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snipelfritz wrote:Dear behndy how do I convince her to let me put it in the butt?

Sincerely,
Snippled-fritz

real answer - oof. what's worked for me -

wait until she says, "if you want that so much, why don't you let me put MY fingers in YOUR ass first?", say "oh HELL yes", but then REALLY lean into it. 'specially if she's a black grrL that's never been with that many white boys, she will freak out and give up the ass just to be able to stop what she's doing. again, IME.

gentle massage, a bit of wine, load up some Passion HD on the Red Tubes? just avoid that dood with the weird crooked Frankenstein's Monster dick. shit is ODD looking. like they grafted a black dood's cock onto him.

just go for it with a tiny bit of warning when she's close. actually, kinda the most effective way.

smartass answer - fuck. i dunno. all the truth's are kinda smartass sounding. tell her a story about how you're from the future and the hope of the planet is to be found in her ass? but REALLY sell it. you'll need costumes, a friend that looks helluv like you to sit with her as you burst in with your Just Shaved It Today Comb Over. try to gain a bit of weight without her noticing to really seal the illusion.

behndy wrote: Passion HD on the Red Tubes

This is the answer to everything.

YEP. true. THAT.

I feel like I understand women, and the entire universe, entirely now.

I just finished that story, and now I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

I need to get a bear.

Dear Behndy,

Lets just cuddle tonight ok?

Dear Behndy,

Since you ruined four movies for me, how about recommending some good ones I haven't seen yet?

Also, how long did it take you to be able to tap like that?

Not bitter,
Hak'stah

MaxMaps wrote:Dear Behndy,

Lets just cuddle tonight ok?

real answer - yes please.

smartass answre - oh HELL yes.

Dear Behndy,

Would you eat this?



Huh?

Love,
Chankgeez

Haki wrote:Dear Behndy,

Since you ruined four movies for me, how about recommending some good ones I haven't seen yet?

Also, how long did it take you to be able to tap like that?

Not bitter,
Hak'stah

real answer - there isn't anything good out right now. mad lull of no creativity. Snow White And The Huntsman was fun. not really great, but fun. i really wanted to watch The Loved Ones (http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-love ... 11584/main ) but all my friend's that like good bad movies weren't around the 5 days it was in theaters. but i love shit like Wolf Creek. an Australian take on Audition? more manic? centered around the Prom? yes please.

edit - WATCH THE SKIN I LIVE IN. that shit was GREAT. probably a rental or DL now though.

smartass asnwer - Katy Perry movie. yeah it's going to suck, but learn enough to sing along and beat one out in the theater. make sure you time your finish to some concert excess explosion shenanigans. i heard her tits got a separate listing in the credits before anything else.

tapping - dooooooood. i suck. seriously. Jean's got a book that teaches one how to ACTUALLY tap stuff. i put in about an hour trying to play something a few months after i went to a sixer, realized it's not that hard to fake it a LITTLE, bladow. realz. i can't do any of the complicated crazy stuff people that really know what they're doing. faaaaaaaaaaaake IT.

Chankgeez wrote:Dear Behndy,

Would you eat this?



Huh?

Love,
Chankgeez

real answer - i came GLITTER.

smartass answer - i came glitter and it won't stop. it's like all the Keebler Elves extant are making it rain. out of my peener. and it hurts in the worst way. but that waffle would make everything right in the world. IF YOU'RE EVER IN LAS VEGAS AND YOU DON'T HAVE A WAFFLE AT MON AMI GABI IN THE MORNING YOU ARE A BAD BAD PERSON THAT IS DEAD INSIDE.

also, fuck you. i'm off to work and a bowl of cereal to start the day. now i'm going to be wet for waffles forever. you bastard. you lovely, lovely bastard.

No smartass answer on tapping? That had so much potential.

Haki wrote:No smartass answer on tapping? That had so much potential.

it just.... it felt too easy. it's jokes that kinda tell themselves y'know?