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Lol, I give up all rights to the name Shit Icing so it's all yours. Try the trial version of Ozone and see if you like it. Also read their free mastering guide, really good information.

I second ozone. You can also put together your own set of plugins for mastering using different eqs, compressors, limiters, maximizers etc. But not to be a downer, if you don't really know how to do it then presets won't really help. They may make it louder but you are missing out on a lot on what mastering can do for you if you just click on a preset. Ozone is a good place to start learning the basics though as it has bits of everything and you can change the order of the components.

sounds good.

yah, i'm not sure how in depth i want to get in The Magical World Of Mixing. it just helped a lot when we had something decent recorded with meh mixing to try out different mastering presets and go with which sounded best. 'm not really trying to do Super Impressive Achievent Results. just take stuff done for fun and make it more decent?

guh. why can't i just be big time famous where i roll out of bed, stumble through a field of grrLs with daddy issues passing out blowjobs, wallow in my refreshed daily pile of blow and play around with musics? then have PEOPLE to do all the parts of making songs i don't like?

Hahaha, if only. If you don't mind, I can help with mixing and/or mastering. I am just starting to work at a studio and I am always looking for new stuff to practice on. I can try my hand at your stuff for free since it will benefit me for practice and you might get something good to use. I have pro tools and logic on my computer with a decent home set up.