ilovefuzz.com

It's a perfect plan. So inspired. So devious. Yet so simple.

Back in Boston. Another couple months until I get to see my girlfriend again.

i never cease to amaze myself
what a fuckin idiot i can be
ive never changed the oil on my truck myself
never had a good space to do it
now i got this swizzlsweet garage
ive changed oil before just not on my truck yet
figured what the fuck right
so igo oninternets for how to
change my shit in like 20 mins
im checkin the dipshtick
and i notice its like way too full
only after 5 quarts
on the internet theres always some moron
who will give you the answer your lookin for
the one that requires no extra work
well i listened to that one and went to my job
when i pull in at home today i hear clunk
hmm wow am i that much of a dildo pounded butthole
yes i am
i drained all the transmission fluid out of my shit
and put oil into an already full engine
if that aint bad enough
tranny fluid aint meant to be changed on my truck
so the fill plug is in an outrageously horrible spot
oyfuckinoyyoyyoykillmenowpleasethankyou

Trying to relearn a song I wrote 5 years ago, with nothing to go on other than a shitty distorted-as-fuck iphone recording of a riff from my practice amp.

ryan summit wrote:i never cease to amaze myself
what a fuckin idiot i can be
ive never changed the oil on my truck myself
never had a good space to do it
now i got this swizzlsweet garage
ive changed oil before just not on my truck yet
figured what the fuck right
so igo oninternets for how to
change my shit in like 20 mins
im checkin the dipshtick
and i notice its like way too full
only after 5 quarts
on the internet theres always some moron
who will give you the answer your lookin for
the one that requires no extra work
well i listened to that one and went to my job
when i pull in at home today i hear clunk
hmm wow am i that much of a dildo pounded butthole
yes i am
i drained all the transmission fluid out of my shit
and put oil into an already full engine
if that aint bad enough
tranny fluid aint meant to be changed on my truck
so the fill plug is in an outrageously horrible spot
oyfuckinoyyoyyoykillmenowpleasethankyou

Fuuuuuuck. Sorry man, I had to laugh though because it reminded me of all the bullshit we've had to go through with cars. You should probably go ahead and get a bag of kitty litter for the future too
I fucking hate the people who design the layouts of engines and how everything under the hood is routed. Make that shit reachable. And fuck any car that uses a handful of computers, you can't even do anything yourself. I guess if you have the money for a car like that, you have the money or warranty to take it into a dealership, though. Maybe.
I just want a car or truck that isn't a POS, is purely mechanical, and hasn't had its wires spliced and rerouted by "this guy I know, he does good work. Did it for a six pack!"
Is it so much to ask?

I know I said I was banning myself from the interwebs, but I feel like I need to write this down to think it out. Rant/rambly sadness:

I got back the rest of my midterms and I tanked on ALL OF THEM I literally came out on the bottom of all three distributions. So.... I'm not really sure what I should do. I've been working ten to twelve hour days almost everyday of the week (I cut back to eight or so on Saturday). My colleagues apparently have been putting in even more work. Some of them schedule their studying so they study the easiest stuff when they start getting tired and then eventually just drift off to sleep listening to recordings of our lectures.

I'm not sure I have that sort of dedication in me anymore. I'm not sure I ever had that much dedication. I've been told the first year is scary because you're not sure if you can do it yet, and after that it doesn't really get easier, you just get used to it. If that's true, I have five years of horrible stress and even more horrible work ahead of me.

For a lot of the homework, when I work on it, it's not with the intention of learning it it's with the intention of getting through it. Because for most of my homeworks there's a minimum of 15 hours of work that go into each one. I'm beginning to wonder if it would be more worth my while to just get a job, because chances are it'd be less stress and better hours

The problem there though, is that I have no marketable skills and my resume has one job on it (that's completely unrelated to my degree), so I'm pretty sure I couldn't find any sort of job right now.

