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Sweet photos, Behndy. I bet peeps in the audience were quite jealous.

greigoroth wrote:Oh yeah, sorry for being a total dick about paternity leave - it was meant light-hearted but probably came across pretty much 100% douchey. Honestly, props to everyone who does the best they can given leave situations that aren't as good as I've been lucky enough to have.
Also, good work on helping your wife regardless of the work situation Jwar - I was at home together with my wife for the first four weeks and it was ridiculously tough - dunno how we'd have done it with only one pair of hands at home.

Nothing douchey was said. Or at least I never saw it.

Yeah,...kids are tough,...I can't imagine.

I'm so selfish, lazy and immature, I can't see giving up my life of limited responsibility that I could raise kids.

I'm sure I'd be a fun dad but a lousy father/disciplinarian.

That; and I don't really want to share my wife with kids.

This; is why I got the snip two years.

There are times that I regret that decision,...like,...when my wife expresses desire for motherhood,...but that usually passes when some sort of financial or emotional instability crops up. Also the reality that it's a decision that we made together and that we have to live with.

I never planned on being a father (and am still slightly stunned by it all), but after 20+ years of it I think I'm getting the hang of it. Maybe. Sometimes. All I know is that Katie lists me as a BFF as well as her father, so I'm guessing that I've done some of it right.

warwick.hoy wrote:Yeah,...kids are tough,...I can't imagine.

I'm so selfish, lazy and immature, I can't see giving up my life of limited responsibility that I could raise kids.

I'm sure I'd be a fun dad but a lousy father/disciplinarian.

That; and I don't really want to share my wife with kids.

This; is why I got the snip two years.

There are times that I regret that decision,...like,...when my wife expresses desire for motherhood,...but that usually passes when some sort of financial or emotional instability crops up. Also the reality that it's a decision that we made together and that we have to live with.

Props too you.

I don't know if I was lucky or what, if my Dad had too make a choice about the life he lived I don't think I would have been born.

Both of my parents raised my brother and I though tough time. They ate what they could afford, my dad slept on sacks of potatoes so that he could stay at work longer to help pay the bills. They took side jobs, cleaned houses and almost never slept. There were months, where after the bills were paid they had about a 100 bucks to last the entire month.

And even after years of hard work they ended up being successful, the best gift they ever gave me was knowing that they loved me no matter what.

Took me a while to realized, when at some point I was scared of having kids too that the key to doing it right is letting your kids know that you ultimately love them. My dad who is 55 and I am now in my 30's , today still calls me baby boy.

I am scared shitless but when I do knock my wife up, I think I will have amazing people to look up too.

MaxMaps wrote:
I don't know if I was lucky or what, if my Dad had too make a choice about the life he lived I don't think I would have been born.

Both of my parents raised my brother and I though tough time. They ate what they could afford, my dad slept on sacks of potatoes so that he could stay at work longer to help pay the bills. They took side jobs, cleaned houses and almost never slept. There were months, where after the bills were paid they had about a 100 bucks to last the entire month.

And even after years of hard work they ended up being successful, the best gift they ever gave me was knowing that they loved me no matter what.

Took me a while to realized, when at some point I was scared of having kids too that the key to doing it right is letting your kids know that you ultimately love them. My dad who is 55 and I am now in my 30's , today still calls me baby boy.

I am scared shitless but when I do knock my wife up, I think I will have amazing people to look up too.

Nothing like a good role model when it comes to successful parenting. Sounds like your parents are damn awesome people. Nowadays it is rare to hear such stories. Even 30 y ago. Much respect.

d'awwwwwwww! your parents ROKK homie.

yah. mine's didna have it near as rough as you, but they gave up stuff to make sure we had every opportunity, and worked way harder than if they hadna had the three of us. i have so much respect for folks that can do it. i'm just not that guy. i'm wayyyyy too lazy and selfish.

i'm with aHoyHoy. i might be a fun dad, i would spoil the little buggers and suck at telling them no. that's..... not my thing. i'm more of a "urrrrrr.... yeah. that sounds like a good idea. FUCK IT." kinda guy?

I think my opinion is a little clouded by a strange upbringing,...the farce that is the American Family Unit (certainly not every family,...definitely admitting to stereotyping and generalizing here).

My folks did what they had to. But beyond putting me through a private school no sacrifices were made for me. My dad was in the Navy and I get the feeling that his deployments were like a vacation for him. I feel like he was pretty much never there. I would get letters occasionally when he was out to sea. Usually when I was fucking up (which pretty much amounted to not applying myself in school).

He retired from the Navy when I was 15, pursued his own degree,...tried to set my mom up financially and then filed for divorce when I was 17-18 about to graduate. No money was put aside for me to go to school,...even though it was expected that I go to school. It was like my brother was (and still is) a lost cause and I was old enough to handle it on my own,...so my dad was finally able to wash his hands of the family he started and pursue his own happiness and assimilate into another family.

