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I respect the negative golden rule 'don't do unto others what You would not have done to You'. Just because people tend to get ideas and since people suck there hardly is a reason to give them the moral right to serve You back the karma, right? That's hard enough. And I know that unfortunately the one and only people in this world that I actually can motivate to such responsibility towards myself is nobody else but me myself. Philosophically speaking, the moral responsibilities just don't work symmetrically that way.

So just fucking tell them they are the reason for splitting if they are so they know next time when they are being assholes that even being an asshole comes with repercussions. And make them sorry for having been assholes if You feel like it

Can I take your place?

.

typically when someone's being a self-absorbed jerk, telling them so doesn't really help because, er, they're a self-absorbed jerk and as such really aren't capable of hearing it. insert "overbearing asshole," "whiny bitch," "undependable drunk," or any of the myriad of other reasons/personality disorders that make bandmates not work out, and you see why i resort to "this just isn't working." trying to tell people what they don't want to know is wasting time and oxygen.

dubkitty wrote:typically when someone's being a self-absorbed jerk, telling them so doesn't really help because, er, they're a self-absorbed jerk and as such really aren't capable of hearing it. insert "overbearing asshole," "whiny bitch," "undependable drunk," or any of the myriad of other reasons/personality disorders that make bandmates not work out, and you see why i resort to "this just isn't working." trying to tell people what they don't want to know is wasting time and oxygen.

Except for when it effects change - then it's not such a waste of the thirty seconds/one breath it took you to speak your mind.

merhumblegrumble

wat

StopReferencing wrote:

dubkitty wrote:typically when someone's being a self-absorbed jerk, telling them so doesn't really help because, er, they're a self-absorbed jerk and as such really aren't capable of hearing it. insert "overbearing asshole," "whiny bitch," "undependable drunk," or any of the myriad of other reasons/personality disorders that make bandmates not work out, and you see why i resort to "this just isn't working." trying to tell people what they don't want to know is wasting time and oxygen.

Except for when it effects change - then it's not such a waste of the thirty seconds/one breath it took you to speak your mind.

Like Kitty said, during the fight it might be that the combatants fail to see themselves as they are BUT - like StopRef pointed out - in the lonely dark hours when there is nobody else to blame for one's own flaws that have been brought up...

Perhaps it's just me but I really believe in personal growth. It's not hippie unicorns. I've seen it. Didn't cost shit either and wasn't too buffered to go with fuzz.

Judging by how I've felt about some stinging truths spouted at my face... I'd say it serves as a material for future reality checks and contemplation. If it works that way for me, it might be useful for others, too. And a point in referensing the negative golden rule is to point out that Wouldn't You insist on being told Yourself the reason why if You was being given boot? If not, then it's no, and calling them simply assholes works as summary.

theavondon wrote:merhumblegrumble

tenderspendersflenders's
hope You're doing okay with everything behinds the scenes and nonsense

MaxMaps wrote:

theactionindex wrote:

MaxMaps wrote:you have to love having you singer strung out of coke and always short on rent for the space

Replace that with drummer and bassist, and you have the last band I quit.

goddamn I hate people.

FUCKING BASS PLAYERS.

i just left a thing i was in for 3 years. was fucking rough, but i did put in the effort to tell the one guy (me and the drummer left to try a new thing) face to face. what really sucked is me and him have been friends for almost 20 years off and on. we're just in really different places now.

i agree with everything Briiiiiiii said, but also..... you know what the situation was like, not us. if it was all fucked up and there's nothing you want to salvage, do your thing homie.

i am bumping that Symphonies of the Planets Christopher With The Sechsy Cherry put a thread up about. DAMN awesome.

hurm. was gonna comment on something then realized it might be something AvonDonnaL might be trying to have not have had happened. so...... yeah. nevah minds.

Every band I've ever quit I always shot it straight. I think it sets your character. Whether you like or dislike the people you work with. I think karma and future endeavors will be on your side with a respectable exit. Even if it seems trivial and pointless to explain something you think they won't even understand. It's true, years later you won't know what the impact of that moment will lead too. Plus it will honestly bring inner peace to you. I remember loathing quitting a band I was in with all my best friends. As people, I loved them, but musically I was really selling my self short on the level of experimentation the others were willing to attempt. I felt it was really unhealthy for my spirit and for my music. I quit and sure they were hurt but looking back on it now I'm so glad I did things the way I did. That lead me to find a whole other world and culture of musicians while still maintaining my roots. Say it, get it over with, and move into your next musical endeavor.

behndy wrote:hurm. was gonna comment on something then realized it might be something AvonDonnaL might be trying to have not have had happened. so...... yeah. nevah minds.

cough herm grumble cough

IGNORRRRRRRE MEEEEEEEEEEE!