So my options are: try and struggle through this first year and hope it gets better, drop down to the master's program after this quarter, drop out and try to find a job (which would more likely than not mean moving back to utah), or kill myself. Right now those options are all pretty equally weighted... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Car is running on one less cylinder than it should and either both front tires have leaks or this cold snap is doing something to them. I need a job to fix these things but I need a car to get a job. Modern society Y U SO CATCH 22?????

wfs1234 wrote:I know I said I was banning myself from the interwebs, but I feel like I need to write this down to think it out. Rant/rambly sadness:

I got back the rest of my midterms and I tanked on ALL OF THEM I literally came out on the bottom of all three distributions. So.... I'm not really sure what I should do. I've been working ten to twelve hour days almost everyday of the week (I cut back to eight or so on Saturday). My colleagues apparently have been putting in even more work. Some of them schedule their studying so they study the easiest stuff when they start getting tired and then eventually just drift off to sleep listening to recordings of our lectures.

I'm not sure I have that sort of dedication in me anymore. I'm not sure I ever had that much dedication. I've been told the first year is scary because you're not sure if you can do it yet, and after that it doesn't really get easier, you just get used to it. If that's true, I have five years of horrible stress and even more horrible work ahead of me.

For a lot of the homework, when I work on it, it's not with the intention of learning it it's with the intention of getting through it. Because for most of my homeworks there's a minimum of 15 hours of work that go into each one. I'm beginning to wonder if it would be more worth my while to just get a job, because chances are it'd be less stress and better hours

The problem there though, is that I have no marketable skills and my resume has one job on it (that's completely unrelated to my degree), so I'm pretty sure I couldn't find any sort of job right now.

So my options are: try and struggle through this first year and hope it gets better, drop down to the master's program after this quarter, drop out and try to find a job (which would more likely than not mean moving back to utah), or kill myself. Right now those options are all pretty equally weighted... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You know, I was just kicking myself for not pursuing academia. Now I am not.

I am, however, guilty of keeping it 100% only 40% of the time this week.

wfs1234 wrote:I know I said I was banning myself from the interwebs, but I feel like I need to write this down to think it out. Rant/rambly sadness:

I got back the rest of my midterms and I tanked on ALL OF THEM I literally came out on the bottom of all three distributions. So.... I'm not really sure what I should do. I've been working ten to twelve hour days almost everyday of the week (I cut back to eight or so on Saturday). My colleagues apparently have been putting in even more work. Some of them schedule their studying so they study the easiest stuff when they start getting tired and then eventually just drift off to sleep listening to recordings of our lectures.

I'm not sure I have that sort of dedication in me anymore. I'm not sure I ever had that much dedication. I've been told the first year is scary because you're not sure if you can do it yet, and after that it doesn't really get easier, you just get used to it. If that's true, I have five years of horrible stress and even more horrible work ahead of me.

For a lot of the homework, when I work on it, it's not with the intention of learning it it's with the intention of getting through it. Because for most of my homeworks there's a minimum of 15 hours of work that go into each one. I'm beginning to wonder if it would be more worth my while to just get a job, because chances are it'd be less stress and better hours

The problem there though, is that I have no marketable skills and my resume has one job on it (that's completely unrelated to my degree), so I'm pretty sure I couldn't find any sort of job right now.

So my options are: try and struggle through this first year and hope it gets better, drop down to the master's program after this quarter, drop out and try to find a job (which would more likely than not mean moving back to utah), or kill myself. Right now those options are all pretty equally weighted... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I think I know kind of how you're feeling

I'm still in undergrad and don't have a lot of hours at my job (but I spend a fuckton more doing student government and other student group stuff). But I'm so stressed out and hate what I'm studying, I don't even plan to use my economics degree when I graduate (at least I hope I don't have to). My econometrics class is kicking my ass, the professor sucks as does the textbook. I've got a test tonight where I couldn't even explain what half of the questions mean and I have a 25 page research paper due at the end of the semester that I'm seriously behind on. Add that to the fact that I have back to back intermediate accounting exams on Monday. If I'm this stressed out from undergrad and working less than you, I can only imagine how stressed you are

Here's to hoping you either find the motivation to keep you in school or to finding something else you enjoy much more that will support you

Wes Mantooth wrote:

wfs1234 wrote:I know I said I was banning myself from the interwebs, but I feel like I need to write this down to think it out. Rant/rambly sadness:

I got back the rest of my midterms and I tanked on ALL OF THEM I literally came out on the bottom of all three distributions. So.... I'm not really sure what I should do. I've been working ten to twelve hour days almost everyday of the week (I cut back to eight or so on Saturday). My colleagues apparently have been putting in even more work. Some of them schedule their studying so they study the easiest stuff when they start getting tired and then eventually just drift off to sleep listening to recordings of our lectures.