I absolutely do not fault him for that at all. I'm actually glad that I wasn't given everything. Being happy is important and I hope that he is happy. In the end that's not really any of my business,...he's a good man,...and he has shown his love by helping me out in times of need. Our relationship isn't strained but our talks are infrequent. It's been a long time since I've needed or asked for help. I love him dearly,...he was a good father,...but not such a good dad. He tells me he's proud of me for finding my own way and making it work. I'm not as successful as him and I probably never will be nor do I care to be. There are some qualities, affinities and interests that he has that I also harbor,...but I absolutely want to be a different person than he was,...hence not joining the military,...hence pursuing the fruitless and non lucrative hobby of being a musician (he was a Sax player during high school).

My mom was the present parent. She was very loving,...but overprotective to a fault. I don't have any great adventures to speak of from my childhood. No close calls,...no broken bones,...no damage (which in retrospect I consider damage in and of itself,...if you aren't damaged,...you're not doing it right). I spent my teenage years locked away in my room (on my own accord) playing my bass and my guitar. I slept a lot. No one ever expressed concern that that was what I chose to do. Instead of going out and getting into trouble. I guess that was a relief for my folks after the shit show that was my brother.

It literally took me to the age of 33 (which I turned in April) to feel any sort of damage that is beyond angsty loneliness high school bullshit. Damage that woke me up and shook me out of complacency. Damage that remade me and gave me passion.

At this point I am my own role model with a lot of being shown the way by my wife.

Deep post.

So I'll wonder aloud how brilliant it is behnders is busking by an ATM.

"Yeah, yeah, you don't have any money... riiiight."

phantasmagorovich wrote:


Nothing like a good role model when it comes to successful parenting. Sounds like your parents are damn awesome people. Nowadays it is rare to hear such stories. Even 30 y ago. Much respect.

Thank you all so much If you could not tell from my constant ramblings on Facebook about Oregon State Football, the reason why I am such a huge fan is because it is where my Dad and mom went. I am not even an Alumni. My dad and I are a lot closer because I follow college ball.

I kind of hit the parent lotto. I have always known buy other friends families, even my wife's (my mother in law is one of the most terrible people I have ever known) how fortunate I am.

They do have their faults though, but that comes with being human and all.

Warwicky Huge respect for you amigo.

I am also convinced that behndy is a space pokemon. Sent on this planet to love.

I have a huge Catholic family. I'm three of six. Three brothers and two sisters. My Dad didn't do a lot with the older kids. I know now that he was ALWAYS working. Started his own insurance business when I was around 10 and was not making much money back then. We didn't have much but we never knew why. We were told we didn't have cable because Beavis and Butthead and Ren and Stimpy were bad. Stuff like that. I can see now it was just to save money. When I say my Dad didn't do much with us, I mean he didn't go to our games or kick the ball around with us. We still saw him. He was always really irritable but not abusive or anything. Now that we're all moved out, he's totally chill and cool and wants to spend time with us. I know his irritability was all about trying to raise six kids on a low income so I hold no grudges, rather I admire him.

My mom is just awesome. Plain and simple. She would work for my dad a lot but just did so much for us. She is just amazing.

And my parents raised six totally different kids (we live in totally different areas, way different personalities, range from Catholic to Buddhist to Atheist) and completely accept all of them. They're insanely supportive. All six of us graduated (or are going to) college, there's doctorates and masters degrees in there, no teen babies, no divorces.....not bragging since it wasn't me that did it. In fact, it's a bit of non bragging in that everything I have I owe to them. But my parents had a lot of adversity and we all came out great.

And Behndy is a big motha from outa space and he bad.

I decided many years ago that i shouldn't have children...my parents tried really hard--my mom went back to work as soon as i hit kindergarten, and my father worked TWO jobs for several years which probably had something to do with his dying of a second heart attack at 77--but they were alcoholic, depressive, and really didn't want to be parents any more by the time i was born since they'd been raising kids since 1937 (i was born in 1956). i also inherited the family predilection for depression, and have never felt like i was stable enough mentally or financially to have children. sometimes i really regret it, but since i'm 55 now it's kind of too late...i'd be dead by the time the kid(s) were out of high school, or so old and weak that i couldn't keep up with kids. better to leave it to people more qualified. x number of generations of fucked up kids is enough. and i don't do well with human beings in any case...i'm much better with cats.

D.o.S. wrote:Deep post.

So I'll wonder aloud how brilliant it is behnders is busking by an ATM.

"Yeah, yeah, you don't have any money... riiiight."

this made me laugh entirely too much.

*eye contact*

*head nod towards atm*

*more eye contact*

*repeat*

..... what kinda pokemon? i've always been partial to squirtle just for the watersports implications, but i have a grrL that we used pikachu references for different sex acts and/or accessories so often that pika's got a soft squishy place in my heart.

behndy wrote:

D.o.S. wrote:Deep post.

So I'll wonder aloud how brilliant it is behnders is busking by an ATM.

"Yeah, yeah, you don't have any money... riiiight."

this made me laugh entirely too much.

*eye contact*

*head nod towards atm*

*more eye contact*

*repeat*

..... what kinda pokemon? i've always been partial to squirtle just for the watersports implications, but i have a grrL that we used pikachu references for different sex acts and/or accessories so often that pika's got a soft squishy place in my heart.

Which ever pokemon that looks like a grrl but has the boy bits.

and says MOOHA

gawd i wish.