn't really feel like happiness, excitement, or even contentedness, but it feels like... something not bad anyway. Healthier than stopping at the bar for a couple boilermakers, anyway, which is what I was doing instead.

friendship wrote: ↑Fri Nov 21, 2025 4:21 pm I found a cheap practice space a couple blocks away and decided to rent it, on a whim. I've just been going there to play guitar real loud, which I don't have the opportunity to do elsewhere. I get to go once a week, after work. I realized that it's been [redacted] years since I've been in a room with nothing else to do and nothing to distract me from playing guitar.

I'm really out of practice because I haven't been playing much this year, so most of the time it's really sloppy, bad riffs, and then eventually I start doing Frippertronics shit with my DD-20, which is pretty fun. I'm recording it with a little Zoom handheld, but I haven't listened back to the recordings and not sure if I will.

It doesn't really feel like happiness, excitement, or even contentedness, but it feels like... something not bad anyway. Healthier than stopping at the bar for a couple boilermakers, anyway, which is what I was doing instead.

If you gather together your creative juices and harness them, you never can tell where they'll take you.

If you are at the "store it up" stage then keep at it! At some point you will go over the recordings and react/respond to them. A direction will present itself and it will feel as natural and right as anything. And it will have arrived via a conversation with yourself. The first and most pivotal part of conversation is listening.

If you are recording a message to your future self... at some point Future Friendship will pick up what you're been putting down and act/react accordingly.

Years ago, after graduating from college, I found myself at a dead-end job trying to pay off my college debt. I was living in a beer commercial ("Living for the weekend"). I had no energy for any creative act, I couldn't write, I couldn't paint, I couldn't be arsed to pick up my guitar or bass.

All I could do is scribble things on the pages of my desk calendar at work. Any random cluster of words that popped into my head, any random doodle that my hand/pen arrived at... but that was all. Was it leading anywhere or was it a waste of time? What was I doing with my life?

The equation of turning time into money by which you buy your time out of hawk so you can do things you want to wasn't working for me. I got the equation all wrong. I went into debt to pursue certain things that debt was sapping the joy out of and I wasn't pursuing those things, just trying to dig my way out of debt.

Then one day I noticed that the doodles/scribbles from one day could be seen through the pages of today like an onion skin. And so the idea of animating the random bursts of whatever presented itself.

It took years for the thing to take shape and I don't know how "successful" the finished animation is... but what it represents for me personally on a creative and psychic level is incredibly valuable.

In nature creation and destruction are linked... symbiotic. In our attempt to make something "that will last" we isolate and starve and choke off things. But by incorporating the creative in the destructive and seeing how we perceive which is which based on context... the work presents itself.
https://youtu.be/I0vzcIk4PCQ?si=3j6wnHtCtgehqVAk

It is "A Work In Progress" because it is ongoing but also it is a work in and of progress because everything going on is still ongoing.

That was wonderful Seance! The voice over of corporate bullshit speak clashed perfectly with the creative soul of the animation doing its best to fight back and escape from that world. The audio made me think of some of Godspeed’s quieter tracks - the ones with the field recordings of disembodied voices haunting the records - stuff that’s on Lift Yr Fists Like Antennas to Heaven I think.
The best parts if the animation were the later sequences when the drawings began to evolve over time - the early stuff was to rapid for my old eyes, but I appreciate the feeling behind it… it makes me think of the hours I wasted doing bullshit jobs after I graduated… thankfully did get into creative work eventually but frequently thought about giving up from trying to be an artist… coming home after spending all day on my feet in a warehouse and trying to learn how to use animation software was brutal… I hope things are better for you now