I'm not sure I have that sort of dedication in me anymore. I'm not sure I ever had that much dedication. I've been told the first year is scary because you're not sure if you can do it yet, and after that it doesn't really get easier, you just get used to it. If that's true, I have five years of horrible stress and even more horrible work ahead of me.

For a lot of the homework, when I work on it, it's not with the intention of learning it it's with the intention of getting through it. Because for most of my homeworks there's a minimum of 15 hours of work that go into each one. I'm beginning to wonder if it would be more worth my while to just get a job, because chances are it'd be less stress and better hours

The problem there though, is that I have no marketable skills and my resume has one job on it (that's completely unrelated to my degree), so I'm pretty sure I couldn't find any sort of job right now.

So my options are: try and struggle through this first year and hope it gets better, drop down to the master's program after this quarter, drop out and try to find a job (which would more likely than not mean moving back to utah), or kill myself. Right now those options are all pretty equally weighted... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I think I know kind of how you're feeling

I'm still in undergrad and don't have a lot of hours at my job (but I spend a fuckton more doing student government and other student group stuff). But I'm so stressed out and hate what I'm studying, I don't even plan to use my economics degree when I graduate (at least I hope I don't have to). My econometrics class is kicking my ass, the professor sucks as does the textbook. I've got a test tonight where I couldn't even explain what half of the questions mean and I have a 25 page research paper due at the end of the semester that I'm seriously behind on. Add that to the fact that I have back to back intermediate accounting exams on Monday. If I'm this stressed out from undergrad and working less than you, I can only imagine how stressed you are

Here's to hoping you either find the motivation to keep you in school or to finding something else you enjoy much more that will support you

Thanks

That's about how econometrics went the first time I took it. But your experience with that class sounds about like mine with the core micro and core macro courses. I like economics still, but I feel like something needs to be done about the ENORMOUS disconnect between undergraduate and graduate economics.

To put it in pokemon terms, getting a bachelor's in economics and trying to move immediately on to grad school is kinda like if the only requirement to face the final four was having the badges up to boulder badge. Yeah, you can go fight the final four, but unless you do some SERIOUS training, there's no way around getting your ass kicked.

I've decided to drop down to the masters program. I'll have $90k in debt by then, and where I've flunked out of one PhD program, I really don't have a chance of being accepted into another one until some time has passed and I've gotten some econ-related job experience under my belt. But, I'll be more marketable so hopefully I can find a job Not really a better option at this point. I'm staying in the phd program till the end of the quarter, because I doubt I'll be able to drop down this late, and I feel like the professor's won't respect me unless I put everything I've got into finals to prove I'm not a complete idiot.

I don't care about the new YouTube comments section.

Every fucking video has a wall of text that involves some shitty pseudo Google+ protests or has the entire Wikipedia entry about Testicles. YT comments were already pants of head retarded, it managed to get worse.

Like a fucking corporation cares about the opinion of douchebags that litters social media sites with filth.

Andrew wrote:I don't care about the new YouTube comments section.

Every fucking video has a wall of text that involves some shitty pseudo Google+ protests or has the entire Wikipedia entry about Testicles. YT comments were already pants of head retarded, it managed to get worse.

Like a fucking corporation cares about the opinion of douchebags that litters social media sites with filth.

THIS IS BOB
BOB HAS A TANK
PASTE THIS ON TEN OTHER VIDEOS
IT'S TIME TO TAKE YOUTUBE BACK

I fucking hate not being able to sleep.

When I lose enough sleep I hate myself and everyone and everything.

i haven't been eating or sleeping well since the job disaster a few weeks ago. i'm trying, but my body and brain are on opposite sides..."EAT!" "I DON'T WQNT ANYTHING!"

utterly petrified that the new job will crap out even though i did data entry for months when i was younger. that, and the cold weather, kept me in bed all day today. too scared and fucked up to do anything but worry and shake.