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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:10 pm
by weed_killer
all arrows point down around here. Been going for long walks playing 'On the Beach' and just generally feeling like a worthless sack of flesh. I know I'll get out of it soon enough, but at the same
time I'll know I'll fall back into it as well.
theactionindex wrote:Pretty intense panic attack right now.
sorry to hear that.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:31 am
by dubkitty
i'm really perplexed. the job is probably going OK, but i'm utterly overwhelmed with all the stuff i'm having to learn. i broke down crying when i got home today, exhausted. i'm utterly terrified because if this doesn't work out i don't have anywhere to go, and nobody who will take me in. all my blessings come with a side order of difficulty...my music gear is great, but it's a ton of stuff to lug around, and my beloved kitty becomes a great big complication if i have to move on. i just don't know what to do other than keep trying to make things work, but i'm really afraid. i feel like i'm out here all alone, and i am still living with a broken heart from losing Kimmie and our home. i don't know if i'll ever get over this. if it wasn't for my friend Feather, who once worked at a silkscreening shop, telling me that i can do it because she could i'd be in total despair. i'm not that far away from it now, only a couple of hours in fact. i can't get a good night's sleep here because i'm living in a cold apartment and sleeping on an air bed, and it makes getting ready for work in the morning sheer hell. i'm just so tired of, well, everything. of life. i don't understand what i'm doing this for. i don't want this life, i want the life i used to have...but i can never have that again. i'm just so lost.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:59 am
by Wes Mantooth
dubkitty wrote:i'm really perplexed. the job is probably going OK, but i'm utterly overwhelmed with all the stuff i'm having to learn. i broke down crying when i got home today, exhausted. i'm utterly terrified because if this doesn't work out i don't have anywhere to go, and nobody who will take me in. all my blessings come with a side order of difficulty...my music gear is great, but it's a ton of stuff to lug around, and my beloved kitty becomes a great big complication if i have to move on. i just don't know what to do other than keep trying to make things work, but i'm really afraid. i feel like i'm out here all alone, and i am still living with a broken heart from losing Kimmie and our home. i don't know if i'll ever get over this. if it wasn't for my friend Feather, who once worked at a silkscreening shop, telling me that i can do it because she could i'd be in total despair. i'm not that far away from it now, only a couple of hours in fact. i can't get a good night's sleep here because i'm living in a cold apartment and sleeping on an air bed, and it makes getting ready for work in the morning sheer hell. i'm just so tired of, well, everything. of life. i don't understand what i'm doing this for. i don't want this life, i want the life i used to have...but i can never have that again. i'm just so lost.
Mojos sent
If you're ever in the Minneapolis area and need a place to stay or someone to hang out with, just let me know.
I'm taking Wellbutrin and Trazadone currently and it's definitely improved my outlook, along with counseling. I can actually fall asleep without being stoned out of my mind so thats dope. Also don't research the best ways to commit suicide anymore, even better. Future still feels pretty hopeless though. I can't seem to muster any excitement or passion for anything, it just gets me through the day. It's really frustrating being surrounded by great people and not being able to forge any emotionally connected relationships. Also sucks that I'm fortunate to be surrounded with so much opportunity and not feeling a damn thing about it. I feel so ungrateful but I can't help it
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 3:48 am
by goosekevin
Mantooth you're describing something very similar to me
Hugs for you dub and mantooth - offer for place to stay and hang stands if you're either ever in Australia hahaha
In my news, family computer has fucked itself and the techie doesn't seem confident that he'll be able to save the pictures and music
Fuck
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:42 pm
by D.o.S.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:16 pm
by RR Bigman
Bicycle accident this morning....now the the cable for the derailleur is snapped and some of the teeth on the gears are broken. Definitely can't afford this shit. My morning routine is ruined, but I'm not seriously injured so I suppose I shouldn't be so bummed but.....MEH
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:23 pm
by Achtane
It's just an effect bro, like that one Melvins song.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:37 pm
by jfrey
I need to fix a pedal, but my girlfriend "organized" all my tools and components into another dimension before leaving for school.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:26 pm
by D.o.S.
Achtane wrote:It's just an effect bro, like that one Melvins song.
Eric's trip is my jam. I can't have no skips on that shit when it's blasting in my abode.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 6:35 pm
by snipelfritz
D.o.S. wrote:Achtane wrote:It's just an effect bro, like that one Melvins song.
Eric's trip is my jam. I can't have no skips on that shit when it's blasting in my abode.
Seems pretty good to me.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:12 pm
by fishtankdork
My life besides gear is generally shitty. a small ray of sunshine has been a girl. Been daring this girl for 4-5 months. First relationship in a Over a year because last two girls i was with couldnt go to the gas station without sucking ten Dicks. decided to take a break. i meet thid old fshion girl and think wow. Everything's awesome or so I think. We havent had sex yet, she made it seem like she likes to take things slow. Tonight she dropped the Bomb that she doesn't know if our relationship is going to work out because my dick is to big. Wtf. She's passed out in bed next to me now and I'm all up and thinking what the fuck and typing this on my iPhone. I can't help but feel like everything in my life besides my guitars work against me. Even my dick. Fuck. I swear. Ugh. Fuck. I just want to slam my goddamn head in a microwave.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:18 pm
by Achtane
...wat.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:19 pm
by Wes Mantooth
fishtankdork wrote:My life besides gear is generally shitty. a small ray of sunshine has been a girl. Been daring this girl for 4-5 months. First relationship in a Over a year because last two girls i was with couldnt go to the gas station without sucking ten Dicks. decided to take a break. i meet thid old fshion girl and think wow. Everything's awesome or so I think. We havent had sex yet, she made it seem like she likes to take things slow. Tonight she dropped the Bomb that she doesn't know if our relationship is going to work out because my dick is to big. Wtf. She's passed out in bed next to me now and I'm all up and thinking what the fuck and typing this on my iPhone. I can't help but feel like everything in my life besides my guitars work against me. Even my dick. Fuck. I swear. Ugh. Fuck. I just want to slam my goddamn head in a microwave.
Man that really sucks and is a terrible reason for a relationship not to work. Hope everything smooths over for you! The thought of failing relationships (especially a good one when everything else sucks) sends me in to panic mode so I can empathize with you there. Haven't really had that problem in a while though, I feel like I'm getting too comfortable with just being alone
I've been sick with some sort of nasty cold the past couple of days I'm freezing and have a fair amount of throat and chest pain. Add that to the fact that I'm currently having a another daily dry-heaving fit and you've got a fairly shitty, unproductive day. MY cats have been making me laugh all day though so that's something.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:23 pm
by theactionindex
fishtankdork wrote:she doesn't know if our relationship is going to work out because my dick is to big.
Achtane wrote:...wat.
Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:25 pm
by Achtane
MAYBE YOU SHOULD REMIND HER JUST HOW BIG HER SLIME HOLE IS
LOOK AT THAT SHIT IN A MIRROR SOMETIME GURL B-FO YOU GO CRITISIZIN
