A bass exciter called
Perkele and a hold-delay (with a high pass filter) called
Ikirouta (Finnish for permafrost as used in folklore and poetry) would be totally badass.
The grimmest Gods and folklore from the norse and fenno-slavonic tradition can be indeed pretty unnerving at times. The mentality comes well through folk sayings:
Elä itke pieni laps, huomenna lyyvään piäs kivveen which translates into something like
don't You worry my little one, today we'll smash Your head into a rock. Which is supposed to sound funny, actually, which , I'm afraid, is a good example against the supposition that jokes are international.
But then again, what can You expect when summer lasts for about two to three months, and people have by large lived in seclusion, in constant threat of crop failure and starvation.